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I’ve Done Two Abortions For Him But He Wants To Marry My Younger Sister
I never thought I would be one of those people who put my story out but my heart is breaking beyond what I can take and I urgently need advice. If there was ever a time that I could curse men it would be now. Never in my life have I felt so let down and betrayed in my life. This is my story.
When I was in senior high school, I wasn’t one of the girls you see running around with the other girls looking for big men to sponsor them. I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t going to be used and dumped. Never. I kept my virginity throughout SSS and even through all of the university. There were a lot of suitors and potential boyfriends and to be honest, s*x was the only thing on their minds. They’d just use marriage as an excuse to get into your pants. Ghanaian men are like that, they think if they mention marriage, it removes the padlock to your underwear. It wasn’t going to work on me.
Not focusing on men brought be a lot of joy especially career-wise. Working in a bank and giving it all my attention meant that my bosses loved my productivity. I didn’t have all of those baby daddy issues, breakup stress and marriage issues. Don’t get me wrong but I was happy for my friends who were paired up. It just wasn’t what I was interested in. My nickname was “Career Woman” and if you think your parents are worrying you about getting married because you’re getting too old, you should meet mine.
I am sure my parents could have had another child within the time they were pressuring me to have one. Anyway, in the course of my rounds one day I went to one of our branches to perform a risk assessment. The minute I entered, I realized there were too many people waiting to be served but there was an old woman in particular who was standing in the queue. She badly needed to sit but it took the outburst of this young guy to cause someone to give up their seat. I found it very charming of him as you don’t see many acts of chivalry of late especially when it comes to men. It was a coincidence that I met him on the way home and offered him a lift. He was still in university at the time so I took him to campus.
We had a very interesting conversation and he came across as very mature even his thinking and he was only 22!
We grew close after that, I became his mentor and even helped him pay for tuition and other costs he incurred. I mean, I only have one sister and we were doing okay as a family financially so taking care of an extra person wasn’t a problem. We even used him as a handyman whenever we needed someone to change the bulbs or fix something in the house and he didn’t mind. He becomes close to my family. Now I don’t know whether this is when things went wrong.
I had become so dependent on him for everything that I perhaps took it too far. He was only 22 and I was 29. I was suffering from back pain badly on one of the weekends and since he was fixing something in the house, I called him to give me a massage. It was all okay at first but he mistakenly touched me somewhere and it triggered my feelings. It was just above my thigh but I didn’t say anything. A few minutes later it happened again and I knew it was on purpose. I jokingly said to him “you know I’m your big sister, right?” and he said, “I know.” I didn’t stop him the third time as he went all the way. I had reached the point of no return and before I realized we were having s*x.
It was my first time and I was still a bit green even though I was older. He took control and moved me about like a pro and it was the best feeling, trust me. I was so shocked after that I didn’t know what to say. I became addicted and would often call him to come over to “fix things”. I think my family suspected that there was something happening but I kept him as my toyboy and the relationship secret. He never complained and we used to make fun of our special relationship by booking appointments and all till I got pregnant. I swore to never tell him and I realized I was pregnant early enough so I had it aborted because there was no way I was going to tell my family and friends that I was carrying a baby for someone who was young enough to be my brother. But this world is funny because in the seven years that we’ve had this “situation-ship”, I have had another abortion.
I decided to tell him the second time I got pregnant but he was torn apart saying that he wasn’t ready to have a child considering his circumstances and even when I promised to take care of the child and everything, he reassured me that he wanted us to be together and take an active part in the child’s life by being responsible and helping with the finances so we needed to plan for it. Again, to me, that was a mature way to put it so I went ahead to do another abortion. The hurt was more painful than the first time and I was told explicitly by the doctor that my chances of having a baby had reduced drastically because of the scarring the procedures had caused.
I turned 35 over the weekend and my little sister came to me with tears of joy. After hugging her and calming her down she said she had a birthday present for me. She’d accepted a marriage proposal and wanted me to be maid-of-honour. I was a bit jealous because she’d be getting married first but I felt happy for her and asked to see which “idiot” had fallen for her. We laughed and she said I knew him but I was a bit confused because we don’t share the same friends so when she showed me a picture of this same boy I’ve been pregnant for twice I could feel my head spinning. I just burst into tears and lied through my teeth that they were more tears of joy.
