After five years of dating, she left me for another man and took my 20K away
We’re both set to begin our final year of college. I’m at UCC, and you’re at UG. We’d been dating since high school and were planning to marry shortly. I even told you that with the economy as it is, two children should be sufficient for us to raise. Our main hope was that it would be one boy and one girl so that we wouldn’t have to keep trying for a specific gender. These proposals have piqued your and my interest. My mother told me the first time I brought you home that you were lovely and well-mannered, and that I should make sure I acted in a manner befitting of you. My father passed away in 2020. That was prior to the first time I took you home. I wish he had met you at the time. I was certain he would have loved you as well. My three siblings have no reservations about you. When you initially brought me home, your stern father told me I should concentrate on my studies and start following his daughter after school. He was the only one who was opposed to our love, although your mother was the polar opposite.
She greeted me cheerfully and chatted with me in a polite manner. Your only brother joked with me that if I destroy his sister’s heart, he will come after me. We were doing rather well for ourselves. We formed a joint account and agreed to donate GHc100 each month to aid us when the time came for our marriage. We were doing the susu to tie the knot. Because I am the man, I contribute more money each month than you do. It alternated between ghc500 and ghc600. I would win a sports bet and deposit the entire amount into our account. An uncle from abroad would send me money, and I would save a little portion for myself and deposit the remainder into the account. I also saw that you hadn’t added any money for several months, but I never questioned you why. It wasn’t required. I am the guy, and it was my responsibility to manage our bond funds.
When I attempted to call you at about 8:00 pm and your phone was constantly busy, I recognised the first signals of lying and adultery. Meanwhile, for the previous few years, we’ve always talked on the phone around 8 a.m. It was our time, so I began to assume you had replaced me with someone else, but I didn’t question you. It was impossible for our relationship to be flawless. Distance relationships were difficult for me, but I was determined to make them work since I genuinely loved you. My housemates and pals continued making depressing remarks here and there. “By this time, somebro dey eat your lady gidigidi,” said one of my friends, who informed me that another guy was feasting on the fruit I was cultivating. That man ought to be a prophet.
Perhaps he didn’t require prophetic eyes to see what was obvious. I was the one who was blinded by love, unable to see what was so naked. Because of you, I left the Central Region for Legon one weekend. I was about to take tests. I needed to catch up on notes and schoolwork. I understood that my education was important to my future, but so was yours. So I travelled the entire distance. I casually asked you the night before whether you wanted to go home on Saturday. It was something you did on occasion. You said you’d stay on campus. I didn’t inform you I was going to Legon that Saturday. I arrived and went to your room. On prior occasions, I was present. Despite the fact that it was the first time I had arrived without your knowledge. Your roommate instructed whoever it was to come in when I knocked. None of you had any idea it was your UCC lover. I didn’t anticipate you to be sharing a bowl with a handsome gentleman.
He had his left hand on your lap and the banku and okro you were eating were almost completed. You were laughing and conversing. When I entered your room, I noticed how shocked you were, and how you attempted to seem normal by introducing the other person as your National Service teaching Assistant who had come to help you learn certain issues. You said you were hungry after studying, so you and your friends got some food. I felt wounded and envious. I was unhappy with myself for not choosing Legon forms that would allow me to be near to you. I blamed myself for everything you did to me, despite the fact that it was obvious that I was too wonderful for you. I believed your tale. I apologised to you when you were furious with me for dropping by unexpectedly. I came back as though nothing had occurred. That vac, your mother summoned me to your home.
She began telling me how disappointed she was in me. You were present. You were fixed on me. I’d noticed you’d gained weight, but nothing else came to mind. You were pregnant, and your mother mistook me for the father. You didn’t even refute it when she came to that conclusion. You didn’t tell her that the last time we did it was more than 6 months ago, and I was using protection. That was the point at which I’d had enough. I informed your mother of the truth. I told her you were cheating on me with your school’s TA. I informed her about my conversations with your roommate and how she was having trouble sleeping at midnight since the two of you were fighting with only a blanket covering you for privacy. You sighed at the delicacy of his touch because you assumed she was fast asleep.
