I need guidance on how to proceed. I had a girl when I was 17 and never accepted responsibility. My family was also unhelpful. My mother was entirely behind me, and when I informed her the girl was lying, she didn’t question me more. I recall the two families being friends before the incident, but we stopped talking to each other after that. Despite the fact that we were all living our lives, I was keeping an eye on the girl, and I used to see my daughter in the vicinity, but I was too proud to come and ask for forgiveness so that I could care for my daughter. My mom avoided me as well. They eventually departed the region, and I hadn’t seen them in years, but thank goodness for social media. I came upon my baby mama’s Facebook profile and looked through her images till I spotted my kid. I had even seen her graduation photos.
Her name was tagged, so I proceeded to look at her photos, and there were several entries with her mother. She was often talking about her mother and how she had done well and endured a lot for her. I was devastated and wrote her a note. She didn’t respond, and I’m sure she didn’t notice. Because we weren’t friends, the message didn’t get to her inbox. I added her as a friend. I’ve never talked to her before. I’m unsure what her mother told her about her father, and I’m unsure if she knew who I was. I began conversing with her after she accepted the friend request. She was kind and asked me why I was conversing with her. I didn’t offer her a satisfactory response. Then she revealed that I am her biological father. She was aware. I gave her my phone number and we began conversing on the phone. Despite the fact that I was 25 years late, I wanted to be a part of her life and be her father again. She has not been rude to me, but she has also not allowed me to grow close to her.
Her mother is married to another guy and has children with him. Apart from her, I am not married and have no children. My kid thinks her stepfather is her father rather than me. The worst part is that she is getting married, and her stepfather will lead her down the aisle. I committed a mistake as a youngster that I now regret, and I’ve informed her about it multiple times. We got together to speak. I’ve also met their mother. They both stated that they had forgiven me and moved on, but they are not allowing me to get to know them well. Particularly my daughter. Even for her wedding, she gave me a standard invitation, so I’ll be there as a guest. I realize I made a mistake, but I was young and ignorant at the time. How can I acquire my daughter’s confidence? My prospective son-in-law has yet to be presented to me. My daughter is writing her stepfather’s name, indicating that he is completely assuming the role of her father. I told her I’d like her to write mine, but she said it wasn’t necessary because she used to write her mother’s maiden name until her mother married her stepfather and she had to change her name to her stepfather’s, so she doesn’t want to change her surname again and she was fine writing her stepfather’s name. She had used the same name throughout her education and did not want to go through the procedure of changing her name again.
She also stated that because she is getting married, her name would change again, eliminating the need for me to add my surname. I have nothing against the stepfather, but he is not my daughter’s actual father, and he also has children with my baby’s mom, so he should at least give me a shot with my daughter. My friends say I’ve been boring, and another man has taken over the fatherly position from me, and I simply chuckle about it as if it’s nothing, but it actually bothers me. What can I do to become closer to my daughter? I know I never contributed to her development, but it’s not too late for me to be a part of her life. I’m sorry I turned her down. Please don’t make the same mistake I did as a parent who abandoned his child. My daughter isn’t even aware of everything I’m trying to get closer to her. I’m at a loss for what to do.
Source: Anonymous Confessions
