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He’s Asking For A Divorce Yet Goes Around Telling Everyone That I’m The One Seeking A Divorce

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black couple having discussion home relationship crisis

“Marry me.” 

That’s how he proposed. It wasn’t a question. It sounded like a command—a command I was willing to freely follow. Our love was new so everything he did please me. He was the man I wanted to marry. But instead of giving him a straight answer, I decided to mess with him a little bit. “Answer this first,” I said. “On a scale of one to ten, how much do you love me?” His gruff voice answered, “My love for you cannot fit onto a scale.” I giggled at his response, “Smart answer!” “Now are you going to say yes to my proposal?” My man demanded. I laughed at his impatience; “Patience my dear, you know you are the only man for me. Of course, I will marry you.” At this, his face broke out into a wide smile as he scooped me up into his arms and claimed my lips in a searing kiss. At that moment I thought; “If our love remains this strong, we will indeed live happily ever after.”

 Robert and I had been together for quite some time. He always had a gruff approach to life. This made him appear to many people as rude. But the people who are close to him understand that he is just a no-nonsense person. He tells things as they are and he gets upset when he doesn’t get his way. I was convinced that I had figured him out. I knew what made him tick and what made him melt. I had faith that our love would make our marriage a peaceful one. 

Not too long after his proposal, we got married. That day was one of the happiest days of my life. Everything was beautiful. I smiled so much my cheeks hurt. Today, when I look at our wedding photos, I ask myself questions, questions like, “What happened?” “Where did the love and happiness go?”

I cannot pinpoint exactly when things took a sour turn but I can think of all the signs I missed along the way. 

Before we got married I was running my own business. It was doing well and I had my own money. I wasn’t rich but I could take care of my needs without external support. And for me, that was a success. On our honeymoon, my husband casually asked me to stop working and be a housewife. My reaction was, “Where is this coming from? It wasn’t an issue before we got married? Why is it an issue now?” He replied, “Well, then let’s discuss it now. Before we got married, you had to work to survive. Now you have a husband, and it is my job to provide for you financially. So I’m asking you to allow me to do that. Allow me to be your husband.” I shook my head and said, “I won’t do that. I would like to be a wife who works to support her husband.”

Robert was relentless. He wanted me to concede by all means. “What are you going to do when we start having kids?” He asked me. “Who will take care of them while you’re busy running a business? I will give you time to think about it but I believe it’s the right thing to do.” 

He said he was going to give me time to think about it but he didn’t. Instead, he put a lot of pressure on me. He started nicely at first but he became hostile when I kept saying no. The peace in my marriage was threatened at its budding stage. I didn’t want us constantly fighting so I agreed to be a housewife. When we finally moved in together, my husband playfully said, “Sell your electrical gadgets to me.” I was confused. “We are living together now. What’s mine is yours so why do you want to buy my possessions?” His response was, “I want to buy them from you so that the day you leave, you will carry nothing from this house.”

“Ah, what is he saying?” 

Our marriage was not even a month old yet my husband was planning our divorce. I refused to sell my possessions to him but he didn’t let them rest. He is a man who insists on always having his way. This time, I wasn’t ready to budge. I stood my ground. “Dear Robert, I’m not selling them to you. We are one and one for all. What’s mine is automatically yours. You don’t need money to buy from me. You only have to take from me.” 

That was when the first crack in our marriage appeared.

As time went on, he started cheating on me. When I confront him, he turned around and accuse me of cheating. This happened when I was pregnant with our first child. I had seen evidence on his phone that he had a mistress. I asked him about it and he denied it. Then he said, “The only reason you are suspecting me of cheating is that you are the one cheating on me.” That day he took my phone and went through every chat, asking me questions. He continued reading my chats even after I went to sleep. I was heavily pregnant but this man woke me up in the middle of the night and showed me a chat and asked, “Are you sure you’re not sleeping with this person?” 

I got offended. I did not want to dignify his question with an answer so I kept quiet and tried to go back to sleep. He tapped me continuously and said, “You won’t mind me? How dare you ignore me when I’m talking to you?” Get down here. For your punishment, you’ll have to sleep on the floor.” I moved and slept on the floor without a protest. When he saw that I had fallen asleep, he woke me up again; “Go back to the bed. I will rather sleep on the floor.” 

I felt frustrated but I went back to bed. He did this to me throughout the rest of the pregnancy and even through my next pregnancy. 

There was a time he sacked me out of our room and brought in another woman. I had to go live in our uncompleted house with our two kids. There was no electricity, toilet, or bathroom. I used up whatever money I had saved from my business to complete it. My girls and I lived there until my husband got tired of his other woman and came home to us. After the building, I had no money left for myself. My husband only gave me just enough to cover food. I had to push money around before I am even able to afford sanitary pads. When I ask him to give me money for other things, he would make me feel like a burden and then ask for a divorce. 