I’ve been stuck in my room crying since Monday and I can’t believe I’ve been taken for a fool. There’s no way in heaven or hell I’m going to let this marriage happen. I haven’t confronted the guy because my hands shake every time I pick up the phone. Where do I start from again at my age? I might not even be able to have a child. How do I get away from this mess?
I’ve been stuck in my room crying since Monday and I can’t believe I’ve been taken for a fool. There’s no way in heaven or hell I’m going to let this marriage happen. I haven’t confronted the guy because my hands shake every time I pick up the phone. Where do I start from again at my age? I might not even be able to have a child. How do I get away from this mess?
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Herbal cures for panic attacks: all the facts and more
A range of herbal remedies can help reduce panic attack symptoms. Consider the following options:
- Valerian root has long been used to treat insomnia and anxiety. It may reduce the severity of panic attacks by soothing the nervous system.
- Chamomile: This plant has relaxing properties and has been long used to relieve anxiety and insomnia. Chamomile tea or supplements may help alleviate panic attack symptoms.
- Lavender: Lavender has long been used to relieve anxiety and tension because of its relaxing scent. Inhaling lavender essential oil or taking a lavender supplement may help relieve panic attack symptoms.
- Kava kava: For centuries, the Pacific Islands have used this plant to relieve anxiety and tension. It may reduce the severity of panic attacks by soothing the nervous system.
It should be noted that these herbs should not be used in place of professional medical care. If you’re having panic attacks, it’s critical that you obtain the right diagnosis and treatment from a doctor.
What causes panic attacks?
Starting a new career or migrating to a new location, as well as important life events such as getting married or having a kid, can be stressful.
Anxiety or depression in the family: If you have a family history of anxiety or depression, you may be more prone to panic attacks.
Excessive coffee or alcohol consumption, as well as sudden withdrawal or reintroduction, can cause panic attacks.
Medical disorders such as heart disease or hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) can also induce panic episodes.
It is crucial to understand that panic episodes can develop for no apparent reason. If you’re having panic attacks and aren’t sure what’s causing them, meeting with a mental health professional for further assessment and therapy may be beneficial.
How can you naturally treat a panic attack?
Deep breathing can help with physical panic attack symptoms like a racing heart and shortness of breath. Take a big breath in with your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale softly through your mouth.
To comfort oneself, employ positive self-talk such as “I can handle this,” “I am safe,” or “This will pass.”
Concentrate on the present: Panic episodes are frequently accompanied by rapid thoughts about the future or the past. Focus on your surroundings and physical sensations in your body to bring your attention back to the present moment.
Relaxation practises such as progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation, and yoga may all help you relax and quiet your mind and body.
Seek assistance: Speaking with a trusted friend or family member, as well as consulting a mental health professional, can help you manage panic attacks.
It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. They will pass, and the more practice you have at dealing with them, the better you will become.
How can you permanently stop panic episodes without medication?
Seek expert assistance: A mental health professional can assist you in determining the reasons for your panic attacks and developing a treatment plan to manage them. Treatment may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or other forms of therapy, as well as relaxation methods or lifestyle adjustments.
Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation are all relaxation techniques that can help you relax and manage stress and anxiety.
Regular exercise can help you reduce stress and enhance your overall well-being. On most days of the week, aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity, such as brisk walking or cycling.
Eat a nutritious diet: Eating a diet high in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains while avoiding processed and sugary foods will improve your physical and mental health.
Get adequate sleep: Sleep is essential for physical and mental health. Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night.
Recognise and avoid circumstances or activities that may provoke panic attacks, such as coffee or alcohol usage, or specific sorts of environments.
It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. You may learn to manage panic episodes and minimise their frequency and intensity with training and the correct tactics.
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Health Issues After Quitting Alcohol: Everything You Need to Know
Following the cessation of alcohol drinking, a range of health problems may occur, some of which may be temporary and others of which may be permanent. Here are just a few examples:
- When a heavy drinker quickly stops drinking, they may experience withdrawal symptoms such as tremors, anxiety, and insomnia. In severe cases, alcohol withdrawal can be lethal, necessitating medical attention.