After that, your mother apologised to me, and I went home. I needed to safeguard my reputation. You came to my residence to find out why I would betray you in this manner. You expected me to assume apologetic responsibility for a kid I did not father? What were you expecting from me? Our breakup was hard, but I have no regrets. The only thing I regret is that I trusted you and shared five years of my life with you. I was just sixteen years old and felt I was mature enough to grasp love. Now that I’m 21, I’m not even sure what love is. I attempted to withdraw funds from our joint account and offer you half, even knowing you contributed only about 25 to 30%. I was informed that you had already withdrawn the $20,000 from the account. I will never leave you that money. It is the only recompense I have received for all of the anguish you have caused me.
You switched hostels. Your folks stated you spent your vacation with your grandparents in Ho. They urged me to wait until you got home to talk about money, and they weren’t present when we opened the account at 18. When you returned, you stated that you had spent the money. You’ve done a lot of damage to me. This is something I’m thinking about. I haven’t informed you, but I’d want to perform rituals on you. I want you to feel some remorse for bringing me misery. I’m sure you’ll read this. I know you read this website. I would have mentioned your name, but the administrators will delete it. Return my money, or you will never be happy in your life. I won’t say anything else.
Source: Anonymous Confessions
How to start a new relationship: 6 tips to make it work this year
Starting a new relationship can be quite tricky yet exciting at the same time.
You will be excited at the prospect of someone loving you and caring for you, taking time for you.
The start of a relationship might probably be the best time of your life as you are starting a new relationship. However, as excited as you might be, it is crucial to know what to do in a new relationship and what not to do in a new relationship.
How to make it work
If you understand the dos and don’ts of new relationships, it will be easier for you to move forward and form a healthy relationship with your partner.
It would help if you respected each other’s independence and choices. Although it is alright to keep in touch, be aware of each other’s whereabouts, and communicate, continuously pinging each other can also suffocate at times.
It is just that how to start a relationship can be quite complicated and tricky and requires lots of effort. Once you get used to it and know about your partner, it is easier to form a healthy relationship.
Dos and don’ts for a new relationship can help you stop second-guessing yourself. It gives you a vague blueprint about what needs to be done, and it can enhance your bond further.
- Have realistic expectations
For a relationship to work, it is essential to be emotionally and mentally strong. You also have to be compromising and understanding. It’s not necessary that what you want in a relationship is the same as what your partner wants. So, be realistic about situations.
You can both have different thoughts and opinions, like how often you should text in a new relationship. While one person could enjoy the attention, the other appreciates space. So, it is crucial to find a middle ground.
- Show love and affection to your partner
You might have made a new boyfriend. And now you must be thinking about starting a new relationship with a man you’ve just developed feelings for.
You must first remember to show love and affection to your partner to strengthen the bond between you both. You must give attention and time to your partner and make eye contact with him.
- Don’t start talking about the future prematurely
When you start a new relationship, bombarding your partner with questions and plans for the future is not how relationships work. There is a big chance that you can put your partner off.
Every relationship requires time, and you cannot imagine your boyfriend being head over heels from day one.
You should remember that you are new to this and just starting a relationship. It is okay to be on cloud nine. However, if the question, “How to have a good relationship?” lingers in your mind, you must know that it’s all about taking things slow, one thing at a time.
- Don’t mention fears prematurely
At the beginning of a relationship, you and your partner are still getting comfortable with each other. Therefore, one of the crucial new relationship dos and don’ts include not mentioning your fears prematurely.
Allow your partner the chance to discover your fears and limitations gradually. Mentioning things at the get-go can make them feel intimidated and overwhelmed.
You can mention your fears when they become relevant to the equation you share with them.
- Enjoy moments
One of the big dos and don’ts in a new relationship is enjoying the present moment.
Don’t let your past experiences and concerns about the future take away the sheen of the exciting present you are sharing with your partner.
The best part of a new relationship is often the excitement and fun that you can have with someone. The chemistry between you two should be your focus, not the stress and anxiety about the past and present.
- Communicate effectively
Entering a new relationship can seem daunting as it often involves opening up to someone and sharing your life with them. However, this can be a cakewalk if you let clear communication guide you through this process.
Treat effective communication as one of the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship. It can make or break a relationship depending on whether you do it honestly, respectfully and openly.
5 healthy boundaries every relationship needs this season
Every relationship needs healthy boundaries.