I can’t afford to buy clothes and toys for our kids. One time I tried to get a job and he found out. He threatened to divorce me if I report to work. That’s how my marriage has been. He expects me to do his bidding. He wants me to be at his beck and call without protest. If I do anything that he hasn’t sanctioned, he would threaten me with a divorce. 

I try—I try everything possible to hold on to this marriage though it’s not serving me well. I do anything to make him happy. I endure verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and psychological abuse without complaints but he’s never satisfied. He would wake up in the morning, look at my face and say, “I don’t love you anymore. I want a divorce.” I would plead with him to allow us to work on getting back the love we once shared. 

While I plead with him to give us an opportunity to thrive, he would go around fishing for reasons to leave the marriage. Sometimes he would make mountain out of a molehill. Something that shouldn’t be an issue, he would make it a big issue. I would be in our room arranging things and he would walk in and switch off the light. I would have to stumble through the darkness to find my phone and use the torchlight. He behaves like a spoilt child yet I see him as my spoilt child so I bear with him. 

He insisted on divorce until one day I told him, “Great. Let’s do it. I’m sick and tired of everything. It looks like if I don’t accept to leave, you’ll never give me peace. I will leave. Just watch me.” 

He gave me three months to pack out of the house with our children. I am not financially stable and I don’t know how I will survive but I agreed to leave. I was exhausted from all the fighting I’d been doing since we got married. I’ve stopped paying attention to him and I’ve stopped performing my wifely duties. I take care of my kids’ needs and leave him out. I have started looking for accommodation even though I don’t know how I’ll pay for it. 

Now that he has realized that I don’t care about him anymore, he is going around telling people that I’m the one leaving the marriage. Our family and friends have called me to advise me; “Don’t break up your home. Forgive your husband and make things work.” “Where will you go with two children? Don’t walk out from what you can fix.” “There is no perfect man out there. Stay with Robert as he is.” He makes it look like I’m the devil who’s seeking to break the marriage by all means. 

When I confronted him about it he said, “Yes, you are the one breaking up our home. We had a little misunderstanding and you’ve decided to leave.” He sounded very certain to the point where I almost believed him. 

All I want right now is to move far away from him and everyone who knows us. He has turned them against me. I have tried to explain things to anyone I owe an explanation to but no one wants to listen to me. I know Robert will not change if I continue to stay with him. My problem now is the financial aspect of things. I have become so dependent on him that I have nothing for myself. Things will be very difficult for me and the kids if I insist on leaving. Because of this, I am torn between leaving and staying. I feel like I am drowning. Please I need your advice on what next to do. 

Source: Silent Beads

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to societywatch1@gmail.com

Relationship

Woman confesses that her spouse always defecates in bed as he’s ready to ‘cum’

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"I've been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed. "We've tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it's too sweet and he can't contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex. "But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse."

A Ghanaian lady who is married to a “loving and responsible husband” is looking for help dealing with what she describes as “disgusting” sexual encounters with her spouse.

The married woman with two children has said that her husband always defecates in bed when he is at his height of ecstasy during sex.

Revealing her traumatic situation to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3, she stated that she is considering quitting her eleven-month marriage because she cannot bear it any longer.

“I’ve been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed.

“We’ve tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it’s too sweet and he can’t contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex.

“But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because, despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse,” she narrated.

According to her, the situation is impacting her mental health because all attempts to settle her issue have failed.

“I’m going through a lot because it makes me puke; mentally, I’m breaking down. I’m not sure whether to quit the marriage because we currently have two children. I tried every possible solution to the problem, but nothing worked,” she said.

She is presently seeking assistance to deal with the circumstance, as the problem is harming her mental health.

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I prefer to masturbate than have sex with my husband – Lady shares ordeal

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She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend. "Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand," she said Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

A Ghanaian woman has expressed her sexual discontent with her spouse.

The lady, whose identity has been kept hidden, told Confessions on TV3 that her spouse never stays in bed for more than two minutes.

She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend.

“Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand,” she said to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

Meanwhile, Life Coach Ebenezer Quaye, a guest on the show, encouraged lovers to share feedback to each other after participating in physical intimacy with their loved ones.

This, he argued, will inspire spouses to work on their sexual deficiencies.

“If you are having sex and do not receive feedback from your wife, there is a problem.” Wives should also provide feedback to their spouses. “It’s so nice and encouraging,” he commented.

He also gave some strategies for improving sexual shortcomings between lovers.

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How my husband sex trafficked me for 13 years

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When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party. "It's going to be fun." She said. "Sure. "I would love to." I didn't have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone's attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

I learned that life was unfair at an early age, and in the worst way conceivable. My stepfather used to sexually assault me, and when I eventually had the bravery to denounce him, he received only three months of treatment as punishment and was allowed to live with me again.

