Relationship
Don’t believe the hype: All my threesome experiences ended in trouble

Threesomes; having s*x with more than one sexual partner at a time, is something that a lot of people fantasize about. In fact, if you ask most people what their number one sexual fantasy or kink is, I’m sure threesome will feature in almost everybody’s list.
I am one of such people, but all my experiences have taught me a very terrible lesson – Never share your sexual partner with anyone. I have had 3 threesome experiences or arrangements and every single one of them landed me trouble. The very first one was with my very first boyfriend.
We were both young at the time and willing to explore and have fun. It was he who first suggested that we should try a threesome. He even already had one of my friends in mind who he wanted me to invite into the fold. That should have given me a hint, but I guess I was young and naïve at the time.
So I went ahead and convinced my best friend to come join me and my boyfriend in the bedroom. She was single at the time, so it wasn’t a problem. In retrospect, it is surprising how easy it was to convince her and how quickly she agreed. But we were both open minded people and very close, so I didn’t think anything about it. We were room mates sharing the same hostel in the university, so it wasn’t complicated to arrange. She already knew my boyfriend who had visited me at the hostel on several occasions, so no introduction was necessary. The first encounter was okay I guess, but I think he definitely enjoyed more than either of us. He came over to spend the night at our hostel and took turns being with both of us. We just spent the entire night talking and having fun. After that day, we had 2 other encounters, the first one at our hostel once again and the second time, we went to his house.
However, after that third encounter, I started to observe something weird. My bestfriend would make mention of things my boyfriend had said, which I don’t remember him saying. Meaning that they were now in regular communication with each other. I would sometimes come to meet her on the phone with him or see that she was texting him. When I spoke to him about it, he laughed it off and said that it was nothing. After all, what was wrong with him being friends with my room mate? I believed him and thought nothing of it again, until I paid a surprise visit to his house one Sunday morning, months later and caught her there. She said it was just a friendly visit and nothing had happened. However, she had left the hostel on Friday and told me she was visiting her family back home. My boyfriend admitted to sleeping with her behind my back but said it wasn’t a big deal because we have all slept together and what difference did it make if it was just the two of them?
I was hurt and angry and wasn’t having any of it this time. I broke up with him. That was my first threesome experience and it ended horribly. I lost my boyfriend, my best friend and had to find another hostel to live in due to the awkwardness that came after. But that didn’t stop me from trying again. Truth be told, I actually liked the experience, I just didn’t like the situation it led to. So in my next relationship, I was the one who actually suggested it to my boyfriend. He loved the idea. In fact, he said he wanted to suggest the same thing but didn’t know how to tell me. This time he had to go find the third wheel himself, because I wasn’t ready to lose another best friend. He asked one of his besties to join us and she agreed. I knew her and she was cool. So we went ahead and did our things together. However, I would discover later on that they were more than just best friends. In fact, they had been dating for 2 years before I met him. I was the side chick in the relationship without knowing it. And thus ended my second experience.
Third time they say is a charm. In my next relationship, I set so many boundaries. No threesomes with friends ..not with my friends and definitely not with his friends, strangers only. And to make sure he didn’t catch feelings or fall for our partner, we decided to try it with different girls. … and he was okay with it. On a few occasions, we tried 2-males one-female threesome, where he invited other guys to join us. The relationship was really cool and we both enjoyed and had fun. None of us got emotionally involved or attached with any of our sexual partners. Everything was okay, until we got into an argument one day. While angry, he called me a good-for-nothing girl and said he was only using me because I was cheap and would dump me when he finds someone else. He would later apologize after the fight and say he didn’t mean it, but his words stuck with me and we broke up not long after.
That was my third threesome experience. There isn’t going to be a fourth. From my experience, threesomes just aren’t destined to be…something will always go wrong. One person will end up cheating, one person will feel betrayed or one person will just end up being used by the other while he looks around for a “serious” girlfriend. Lesson well learnt.
Relationship
How to start a new relationship: 6 tips to make it work this year

Starting a new relationship can be quite tricky yet exciting at the same time.
You will be excited at the prospect of someone loving you and caring for you, taking time for you.
The start of a relationship might probably be the best time of your life as you are starting a new relationship. However, as excited as you might be, it is crucial to know what to do in a new relationship and what not to do in a new relationship.
How to make it work
If you understand the dos and don’ts of new relationships, it will be easier for you to move forward and form a healthy relationship with your partner.
It would help if you respected each other’s independence and choices. Although it is alright to keep in touch, be aware of each other’s whereabouts, and communicate, continuously pinging each other can also suffocate at times.
It is just that how to start a relationship can be quite complicated and tricky and requires lots of effort. Once you get used to it and know about your partner, it is easier to form a healthy relationship.
Dos and don’ts for a new relationship can help you stop second-guessing yourself. It gives you a vague blueprint about what needs to be done, and it can enhance your bond further.
- Have realistic expectations
For a relationship to work, it is essential to be emotionally and mentally strong. You also have to be compromising and understanding. It’s not necessary that what you want in a relationship is the same as what your partner wants. So, be realistic about situations.
You can both have different thoughts and opinions, like how often you should text in a new relationship. While one person could enjoy the attention, the other appreciates space. So, it is crucial to find a middle ground.
- Show love and affection to your partner
You might have made a new boyfriend. And now you must be thinking about starting a new relationship with a man you’ve just developed feelings for.
You must first remember to show love and affection to your partner to strengthen the bond between you both. You must give attention and time to your partner and make eye contact with him.
- Don’t start talking about the future prematurely
When you start a new relationship, bombarding your partner with questions and plans for the future is not how relationships work. There is a big chance that you can put your partner off.
Every relationship requires time, and you cannot imagine your boyfriend being head over heels from day one.
You should remember that you are new to this and just starting a relationship. It is okay to be on cloud nine. However, if the question, “How to have a good relationship?” lingers in your mind, you must know that it’s all about taking things slow, one thing at a time.
- Don’t mention fears prematurely
At the beginning of a relationship, you and your partner are still getting comfortable with each other. Therefore, one of the crucial new relationship dos and don’ts include not mentioning your fears prematurely.
Allow your partner the chance to discover your fears and limitations gradually. Mentioning things at the get-go can make them feel intimidated and overwhelmed.
You can mention your fears when they become relevant to the equation you share with them.
- Enjoy moments
One of the big dos and don’ts in a new relationship is enjoying the present moment.
Don’t let your past experiences and concerns about the future take away the sheen of the exciting present you are sharing with your partner.
The best part of a new relationship is often the excitement and fun that you can have with someone. The chemistry between you two should be your focus, not the stress and anxiety about the past and present.
- Communicate effectively
Entering a new relationship can seem daunting as it often involves opening up to someone and sharing your life with them. However, this can be a cakewalk if you let clear communication guide you through this process.
Treat effective communication as one of the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship. It can make or break a relationship depending on whether you do it honestly, respectfully and openly.
Source:pulse.com
Relationship
5 healthy boundaries every relationship needs this season

