I was a naive 17-year-old girl who believed everything he told me when we first started dating. He was 21 years old and an apprentice car mechanic. He currently has his own fitting business with apprentices, as I speak. I have no regrets about being with him or having three children with him. What irritates me is his personality and how domineering his family is. He is quite peaceful and serene, and he constantly wishes for peace to rule. He despises confrontation so much that if we have to debate something, he will just advise us to settle it there and not bring it up again. He stays in a chamber and a hall with me. We also have the children with us. It’s his family’s home, and the restroom is on the property.
I’ve been with him for the past ten years. It began when I became pregnant with my first kid. He said he was the father and brought some schnapps to my family to apologize for impregnating me. That is all he has accomplished. I’ve been pleading with him to make it official and marry me, but he doesn’t get it. I have the impression that he already regards me as his wife. He doesn’t understand why we should make it official because everyone calls me his wife. My mum has also persuaded me to continue living with him. After having three children with him, there is no way I could abandon him for another woman. Where should I even begin? He is incredibly compassionate and takes excellent care of us.
I’m now learning to cook and will be finished shortly. Despite the fact that he hasn’t complained, I want to complete and work full-time to support him. We’re required to alternate who sweeps the complex and cleanses the toilet and bath at his family’s residence. My boyfriend, unfortunately, has three sisters. He is the sole male. We also share the house with roughly five of his relatives, who also live there with their families. My man’s parents are both running late. When it’s my turn to sweep the courtyard and scrub the restroom, I do it without complaint. My husband has even told me that I’m doing great with it. I can add that I and one of his cousin’s wives do a good job of sweeping the complex and cleaning the restroom. His sisters and relatives were meant to assist, but they quit long ago.
We (the other wife and I) used to be really vocal about it. It didn’t seem fair to us. There are two other spouses who are meant to assist us. One of them does not even work and yet she does nothing. We mentioned this issue one day, and it quickly escalated into a large argument in the family. I was the one who went to question the eldest sister about why it is just two of us who clean the washroom and compound while there are so many of us in the house. It’s quite frustrating to watch how some of them leave the toilet in a state of disarray. Please excuse my profanity. It’s terrible. Their offspring will destroy the property and then abandon it. They do not respect either. If you accidentally touch one of the children, you will be labelled a witch in the house.
So I summoned my bravery that day and informed the woman that it wasn’t fair. She is the house’s oldest resident, in her 60s. In terms of her, I don’t expect her to accomplish anything; I just see her as an elderly woman who will convene a conference and split the job properly, easing the pressure on some of us. She began criticizing me and using nasty comments against me. She and her sisters formed a group against me that day. Some of the cousins also showed up there. They stated it was a good thing their brother didn’t marry me since my days in the house were numbered.
One of them stated that he will never marry me as long as she is alive and that he will only consider me worthy of marriage once she, the sister, is deceased. This wounded me so much that I stopped greeting them. I ceased sweeping and cleaning the area. The other woman who was assisting me was having significant disagreements with her husband and had gone to her father’s place. She is yet to return as I speak. There is no tranquillity in the house. My man’s sisters came to our home one day to knock on the door and taunt me after I quit sweeping. Fortunately, my partner was present that day to see what I had been telling him all along. He advised me not to go outside. He walked out to talk to them, and they returned to their side. But they were running around yelling ‘kansantwi’ and performing various tunes all day to get my attention.
I’ve told my boyfriend several times that we should rent, and to be honest, even though I want us to leave the house, rent is expensive, and right now, after paying the children’s tuition, we don’t have much left over for other things. We are fortunate that his father bequeathed him this chamber and hall. It’s his portion, and we just pay a little amount. Please tell me how I may live with his sisters. He has instructed me to resume welcoming them. When I welcome them, only one responds. The others don’t seem to mind. Now that the other woman is gone, it is up to me to sweep the compound every day.
I’m not even concerned with the complex. I’m concerned about the bathroom and toilet. It is quite difficult for me. His sisters have now forbidden their children from playing with mine. The third sibling is expecting her sixth kid. They are not married, yet they have children with various guys. Despite this, they treat me as though I’ve done a crime. Please advise me on how to approach them so that I do not cause any additional difficulties. I’m doing my best. It’s as though they’re driving me to abandon him. But after 16 years of dating, he’s my spouse, and I’m not leaving. I keep getting the impression that his sisters have done something to make him refuse to marry me. They must be aware of something based on their demeanour.
Source: Anonymous Confessions
