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I Want To Divorce Him Though He Had Been Nothing But A Good Husband

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My story began in my second year at the university. I was a committed member of a campus church denomination. There was no program or service that I missed. On that fateful day, as I left my hostel for yet another program, not know that my life was going to change. I did

When the service ended, I locked eyes with a young man with a warm smile. I didn’t find him the least bit attractive but he had a striking presence. I smiled at him and walked away. I didn’t think much of him until I met him again at my aunt’s office. That day I took a good look at him. He is very short and has a distinct look. He is not handsome but he has the kind of face you could never forget. That day he was in the company of a beautiful lady. I smiled and nodded at him in recognition but didn’t speak to him. After that day I thought of him from time to time. Then I met him again when I went to do my attachment. He was working at the institution. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say this guy was following me around.” I thought. Of course, I was being silly.

This time he noticed me first. His warm smile covered his face when he introduced himself to me,

“We keep running into each other. My name is Kojo, you?” I shook his hand “I am Lady. Nice to meet you officially.” We both laughed at that. We exchanged contacts and started chatting. Our friendship was fun and comfortable. I was completely myself around him. He was down to earth and he showed genuine care for me. It felt like we had known each other all our lives. A month into our friendship Kojo asked me out on a date. We had a deeply personal conversation about our relationship history. We had both suffered some disappointments but we were open to finding love again.

That day Kojo told me, “I like the easy flow of our friendship. I believe that we will make each other happy if we take things to the next level.” I interrupted “What do you mean the next level? You mean besties?” He smiled “Stop playing the naïve girl card. You know exactly what I mean. I feel there’s a chemistry between us, and I know you feel it too. Don’t you want to explore it and see where it leads?” He was right. I felt an attraction for him but I wasn’t sure if it was love. However, I was willing to see where it would lead so I gave us a chance.

We were still very close and we were completely at ease in each other’s company. We had our fair share of problems. Through it all, Kojo was patient and ever-ready to talk and work things out. After one year together, I introduced her to my mother. I wanted us to get her approval before we continue the relationship. When she met Kojo she was happy. She welcomed him with an open embrace. Later she called me, “Kojo seems like a good guy. But be careful and don’t put all your hopes on him.” I didn’t make anything of her advice at that time. Kojo and I continued to be happy and peaceful until I started my national service. He became insecure which led him to be unreasonably possessive.

This caused a lot of problems for us. He wanted to control every aspect of my life. From the clothes I wore, to who I talked to. We were always arguing over his jealousy and controlling habits. He wanted me to behave in a way that would make me invisible to other men. I am also not the kind of woman who would allow a man to dictate my life. We went back and forth until he conceded. He came to understand that his fears would cause him to lose me. So he worked on it. Gradually, things went back to how they were.

Five years into the relationship, Kojo proposed that

we get married. The truth is, I never envisioned myself married to him. I loved him and things were good with him but I didn’t feel he was the one. However, we had been together for so long and it wouldn’t have made sense for me to walk away. So I agreed to marry him. When we started making preparations, my mother wasn’t supportive. She found little ways to discourage me but I didn’t let her get to me. When it got to time to set the date, she came up with equally important events that would clash with our wedding. Every date we proposed was met with “Oh no, there’s this person’s funeral on that day. Pick another one.” Or “I am travelling around that time. Postpone it till I return.” I didn’t notice what she was doing until Kojo pointed it out, it looks like your mother is trying to prevent us from getting married.”

At first, I didn’t believe him. So I asked my mum, so I could prove him wrong. “Mama are you against my marriage with Kojo?” She didn’t deny it; “Tell me, are you sure he is the man you want to marry?” I got defensive “Yes. He is a good man and we’ve been together for five years. I have to marry him.” My mum tried to help me to understand that I didn’t have to marry him but that I should want to marry him. I didn’t listen to her. She didn’t have any choice but to accept my decision.

Kojo and I are now married with a child. The warm friendship we used to share is no longer there. The attraction I felt for him is dead. The love I felt for him is long gone. He is trying to make things work for us but I am not making any efforts to help him. He constantly tells me “I love you” and I feel its truth. But my response is always hollow. When I say it, it sounds like how school children recite the national pledge.

He is a perfect man but I don’t feel proud introducing him to my colleagues as my husband. I am beginning to regret marrying him. My mother saw what I couldn’t see and tried to prevent me from making a mistake, but I didn’t listen to her.

Since we got married, Kojo hasn’t done anything to hurt me but I don’t want him anymore. Every time he touches me, I fight the urge to flinch. Shuperu with him feels like an unpleasant chore. Nothing he does makes me happy. I think the best thing to do is to file for a divorce so we can both move on with our lives. My problem is, how do I tell him? How do I explain to him that even though he is a good husband, I no longer want to be married to him?

Source: Silent Beads

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Herbal cures for panic attacks: all the facts and more

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It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. You may learn to manage panic episodes and minimise their frequency and intensity with training and the correct tactics.