Topics such as the boundaries you wish to have can save you from heartbreak down the road.
These are simple dos and donts that you expect your partner to abide by. They could be as simple as how you expect them to communicate to whether or not your relationship is exclusive.
Setting boundaries can determine the success or failure of your relationship.
Even as you enjoy the butterflies that materialize in your stomach at the sight of your new partner, consider talking about the following:
- Communication style
This is very important information to give your partner. Tell them whether you like them to call or text, how often you need to hear from them, which pet names you like and which you don’t, etc. This will ensure that nobody gets offended when their communication preferences aren’t met.
In the same vein, talk about if and how you will address your relationship on social media. Some people are comfortable bearing it all online while others would like to keep it off social media.
- What to do during conflict
Disagreements are inevitable and so, you need to know whether your partner needs time alone when they’re angry or they prefer to hash out your disagreement there and then. Communicate this clearly, preferably before you have your first fight, so that you know what is expected of you.
- The type of commitment you want
To avoid any misunderstandings, clearly state what you expect as far as your relationship is concerned. Will you be exclusive or would you like an open relationship?
As you talk about commitment remember that you can’t change your partner. Even if you’ve clicked and you want different things from the relationship, it won’t end well. Be strong enough to let go if your expectations as far as commitment is concerned.
It’s very important to set sexual boundaries. Tell your partner what you like and don’t like in the bedroom, how often you’re comfortable having sex, what level of intimacy you like on a first date or in public and when you’re alone, etc. Do you mind holding hands while you’re out and about? Are you a chronic hugger?
A partner who won’t respect these boundaries or tries to coerce you to break them even when you try to remain adamant risks becoming abusive. This is a relationship red flag and you need to run.
- Personal space
Tell your partner when you need personal space and what you require from them during this time. Do you need a few minutes alone when you wake up in the morning or do you like some quiet time when you come in from work?
Here’s just one of the examples on boundaries you should set early on in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel your partner is crossing your boundaries and making you uncomfortable. And remember, some boundaries can be negotiated such that you’re both happy and on the same page.
4 best tips to avoid getting pregnant during s*x
There are many ways to avoid pregnancy if you are having active sex.
Sperm can live inside your uterus for up to 5 days after having sex, and pregnancy can only occur if there is sperm in your uterus or fallopian tubes when you ovulate.
You have many tools to prevent pregnancy. Birth control options are plentiful, but some work better than others. The key is to make sure you’re using them the right way.
Here’s what you can do:
- You’re on birth control
Hormonal birth control methods such as the pill, patch, ring, implant, shot, or IUD significantly decrease your chances of getting pregnant, but they don’t eliminate your chances.
These experts say methods work in various ways. For example, IUDs block sperm from reaching the egg, while the pill, ring, and patch prevent ovulation.
- You’re on your period
While it’s not impossible to get pregnant while on your period, your chances are pretty slim.
Your lowest chance of getting pregnant while on your period is during the first day of bleeding. But the chances increase with each passing day as you get closer to your ovulation window. If your typical menstrual cycle is close to the average 28- to 30-day cycle, then the likelihood of getting pregnant while on your period is low. But if your cycle is shorter, your chances of getting pregnant while on your period go up.
- You use the ‘pull-out’ method
The pull-out method may be the world’s oldest form of birth control.
The pull-out method, also known as withdrawal, involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation.
While some studies have found that withdrawal can be as high as 96% effective with perfect use, it isn’t easy to maintain perfect use with this method.
- You use a condom
When using a condom to avoid pregnancy (or sexually transmitted infections, for that matter), it’s vital to use it correctly. Correct usage means the condom is rolled onto the penis (or inserted into the vagina in the case of internal or female condoms) before there’s any contact between genitals and skin.
According to research, the chance of getting pregnant with male condoms is about 18%, and with female condoms, it’s 21%. With perfect condom use every single time, those odds decrease to 2%.
Some nursing parents use the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM) or “breastfeeding method” to prevent pregnancy after giving birth. LAM as a form of birth control relies on the temporary pause in ovulation that often accompanies breastfeeding in the first several months postpartum.
While breastfeeding, the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for getting your period each month, is suppressed experts say, hence, preventing pregnancy.
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