Relationship
I Ruined Someone’s Marriage Using Ice Blocks And Tomtom

I’m not a very sexually active person as you may think after reading just the title of my headline. In fact for most of my adult life, I only dated one person.
At age 17, I entered into a relationship with a classmate around my age which lasted for about`6 years. After my relationship ended, I went into a kind of wild phase, where I did a lot of playing around and having fun.
I went out with multiple people, dated lots of people and just did things I wanted to do. My previous 6 year old relationship had really messed me up.
While dating him, I really thought he was the last person I would ever be with. We were planning to be together forever, to get married and have children together and everything.
After the relationship ended, I didn’t want to get into another serious relationship again, so I just played around with multiple boyfriends over some time.
However, I took some things from the first relationship into my next relationships, particularly my sexual prowess. My first boyfriend was very adventurous and taught me a lot of things. In fact, we learnt a lot of things together. We would often go online to learn new things to try.
One of the things we did most often whenever we were together is watching sexual positions on p0rn0graphic websites and then trying them out. One of the things I learnt to do, which is the subject of this article, has to do with Tomtom and ice blocks.
I won’t go into too much graphic details because of some of your young audience, but essentially, it is a type of oral sex where instead of just using your mouth on his private parts, you also use the popular Tomtom toffee and ice blocks. The Tomtom gives a nice feel and the ice blocks keep it cold and chilled.
Needless to say, there hasn’t been a single man I’ve done this with who didn’t love it. Some people just aren’t adventurous and don’t want to try it, but of everyone who gave me the chance, most of them said it was the best oral sex they had ever had in their love life.
One of these men was a married man who I worked in the same company with. I didn’t know he was married at the time. He was part of the team that interviewed me when I first applied to join the company and we took an instant likeness to each other when I begun working there.
Being new to the firm, I didn’t know anyone else but him, so we hit it off easily. We started by just going to lunch during work and chatting. Later on, we started talking more often and got much close and even became intimate.
Like I stated earlier, he absolutely loved my Tomtom and ice blocks technique and would request for it often. In fact, sometimes we met and wouldn’t do anything else but that.
He wouldn’t penetrate me or try anything else, he just wanted oral s*x till he reached ecstasy.
About 3 months into joining the firm, I would learn from colleagues that he was married with two children of his own. Apparently, news of our affair was already going around the office grapevine.
No one knew anything for sure, but I’m sure they just thought it weird that a married man and the new girl seemed to be so close and were spending so much time together.
When I became aware of his marital status, I confronted him about it and told him it was over between us. I wasn’t angry, truth be told, I wasn’t looking for anything serious myself.
However, married men are a no-no for me and bring so many complications and drama that I would rather not deal with.
When I broke the news to him, he was distraught and begged and explained himself. He said he really liked me and had wanted to be upfront with me in the beginning but feared that I would refuse his advances if I knew he was married.
I told him I understood him, but my answer remained the same nonetheless.
Then came the usual stories married men like to tell; “I wish I met you before my wife….I will divorce her for you….You’re the one I truly love, etc etc”.
I wasn’t buying it and was firm in my decision. I thought it was just another one of those things; a married man trying to hang onto a side chick. His next series of actions however would prove me wrong.
He told some of our coworkers about our relationship and asked them to come beg me on his behalf, none of which changed my mind. He would keep calling me at all times of the day and following me around to the extend that it got irritating.
And then the real shocker; he told his wife about me and told her that he wanted a divorce. I know this because she actually sought me out, got to know who I was thanks to our colleague and then confronted me to leave her husband alone.
I told her it was over between us and apologized for the whole affair, but she didn’t believe me. Apparently, he kept telling her their marriage was over. But that wasn’t even the shocking part of the whole thing…that came when I first saw her.
She was a really good looking woman with all the nice assets and figure that African men love. I don’t know much about her or what she does, but she was well spoken and sounded smart.
It just seemed so crazy to me that this man was willing to lose her over someone he had only known for a few months.
I told the husband of our confrontation and told him to stop his weird obsession before he got me into more trouble. How did he expect me to feel after bringing so much pain to another woman?
Most of her prayer points by now are probably just curses directed at me. I eventually had to resign from the company, as the whole thing became a controversy that almost everyone knew about.