A range of herbal remedies can help reduce panic attack symptoms. Consider the following options:

  • Valerian root has long been used to treat insomnia and anxiety. It may reduce the severity of panic attacks by soothing the nervous system.
  • Chamomile: This plant has relaxing properties and has been long used to relieve anxiety and insomnia. Chamomile tea or supplements may help alleviate panic attack symptoms.
  • Lavender: Lavender has long been used to relieve anxiety and tension because of its relaxing scent. Inhaling lavender essential oil or taking a lavender supplement may help relieve panic attack symptoms.
  • Kava kava: For centuries, the Pacific Islands have used this plant to relieve anxiety and tension. It may reduce the severity of panic attacks by soothing the nervous system.

It should be noted that these herbs should not be used in place of professional medical care. If you’re having panic attacks, it’s critical that you obtain the right diagnosis and treatment from a doctor.

What causes panic attacks?

Starting a new career or migrating to a new location, as well as important life events such as getting married or having a kid, can be stressful.

Anxiety or depression in the family: If you have a family history of anxiety or depression, you may be more prone to panic attacks.

Excessive coffee or alcohol consumption, as well as sudden withdrawal or reintroduction, can cause panic attacks.

Medical disorders such as heart disease or hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) can also induce panic episodes.

It is crucial to understand that panic episodes can develop for no apparent reason. If you’re having panic attacks and aren’t sure what’s causing them, meeting with a mental health professional for further assessment and therapy may be beneficial.

How can you naturally treat a panic attack?

Deep breathing can help with physical panic attack symptoms like a racing heart and shortness of breath. Take a big breath in with your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale softly through your mouth.

To comfort oneself, employ positive self-talk such as “I can handle this,” “I am safe,” or “This will pass.”

Concentrate on the present: Panic episodes are frequently accompanied by rapid thoughts about the future or the past. Focus on your surroundings and physical sensations in your body to bring your attention back to the present moment.

Relaxation practises such as progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation, and yoga may all help you relax and quiet your mind and body.

Seek assistance: Speaking with a trusted friend or family member, as well as consulting a mental health professional, can help you manage panic attacks.

It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. They will pass, and the more practice you have at dealing with them, the better you will become.

How can you permanently stop panic episodes without medication?

Seek expert assistance: A mental health professional can assist you in determining the reasons for your panic attacks and developing a treatment plan to manage them. Treatment may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or other forms of therapy, as well as relaxation methods or lifestyle adjustments.

Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation are all relaxation techniques that can help you relax and manage stress and anxiety.

Regular exercise can help you reduce stress and enhance your overall well-being. On most days of the week, aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity, such as brisk walking or cycling.

Eat a nutritious diet: Eating a diet high in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains while avoiding processed and sugary foods will improve your physical and mental health.

Get adequate sleep: Sleep is essential for physical and mental health. Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night.

Recognise and avoid circumstances or activities that may provoke panic attacks, such as coffee or alcohol usage, or specific sorts of environments.

It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. You may learn to manage panic episodes and minimise their frequency and intensity with training and the correct tactics.

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Health Issues After Quitting Alcohol: Everything You Need to Know

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It is vital to recognise that quitting alcohol is a personal decision, and everyone's experience will be unique. It may be difficult at times, but the potential benefits are well worth the effort.

Following the cessation of alcohol drinking, a range of health problems may occur, some of which may be temporary and others of which may be permanent. Here are just a few examples:

  • When a heavy drinker quickly stops drinking, they may experience withdrawal symptoms such as tremors, anxiety, and insomnia. In severe cases, alcohol withdrawal can be lethal, necessitating medical attention.
  • Some elements, such as vitamin B1, can be inhibited by alcohol, and long-term heavy drinking can lead to deficiencies. These shortfalls can cause a number of health problems, including fatigue, muscle weakness, and nerve damage.
  • Alcohol use can contribute to the development of mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, and abstaining from alcohol may assist in facilitating these conditions. However, refraining from alcohol may induce or aggravate mental health difficulties in other settings, particularly in persons with a history of mental illness.
  • Alcohol use can cause considerable liver damage, such as fatty liver disease, alcoholic hepatitis, and cirrhosis. Abstinence from alcohol can help heal some of the damage, but in extreme situations, the damage may be irreversible.

It’s important to remember that everyone is unique, and the precise health issues that may occur after stopping alcohol may differ depending on the individual’s drinking history, general health, and other variables. It’s always a good idea to consult with a doctor or other healthcare expert about the potential health hazards of abstaining from alcohol and to seek medical attention if necessary.

What happens to your body physiologically after you quit drinking?

