Am I wrong as a married man to expect these things from my wife?

couple quarreling with each other young couple sitting on sofa quarreling with each other stock photography csp36328307 jpg

I’m looking for some advice for my wife. I adore her. We’ve been married for eight years and have two children. I am a government employee. She sells bowls and other plastic items near our home. It’s our own establishment. When our firstborn, our daughter, was born, I hired someone to assist with sales at the shop because she was always complaining that when I left for work, she was the only one at home and she needed help, so I hired the lady to assist her. My wife would leave the shop and everything for the lady and go inside to watch TV until I returned home. The girl was helping her with housework and even cooking. My food will be ready when I get home from work, and all this time I thought my wife was the one cooking, not realizing it was the girl. I didn’t know because the girl closes work at 6 p.m. and leaves before I get home.

I found out later when she asked for a raise because the job description I gave her was inadequate for what she was doing. My wife was healthy throughout both of her pregnancies. She was fit and active until she gave birth. I wasn’t also forcing her to do any strenuous work. It wasn’t necessary for her to sweep the compound every day. There was no need because we were the only ones in the house. Despite this, she became sluggish every year after her first pregnancy. When I asked her about the lady’s complaint to me about doing housework in addition to selling at the store, she said she was exaggerating. To keep the peace, I increased the lady’s salary, and everything was fine. When my wifey became pregnant with our second child, a boy, my laziness worsened. She hadn’t even gotten out of bed to open the shop when the girl arrived. This was even before she began to show.

I assumed it was due to pregnancy hormones and would pass, but my wife has become sluggish. Very sluggish. I’m sorry for admitting it, but I have to. When she gets out of bed, she watches either Netflix or DSTV. The lady opens the shop and takes care of everything. I’ve begged my wife to at least sit in the shop and make sure she handles the payments. We can’t put our trust in anyone these days. She never does it. I get out of bed, call the kids, and get them ready for school. She never does it. She occasionally calls to say she won’t be able to cook this evening and that I should pick up some groceries on my way home. Meanwhile, there are enough ingredients for cooking in the fridge. She no longer goes to the market. She asks her younger sister to stop by our house on her way to the market so she can add ours.

I was furious with my wife somewhere last month. She taught our 7-year-old daughter how to use the washing machine, and she washed my clothes and boxers. As a result of my wife’s attitude. I separated my boxers and singlets and was doing my own laundry before going to work on Friday morning. She has now added her own clothes. Our daughter does all of her laundry, including her underwear. I asked her why she insisted on doing nothing, and she said I should just hire a maid, despite the fact that she is my wife, not my maid. My daughter has been sweeping the house on Saturdays. The compound is large, and I have told her to stop. Because of all of this, I became enraged and cancelled our DSTV and Netflix subscriptions last month. I did not renew both subscriptions. I also did not purchase credit for our wifi. My wife became enraged with me and spent the entire day yelling and insulting me.

Please, family, make a decision for me. Is it wrong for me to expect these things from my wife as a married man? A woman who has agreed to spend the rest of our lives with me? I assumed it would be second nature to her, especially since she is at home, to cook, do laundry, and keep the house tidy. I’m doing my best to provide for my family. What can I do to persuade her to act? I handle all of our financial matters. The store is not making a lot of money. Even so, I’m not suggesting she do any serious work. I simply expect her to take care of the house and make it a peaceful place for me to return to. Am I making a mistake? What should I do in this situation?

Source: Anonymous Confessions