He remained in the company however, and kept showing up at my house frequently asking for us to get back together. Eventually, when he realized that I wasn’t going to change my mind, he came up with a compromise and made me an offer; If I wanted, he wouldn’t divorce his wife and I can also date whoever I wanted.
He just wanted us to keep being intimate. Specifically, he wanted me to keep giving him oral sex. He said he would even give me a regular allowance if I wanted. I would have laughed in his face if the whole thing wasn’t very weird.
So that’s what this whole thing was about…just blowj*b using tomtom and ice blocks. Suddenly, his actions made sense to me. It wasn’t like I was the most beautiful lady he had ever met or that I treated him in a special way that he couldn’t get from anywhere else…it was just that one thing that made him so obsessed.
Currently, I am working on moving to a new house and changing my contact number to get away from him. I can’t imagine what his wife must be going through right now and I feel like I’m to blame for their messed up marriage.
This is my cautionary advise to married women: Experiment with your husband and find out what he likes, and then try to satisfy him in that manner. Some of them cheat because they have weird sexual preferences and fetishes that they can’t share with you.
Source: Anonymous Confessions
Relationship
How to start a new relationship: 6 tips to make it work this year

Starting a new relationship can be quite tricky yet exciting at the same time.
You will be excited at the prospect of someone loving you and caring for you, taking time for you.
The start of a relationship might probably be the best time of your life as you are starting a new relationship. However, as excited as you might be, it is crucial to know what to do in a new relationship and what not to do in a new relationship.
How to make it work
If you understand the dos and don’ts of new relationships, it will be easier for you to move forward and form a healthy relationship with your partner.
It would help if you respected each other’s independence and choices. Although it is alright to keep in touch, be aware of each other’s whereabouts, and communicate, continuously pinging each other can also suffocate at times.
It is just that how to start a relationship can be quite complicated and tricky and requires lots of effort. Once you get used to it and know about your partner, it is easier to form a healthy relationship.
Dos and don’ts for a new relationship can help you stop second-guessing yourself. It gives you a vague blueprint about what needs to be done, and it can enhance your bond further.
- Have realistic expectations
For a relationship to work, it is essential to be emotionally and mentally strong. You also have to be compromising and understanding. It’s not necessary that what you want in a relationship is the same as what your partner wants. So, be realistic about situations.
You can both have different thoughts and opinions, like how often you should text in a new relationship. While one person could enjoy the attention, the other appreciates space. So, it is crucial to find a middle ground.
- Show love and affection to your partner
You might have made a new boyfriend. And now you must be thinking about starting a new relationship with a man you’ve just developed feelings for.
You must first remember to show love and affection to your partner to strengthen the bond between you both. You must give attention and time to your partner and make eye contact with him.
- Don’t start talking about the future prematurely
When you start a new relationship, bombarding your partner with questions and plans for the future is not how relationships work. There is a big chance that you can put your partner off.
Every relationship requires time, and you cannot imagine your boyfriend being head over heels from day one.
You should remember that you are new to this and just starting a relationship. It is okay to be on cloud nine. However, if the question, “How to have a good relationship?” lingers in your mind, you must know that it’s all about taking things slow, one thing at a time.
- Don’t mention fears prematurely
At the beginning of a relationship, you and your partner are still getting comfortable with each other. Therefore, one of the crucial new relationship dos and don’ts include not mentioning your fears prematurely.
Allow your partner the chance to discover your fears and limitations gradually. Mentioning things at the get-go can make them feel intimidated and overwhelmed.
You can mention your fears when they become relevant to the equation you share with them.
- Enjoy moments
One of the big dos and don’ts in a new relationship is enjoying the present moment.
Don’t let your past experiences and concerns about the future take away the sheen of the exciting present you are sharing with your partner.
The best part of a new relationship is often the excitement and fun that you can have with someone. The chemistry between you two should be your focus, not the stress and anxiety about the past and present.
- Communicate effectively
Entering a new relationship can seem daunting as it often involves opening up to someone and sharing your life with them. However, this can be a cakewalk if you let clear communication guide you through this process.
Treat effective communication as one of the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship. It can make or break a relationship depending on whether you do it honestly, respectfully and openly.
Source:pulse.com
Relationship
5 healthy boundaries every relationship needs this season

Every relationship needs healthy boundaries.
