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Dear God, What is wrong with being a good woman to the men in my life?

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I started going out with K after a series of painful heartbreaks. He was a colleague at work and an acquaintance. Sometime during a long chat, I told him about my past experiences with men. I had bottled so much pain in my heart and I needed to talk to someone. The day I told him about all my heartbreaks, the most painful of which was with my baby daddy, something shifted in our friendship. Some kind of bond was created and we became closer than before. We spent a lot of time together, and I found his company enjoyable. On 24th May 2019, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I liked him but I didn’t want to ruin our beautiful friendship by getting into a relationship with him.

I explained my concerns to him, “I haven’t had a friend in a long time so this friendship means so much to me. If we try a relationship and it doesn’t work out, I’ll lose a friend forever.” I remember exactly what he said in response; “Maame, I know all the painful experiences you’ve been through. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is hurt you again. I swear on my d**k.” I laughed so loud when he said the last sentence. “So you are sure about this?” I asked. “Yes. You are very respectful, and I like the way you always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ I want to be with you and I am not coming to do trial and error. I mean business.” So I said him. Before I walk you through, my experience with yes to K, allow me to take you through my experience with the others before him.

My first relationship was with Mike. I was twenty two and he was a little older. We were so in love and I believed that he was the man I was going to end up with. In the fifth year of our relationship, he discussed a business idea with me. It was a foolproof plan and the only thing he needed to make it happen was funding. He told me, “Why don’t you give me a loan? I promise to pay you back when the business picks up.” I replied, “That’s a lot of money. I don’t have. Which other way can I support you?” He suggested that I should take a loan from the bank on his behalf; “You earn good money. The bank will easily give you a loan when they see your credit.”

As I said, I was sure Mike was the one. Plus we had been together for five years and everything was good between us. There was no reason to doubt him. So I took the loan for him and I bought him a container with my money to show him that I believed in him. Immediately after Mike got his hands on the money, he dumped me. As I was trying to understand where I went wrong, he started displaying his relationship with a lady he had introduced to me as his cousin. I had to pay off that loan by myself.

I stayed away from men and relationships after what Mike did. I enjoyed spending time with myself and the freedom that came with being single. However, things changed a year later when I met my baby daddy on campus while we were both furthering our education. I believed he was genuine so I gave him a chance. When we were together, he often complained about money because he wasn’t earning enough as a pupils teacher. He didn’t have any external support too. I was touched by his situation and paid his school fees for two semesters. While I was paying my own school fees too. This guy never offered to pay for my transportation when I visited him. I was the only giver in the relationship but I never complained.

A year into our relationship, I got pregnant. When I told him about it he snapped. That day revealed a lot more about him than I ever knew the entire time we were together. He told me, “You know that I don’t have money so don’t expect me to take care of the child if you decide to keep it.” His message was not direct but it was clear. He was telling me to either get rid of it or keep it at my own cost. I chose to keep the baby and that was the end of our relationship.

After delivery and healing, I met someone named Kwame. He seemed serious at first but after a few months of dating, he ghosted me. Up to date, I don’t know what I did to scare him off. After him, I got close to K. After everything I went through, his assurance meant a lot to me. Especially when he told me he liked me because I was respectful.

Unfortunately, six months into our relationship, I was laid off from work. I didn’t want him to feel that he was financially obligated to cater to me so I went out of my way to contribute financially to the relationship. I was depending on a monthly allowance my father started giving me after I lost my job. It wasn’t much but I made sure I cooked for K all the time. Sometimes he would be at work and I’d send him a bowl of a home-cooked meal for lunch. He knew I was unemployed but he never asked, “Babe, where do you get the money to do all these things?” Or “How are you surviving in this economy without a job?”

One day he was with me when my dad called to ask if I had received the money he sent me. Since then, K started finding subtle ways to spend more of my money. If I asked to see him, he would say, “I want to see you too but I don’t have money to transport myself.” I will then order Uber for him. Sometimes he would tell me he was broke and I would divide my money and groceries in two and give him half of it. K took everything I gave without a care for my unemployed status.

This went on for over a year but I was not bothered because I was happy to help someone I loved.

Somewhere in November last year, K broke up with me without any meaningful reason. We were together for two years and it all came down to nothing. He said the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me but he did exactly that.

I have cried and asked God questions because I don’t understand why men keep walking in and out of my life after I have offered them everything I could. I know that I am not perfect but I am also not a bad person. I always do things to make my partners happy but it’s never enough to make them stay. My heart breaks whenever I look back at the sacrifices I made that were never appreciated. I’m here asking, “So dear God, Is it wrong of me to be supportive? What is wrong with being a good woman to the men in my life?

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Woman confesses that her spouse always defecates in bed as he’s ready to ‘cum’

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"I've been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed. "We've tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it's too sweet and he can't contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex. "But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse."

A Ghanaian lady who is married to a “loving and responsible husband” is looking for help dealing with what she describes as “disgusting” sexual encounters with her spouse.

The married woman with two children has said that her husband always defecates in bed when he is at his height of ecstasy during sex.

Revealing her traumatic situation to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3, she stated that she is considering quitting her eleven-month marriage because she cannot bear it any longer.

“I’ve been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed.

“We’ve tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it’s too sweet and he can’t contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex.

“But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because, despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse,” she narrated.

According to her, the situation is impacting her mental health because all attempts to settle her issue have failed.

“I’m going through a lot because it makes me puke; mentally, I’m breaking down. I’m not sure whether to quit the marriage because we currently have two children. I tried every possible solution to the problem, but nothing worked,” she said.

She is presently seeking assistance to deal with the circumstance, as the problem is harming her mental health.

