“I’m engaged, but my fiance has just admitted to having an affair”

"I'm engaged, but my fiance has just admitted to having an affair"

Dear Coleen,

I’ve been with my boyfriend since 2016, and we got engaged a year ago. We’re getting married in August.

Although, like most couples, we’ve had ups and downs, I’d say our relationship has been good and we’re close.

So I was taken aback when he recently admitted to having a brief affair two years after we met, while I was away visiting my sister.

He said it as if it didn’t matter because it didn’t, and our relationship was still in its early stages.

It wasn’t, because we’d been seeing each other for two years!

He claims it was with a girl he met at work and lasted only a couple of weeks.

To be honest, I’m not sure what to believe anymore because my trust in him has been shattered; it’s as if I don’t even know him.

He claims it’s been eating at him, and he didn’t want to walk down the aisle and say his vows without telling me.

He wouldn’t say much about the girl other than that she left the company and he hasn’t kept in touch with her.

I’m broken and have been crying myself to sleep. How am I going to marry him now?

No one in our family is aware of this, and it would break their hearts.

I’m furious at him and need advice on how to deal with it.

Coleen says

Now that he’s done a big guilt dump, you have to deal with it.

I’m sure he’s relieved the cat’s out of the bag and is hoping you’ll just move on and that’ll be the end of it. We all know (except him) that it’s not that simple!

Make it clear that you will never be able to trust him again unless he starts telling you what happened and why.

He can’t expect you to happily walk down the aisle and marry him unless you unpack this and feel confident that you can move on while still wanting to be with him.

Putting the wedding plans on hold or rescheduling the date will give you the time you need to work it out.

I’d also recommend relationship therapy to help with the process. And don’t be concerned about upsetting your friends and family – you can’t have a wedding just to please others.

Marriage is a significant step, and you must be certain that your heart is in it and that he is fully committed before you both take the plunge.

Without a looming deadline, you need time to figure out what you want.

Don’t feel obligated to marry, and don’t do it unless it’s truly what you both want. Best of luck

Source: mirror.co.uk