When a person stops drinking alcohol, their body adjusts to the lack of alcohol. This can cause a variety of physical symptoms, some of which are temporary while others are long-term. Here are some of the things that might happen in a person’s body after they quit drinking:

  • Better sleep: Alcohol can interrupt sleep patterns and contribute to poor sleep quality. When a person stops drinking, their sleep may improve because their body no longer has to metabolise the alcohol.
  • Alcohol contains a lot of calories, and excessive drinking can contribute to weight gain. Quitting drinking may result in weight loss since the body no longer absorbs the extra calories from alcohol.
  • Improved digestion: Alcohol can irritate the lining of the digestive tract, contributing to problems like acid reflux. Quitting alcohol may improve digestion and reduce the number of digestive diseases.
  • Better skin health: Alcohol dehydrates the skin, which can contribute to issues such as acne breakouts. Quitting alcohol may improve skin health and reduce skin diseases.

It’s crucial to remember that everyone is unique, and the physical consequences of stopping drinking will vary based on the individual’s drinking history, general health, and other circumstances. It’s always a good idea to talk to a doctor or other healthcare professional about the potential consequences of quitting drinking, and to seek medical help if necessary.

The length of time it takes for the body to return to normal after quitting drinking is determined by a number of factors, including the individual’s drinking history, overall health, and the severity of any alcohol-related health problems. The following are some general guidelines for how long it may take for specific physiological systems to return to normal after quitting drinking:

  • Alcohol withdrawal symptoms often peak within the first 24-72 hours following the last drink and can persist for several days to a week. Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal in severe circumstances, demanding medical intervention.
  • Alcohol may affect the brain and nervous system in a variety of ways, and the quantity and duration of alcohol ingested influence how long it takes for these systems to recover. In other circumstances, it may take months or years for the brain to fully heal.
  • Heavy drinking may gravely harm the liver, which is in charge of breaking down and metabolising alcohol. The amount of time it takes for the liver to recover depends on the degree of the lesion and the individual’s general health. The liver may be able to repair itself in certain circumstances, but in others, the damage may be irreversible.
  • Alcohol can irritate the digestive system lining, contributing to illnesses such as acid reflux. Within a few days to a week, abstaining from alcohol may result in improved digestion and a reduction in digestive difficulties.

It’s crucial to remember that stopping drinking may not totally cure the body, especially if the person has been drinking heavily for a long time. Long-term alcohol addiction can cause long-term harm to several biological systems in some situations. It’s always a good idea to consult with a doctor or other healthcare expert about the potential repercussions of stopping alcohol and to seek medical attention if required.

When you stop drinking, how can you know when your liver is healing?

The liver is a powerful organ that can repair itself after alcohol injury. The amount of time it takes for the liver to recover varies on the severity of the lesion and the individual’s overall health.

The liver is a strong organ that may heal itself after alcohol damage. The length of time it takes for the liver to recover depends on the degree of the lesion and the individual’s general health.

When you stop drinking, there are a few signs that your liver is healing:

The liver creates bile, which aids in fat digestion, which improves digestion. You may notice an improvement in your digestion after you stop drinking.

Alcohol is high in empty calories, which can contribute to weight gain. When you quit drinking, your body starts burning stored fat for energy, causing you to lose weight.

Increased energy: Alcohol might make you lethargic and fatigued. You may experience a rise in energy levels while your liver repairs.

Better skin: Alcohol may cause skin to dry out and become dull. You may notice an improvement in the look and texture of your skin while your liver continues to operate regularly.

It’s crucial to remember that alcohol-related liver damage is typically irreversible, so get medical attention if you’re concerned about the health of your liver. It is never too late to make positive lifestyle changes that will enhance your health and well-being.

What happens once you stop drinking?

Depending on their circumstances and reasons for quitting, each person’s life after stopping alcohol may seem very different. Some people may discover that they have more energy and are more productive, but others may find it difficult to adjust to life without alcohol.

You may notice the following changes after quitting alcohol:

Improved health: Quitting alcohol can bring a variety of health benefits, including a lower chance of developing diseases including liver disease, some cancers, and heart disease. You may experience advantages in your sleep and digestion as well.

More time and money: Drinking alcohol may be costly and time-consuming, especially if you do it regularly. If you stop drinking, you may be able to devote more time and money to other hobbies and activities.

Improved relationships: Alcohol can impair your judgement and conduct, leading to disagreements with loved ones. Quitting alcohol may help you enhance your social ties and communication skills.

Increased self-esteem: Depending on your motivation for quitting drinking, you may experience a feeling of success and satisfaction in your decision. This might boost your self-esteem and happiness.

It is vital to recognise that quitting alcohol is a personal decision, and everyone’s experience will be unique. It may be difficult at times, but the potential benefits are well worth the effort.

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South African roadway fissures as a result of the Johannesburg explosion

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South African roadway fissures as a result of the Johannesburg explosion

One of Johannesburg’s busiest roadways has been extensively damaged as a result of a suspected explosion from an underground gas pipeline.

Videos show portions of the road collapsing and automobiles flipping upside down.

According to authorities, one person was murdered and several were injured.

At the moment of the detonation, some witnesses described feeling the earth shake and then hearing a huge bang.

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