Every relationship needs healthy boundaries.
Topics such as the boundaries you wish to have can save you from heartbreak down the road.
These are simple dos and donts that you expect your partner to abide by. They could be as simple as how you expect them to communicate to whether or not your relationship is exclusive.
Setting boundaries can determine the success or failure of your relationship.
Even as you enjoy the butterflies that materialize in your stomach at the sight of your new partner, consider talking about the following:
- Communication style
This is very important information to give your partner. Tell them whether you like them to call or text, how often you need to hear from them, which pet names you like and which you don’t, etc. This will ensure that nobody gets offended when their communication preferences aren’t met.
In the same vein, talk about if and how you will address your relationship on social media. Some people are comfortable bearing it all online while others would like to keep it off social media.
- What to do during conflict
Disagreements are inevitable and so, you need to know whether your partner needs time alone when they’re angry or they prefer to hash out your disagreement there and then. Communicate this clearly, preferably before you have your first fight, so that you know what is expected of you.
- The type of commitment you want
To avoid any misunderstandings, clearly state what you expect as far as your relationship is concerned. Will you be exclusive or would you like an open relationship?
As you talk about commitment remember that you can’t change your partner. Even if you’ve clicked and you want different things from the relationship, it won’t end well. Be strong enough to let go if your expectations as far as commitment is concerned.
- Intimacy
It’s very important to set sexual boundaries. Tell your partner what you like and don’t like in the bedroom, how often you’re comfortable having sex, what level of intimacy you like on a first date or in public and when you’re alone, etc. Do you mind holding hands while you’re out and about? Are you a chronic hugger?
A partner who won’t respect these boundaries or tries to coerce you to break them even when you try to remain adamant risks becoming abusive. This is a relationship red flag and you need to run.
- Personal space
Tell your partner when you need personal space and what you require from them during this time. Do you need a few minutes alone when you wake up in the morning or do you like some quiet time when you come in from work?
Here’s just one of the examples on boundaries you should set early on in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel your partner is crossing your boundaries and making you uncomfortable. And remember, some boundaries can be negotiated such that you’re both happy and on the same page.
Source:pulse.com
Relationship
4 best tips to avoid getting pregnant during s*x

There are many ways to avoid pregnancy if you are having active sex.
Sperm can live inside your uterus for up to 5 days after having sex, and pregnancy can only occur if there is sperm in your uterus or fallopian tubes when you ovulate.
You have many tools to prevent pregnancy. Birth control options are plentiful, but some work better than others. The key is to make sure you’re using them the right way.
Here’s what you can do:
- You’re on birth control
Hormonal birth control methods such as the pill, patch, ring, implant, shot, or IUD significantly decrease your chances of getting pregnant, but they don’t eliminate your chances.
These experts say methods work in various ways. For example, IUDs block sperm from reaching the egg, while the pill, ring, and patch prevent ovulation.
- You’re on your period
While it’s not impossible to get pregnant while on your period, your chances are pretty slim.
Your lowest chance of getting pregnant while on your period is during the first day of bleeding. But the chances increase with each passing day as you get closer to your ovulation window. If your typical menstrual cycle is close to the average 28- to 30-day cycle, then the likelihood of getting pregnant while on your period is low. But if your cycle is shorter, your chances of getting pregnant while on your period go up.
- You use the ‘pull-out’ method
The pull-out method may be the world’s oldest form of birth control.
The pull-out method, also known as withdrawal, involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation.
While some studies have found that withdrawal can be as high as 96% effective with perfect use, it isn’t easy to maintain perfect use with this method.
- You use a condom
When using a condom to avoid pregnancy (or sexually transmitted infections, for that matter), it’s vital to use it correctly. Correct usage means the condom is rolled onto the penis (or inserted into the vagina in the case of internal or female condoms) before there’s any contact between genitals and skin.
According to research, the chance of getting pregnant with male condoms is about 18%, and with female condoms, it’s 21%. With perfect condom use every single time, those odds decrease to 2%.
Some nursing parents use the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM) or “breastfeeding method” to prevent pregnancy after giving birth. LAM as a form of birth control relies on the temporary pause in ovulation that often accompanies breastfeeding in the first several months postpartum.
While breastfeeding, the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for getting your period each month, is suppressed experts say, hence, preventing pregnancy.
Source:pulse.com
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