My mother brought him back for financial reasons, but she kept us apart. They slept below, while we slept above. Nevertheless, I was traumatised and lived in terror. As if I hadn’t gone through enough pain, I met a man who I believed loved me and who sex trafficked me.

When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party.

“It’s going to be fun.” She said.

“Sure. “I would love to.”

I didn’t have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone’s attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

“Hello, Greg. I invite you to meet my buddy Wendy. “Wendy, this is Greg.” She spoke to the guy.

Greg turned to me, smiled, and extended his hand before saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

At that point, my knees were weak. My heart began beating, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Can I get your number?” He asked.

“Sure,” I responded and handed it to him.

I didn’t expect him to call, but later that night he did, and we spoke for hours. That was the start of a relationship that led to my being sex trafficked.

Greg understood how to make me feel appreciated, which is all I wanted. We became amorous quickly, and I fell pregnant soon after. I had been under my mother’s care since I was 17 years old when I had my child. Greg demanded that I leave my mother’s house so that we could make our relationship work.

“How am I going to do that?” I asked.

“I’ve got a plan. You may relocate to a shelter, where they will consider you emancipated from your parents, and then you will be eligible for welfare checks, and we will be able to get an apartment and live happily ever after.” He explained.

At the time, it seemed like a fairy tale, and I was all in. I ran away from home, and Greg took me and my kid to a shelter. However, life at the shelter was not as easy as Greg made it appear.

It took long for me to receive my first welfare check, and I was running out of baby goods. So I contacted Greg and told him I needed money to take care of our child.

“Don’t worry, I have a job for us to do.” He said.

I assumed he meant cleaning people’s homes because that’s what he told me he did for money. So I picked up my kid and went to see him.

“What are we going to do?” I asked Greg.

“Well, you’re going to walk up this street, wait on that corner for a man to pick you up and you’ll have sex with that man in his car and he’ll pay you.” He explained without emotion.

I was perplexed and apprehensive, but he kept bringing up my daughter and insisting that if I loved her, I would do it. I felt like I had no option. My knees and hands shook as I proceeded to where he had instructed me to stand. As soon as I arrived, a car stopped in front of me, and the driver requested me to get in. That’s how my spouse started sex trafficking me.

“I know a place we can go in the woods.” He said.

I did not say anything. When we arrived in the woods, we both exited and walked to a private location where he began removing his clothing. I took off mine, we had sex, and he gave me the money before driving me back to where he had picked me up.

When I came out, I went to Greg, who was still standing in the same location and handed him all of the money.

“I love you.” I knew I had made the proper decision in choosing you as my wife. He said.

We went to purchase diapers and formula for the baby and had a little extra. However, a week later, we were out of diapers again.

That time, he encouraged me to take on two or three customers so that I might earn enough money to leave the shelter.

“Do you want your daughter to live in a shelter for the rest of her life?” He asked.

From there, he started one of the greatest prostitution networks in the region. It comprised four to ten females from various states. He sexually trafficked me for 13 years while I was still married to him. It varied from once a week to every other day, depending on how much money he received from the other females. I worked as a street girl, and escort, and made house calls. Not to add that I have two more children with him.

People continually questioned me why I stayed with him for so long, but no matter what I told them, they couldn’t comprehend what I was going through. Greg hooked us to drugs and physically abused us if we attempted to escape. He would also send the other girls to find any girl who had gone and beat her until she returned. I felt bonded to the other females since we weren’t permitted to have outside contact. So, anytime I managed to flee, I felt horrible and returned because I didn’t want them to suffer.

After 13 years, I was finally free of Greg. I had recently given birth and was in the kitchen making supper for us when I noticed police cruisers outside our house. The cops swooped in, arrested Greg, and detained me for interrogation.

However, I refused to talk to them because I was afraid Greg would beat me if he found out. Because I did not comply, they accused me of sex trafficking and sentenced me to 23 months in prison. Greg was also charged with sex trafficking and was sentenced to ten years in jail.

My children were removed while I was in prison, and because the judge in the custody case felt I was a sex trafficker, she promised that I would not be granted custody of my children. When I got out, I returned to school and earned an associate’s degree. In addition, I returned to the same judge who heard my custody case to request custody of my kid. I went with my attorneys, counsellors, and even the police officers who detained me to explain my situation to the court.

She returned my child to me, and I returned home to live with my mother, who sadly died later. Today, I feel comfortable and satisfied, which is a wonderful place to be. I’ve realised that there are individuals eager to help those who have faced the same hardships that I have, and if you’re going through anything similar, you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence.

This narrative is based on the Unfiltered Stories YouTube video.

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