Topics such as the boundaries you wish to have can save you from heartbreak down the road.
These are simple dos and donts that you expect your partner to abide by. They could be as simple as how you expect them to communicate to whether or not your relationship is exclusive.
Setting boundaries can determine the success or failure of your relationship.
Even as you enjoy the butterflies that materialize in your stomach at the sight of your new partner, consider talking about the following:
- Communication style
This is very important information to give your partner. Tell them whether you like them to call or text, how often you need to hear from them, which pet names you like and which you don’t, etc. This will ensure that nobody gets offended when their communication preferences aren’t met.
In the same vein, talk about if and how you will address your relationship on social media. Some people are comfortable bearing it all online while others would like to keep it off social media.
- What to do during conflict
Disagreements are inevitable and so, you need to know whether your partner needs time alone when they’re angry or they prefer to hash out your disagreement there and then. Communicate this clearly, preferably before you have your first fight, so that you know what is expected of you.
- The type of commitment you want
To avoid any misunderstandings, clearly state what you expect as far as your relationship is concerned. Will you be exclusive or would you like an open relationship?
As you talk about commitment remember that you can’t change your partner. Even if you’ve clicked and you want different things from the relationship, it won’t end well. Be strong enough to let go if your expectations as far as commitment is concerned.
- Intimacy
It’s very important to set sexual boundaries. Tell your partner what you like and don’t like in the bedroom, how often you’re comfortable having sex, what level of intimacy you like on a first date or in public and when you’re alone, etc. Do you mind holding hands while you’re out and about? Are you a chronic hugger?
A partner who won’t respect these boundaries or tries to coerce you to break them even when you try to remain adamant risks becoming abusive. This is a relationship red flag and you need to run.
- Personal space
Tell your partner when you need personal space and what you require from them during this time. Do you need a few minutes alone when you wake up in the morning or do you like some quiet time when you come in from work?
Here’s just one of the examples on boundaries you should set early on in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel your partner is crossing your boundaries and making you uncomfortable. And remember, some boundaries can be negotiated such that you’re both happy and on the same page.
Source:pulse.com
Relationship
4 best tips to avoid getting pregnant during s*x

There are many ways to avoid pregnancy if you are having active sex.
Sperm can live inside your uterus for up to 5 days after having sex, and pregnancy can only occur if there is sperm in your uterus or fallopian tubes when you ovulate.
You have many tools to prevent pregnancy. Birth control options are plentiful, but some work better than others. The key is to make sure you’re using them the right way.
Here’s what you can do:
- You’re on birth control
Hormonal birth control methods such as the pill, patch, ring, implant, shot, or IUD significantly decrease your chances of getting pregnant, but they don’t eliminate your chances.
These experts say methods work in various ways. For example, IUDs block sperm from reaching the egg, while the pill, ring, and patch prevent ovulation.
- You’re on your period
While it’s not impossible to get pregnant while on your period, your chances are pretty slim.
Your lowest chance of getting pregnant while on your period is during the first day of bleeding. But the chances increase with each passing day as you get closer to your ovulation window. If your typical menstrual cycle is close to the average 28- to 30-day cycle, then the likelihood of getting pregnant while on your period is low. But if your cycle is shorter, your chances of getting pregnant while on your period go up.
- You use the ‘pull-out’ method
The pull-out method may be the world’s oldest form of birth control.
The pull-out method, also known as withdrawal, involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation.
While some studies have found that withdrawal can be as high as 96% effective with perfect use, it isn’t easy to maintain perfect use with this method.
- You use a condom
When using a condom to avoid pregnancy (or sexually transmitted infections, for that matter), it’s vital to use it correctly. Correct usage means the condom is rolled onto the penis (or inserted into the vagina in the case of internal or female condoms) before there’s any contact between genitals and skin.
According to research, the chance of getting pregnant with male condoms is about 18%, and with female condoms, it’s 21%. With perfect condom use every single time, those odds decrease to 2%.
Some nursing parents use the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM) or “breastfeeding method” to prevent pregnancy after giving birth. LAM as a form of birth control relies on the temporary pause in ovulation that often accompanies breastfeeding in the first several months postpartum.
While breastfeeding, the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for getting your period each month, is suppressed experts say, hence, preventing pregnancy.
Source:pulse.com
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