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I prefer to masturbate than have sex with my husband – Lady shares ordeal

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She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend. "Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand," she said Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

A Ghanaian woman has expressed her sexual discontent with her spouse.

The lady, whose identity has been kept hidden, told Confessions on TV3 that her spouse never stays in bed for more than two minutes.

She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend.

“Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand,” she said to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

Meanwhile, Life Coach Ebenezer Quaye, a guest on the show, encouraged lovers to share feedback to each other after participating in physical intimacy with their loved ones.

This, he argued, will inspire spouses to work on their sexual deficiencies.

“If you are having sex and do not receive feedback from your wife, there is a problem.” Wives should also provide feedback to their spouses. “It’s so nice and encouraging,” he commented.

He also gave some strategies for improving sexual shortcomings between lovers.

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How my husband sex trafficked me for 13 years

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When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party. "It's going to be fun." She said. "Sure. "I would love to." I didn't have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone's attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

I learned that life was unfair at an early age, and in the worst way conceivable. My stepfather used to sexually assault me, and when I eventually had the bravery to denounce him, he received only three months of treatment as punishment and was allowed to live with me again.

My mother brought him back for financial reasons, but she kept us apart. They slept below, while we slept above. Nevertheless, I was traumatised and lived in terror. As if I hadn’t gone through enough pain, I met a man who I believed loved me and who sex trafficked me.

When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party.

“It’s going to be fun.” She said.

“Sure. “I would love to.”

I didn’t have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone’s attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

“Hello, Greg. I invite you to meet my buddy Wendy. “Wendy, this is Greg.” She spoke to the guy.

Greg turned to me, smiled, and extended his hand before saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

At that point, my knees were weak. My heart began beating, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Can I get your number?” He asked.

“Sure,” I responded and handed it to him.

I didn’t expect him to call, but later that night he did, and we spoke for hours. That was the start of a relationship that led to my being sex trafficked.

Greg understood how to make me feel appreciated, which is all I wanted. We became amorous quickly, and I fell pregnant soon after. I had been under my mother’s care since I was 17 years old when I had my child. Greg demanded that I leave my mother’s house so that we could make our relationship work.

“How am I going to do that?” I asked.

“I’ve got a plan. You may relocate to a shelter, where they will consider you emancipated from your parents, and then you will be eligible for welfare checks, and we will be able to get an apartment and live happily ever after.” He explained.

At the time, it seemed like a fairy tale, and I was all in. I ran away from home, and Greg took me and my kid to a shelter. However, life at the shelter was not as easy as Greg made it appear.

It took long for me to receive my first welfare check, and I was running out of baby goods. So I contacted Greg and told him I needed money to take care of our child.

“Don’t worry, I have a job for us to do.” He said.

I assumed he meant cleaning people’s homes because that’s what he told me he did for money. So I picked up my kid and went to see him.

“What are we going to do?” I asked Greg.

“Well, you’re going to walk up this street, wait on that corner for a man to pick you up and you’ll have sex with that man in his car and he’ll pay you.” He explained without emotion.

I was perplexed and apprehensive, but he kept bringing up my daughter and insisting that if I loved her, I would do it. I felt like I had no option. My knees and hands shook as I proceeded to where he had instructed me to stand. As soon as I arrived, a car stopped in front of me, and the driver requested me to get in. That’s how my spouse started sex trafficking me.

“I know a place we can go in the woods.” He said.

I did not say anything. When we arrived in the woods, we both exited and walked to a private location where he began removing his clothing. I took off mine, we had sex, and he gave me the money before driving me back to where he had picked me up.

When I came out, I went to Greg, who was still standing in the same location and handed him all of the money.

“I love you.” I knew I had made the proper decision in choosing you as my wife. He said.

We went to purchase diapers and formula for the baby and had a little extra. However, a week later, we were out of diapers again.

That time, he encouraged me to take on two or three customers so that I might earn enough money to leave the shelter.

“Do you want your daughter to live in a shelter for the rest of her life?” He asked.

From there, he started one of the greatest prostitution networks in the region. It comprised four to ten females from various states. He sexually trafficked me for 13 years while I was still married to him. It varied from once a week to every other day, depending on how much money he received from the other females. I worked as a street girl, and escort, and made house calls. Not to add that I have two more children with him.

People continually questioned me why I stayed with him for so long, but no matter what I told them, they couldn’t comprehend what I was going through. Greg hooked us to drugs and physically abused us if we attempted to escape. He would also send the other girls to find any girl who had gone and beat her until she returned. I felt bonded to the other females since we weren’t permitted to have outside contact. So, anytime I managed to flee, I felt horrible and returned because I didn’t want them to suffer.

After 13 years, I was finally free of Greg. I had recently given birth and was in the kitchen making supper for us when I noticed police cruisers outside our house. The cops swooped in, arrested Greg, and detained me for interrogation.

However, I refused to talk to them because I was afraid Greg would beat me if he found out. Because I did not comply, they accused me of sex trafficking and sentenced me to 23 months in prison. Greg was also charged with sex trafficking and was sentenced to ten years in jail.

My children were removed while I was in prison, and because the judge in the custody case felt I was a sex trafficker, she promised that I would not be granted custody of my children. When I got out, I returned to school and earned an associate’s degree. In addition, I returned to the same judge who heard my custody case to request custody of my kid. I went with my attorneys, counsellors, and even the police officers who detained me to explain my situation to the court.

She returned my child to me, and I returned home to live with my mother, who sadly died later. Today, I feel comfortable and satisfied, which is a wonderful place to be. I’ve realised that there are individuals eager to help those who have faced the same hardships that I have, and if you’re going through anything similar, you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence.

This narrative is based on the Unfiltered Stories YouTube video.

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