- Some elements, such as vitamin B1, can be inhibited by alcohol, and long-term heavy drinking can lead to deficiencies. These shortfalls can cause a number of health problems, including fatigue, muscle weakness, and nerve damage.
- Alcohol use can contribute to the development of mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, and abstaining from alcohol may assist in facilitating these conditions. However, refraining from alcohol may induce or aggravate mental health difficulties in other settings, particularly in persons with a history of mental illness.
- Alcohol use can cause considerable liver damage, such as fatty liver disease, alcoholic hepatitis, and cirrhosis. Abstinence from alcohol can help heal some of the damage, but in extreme situations, the damage may be irreversible.
It’s important to remember that everyone is unique, and the precise health issues that may occur after stopping alcohol may differ depending on the individual’s drinking history, general health, and other variables. It’s always a good idea to consult with a doctor or other healthcare expert about the potential health hazards of abstaining from alcohol and to seek medical attention if necessary.
What happens to your body physiologically after you quit drinking?
When a person stops drinking alcohol, their body adjusts to the lack of alcohol. This can cause a variety of physical symptoms, some of which are temporary while others are long-term. Here are some of the things that might happen in a person’s body after they quit drinking:
- Better sleep: Alcohol can interrupt sleep patterns and contribute to poor sleep quality. When a person stops drinking, their sleep may improve because their body no longer has to metabolise the alcohol.
- Alcohol contains a lot of calories, and excessive drinking can contribute to weight gain. Quitting drinking may result in weight loss since the body no longer absorbs the extra calories from alcohol.
- Improved digestion: Alcohol can irritate the lining of the digestive tract, contributing to problems like acid reflux. Quitting alcohol may improve digestion and reduce the number of digestive diseases.
- Better skin health: Alcohol dehydrates the skin, which can contribute to issues such as acne breakouts. Quitting alcohol may improve skin health and reduce skin diseases.
It’s crucial to remember that everyone is unique, and the physical consequences of stopping drinking will vary based on the individual’s drinking history, general health, and other circumstances. It’s always a good idea to talk to a doctor or other healthcare professional about the potential consequences of quitting drinking, and to seek medical help if necessary.
The length of time it takes for the body to return to normal after quitting drinking is determined by a number of factors, including the individual’s drinking history, overall health, and the severity of any alcohol-related health problems. The following are some general guidelines for how long it may take for specific physiological systems to return to normal after quitting drinking:
- Alcohol withdrawal symptoms often peak within the first 24-72 hours following the last drink and can persist for several days to a week. Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal in severe circumstances, demanding medical intervention.
- Alcohol may affect the brain and nervous system in a variety of ways, and the quantity and duration of alcohol ingested influence how long it takes for these systems to recover. In other circumstances, it may take months or years for the brain to fully heal.
- Heavy drinking may gravely harm the liver, which is in charge of breaking down and metabolising alcohol. The amount of time it takes for the liver to recover depends on the degree of the lesion and the individual’s general health. The liver may be able to repair itself in certain circumstances, but in others, the damage may be irreversible.
- Alcohol can irritate the digestive system lining, contributing to illnesses such as acid reflux. Within a few days to a week, abstaining from alcohol may result in improved digestion and a reduction in digestive difficulties.
It’s crucial to remember that stopping drinking may not totally cure the body, especially if the person has been drinking heavily for a long time. Long-term alcohol addiction can cause long-term harm to several biological systems in some situations. It’s always a good idea to consult with a doctor or other healthcare expert about the potential repercussions of stopping alcohol and to seek medical attention if required.
When you stop drinking, how can you know when your liver is healing?
The liver is a powerful organ that can repair itself after alcohol injury. The amount of time it takes for the liver to recover varies on the severity of the lesion and the individual’s overall health.
The liver is a strong organ that may heal itself after alcohol damage. The length of time it takes for the liver to recover depends on the degree of the lesion and the individual’s general health.
When you stop drinking, there are a few signs that your liver is healing:
The liver creates bile, which aids in fat digestion, which improves digestion. You may notice an improvement in your digestion after you stop drinking.
Alcohol is high in empty calories, which can contribute to weight gain. When you quit drinking, your body starts burning stored fat for energy, causing you to lose weight.
Increased energy: Alcohol might make you lethargic and fatigued. You may experience a rise in energy levels while your liver repairs.
Better skin: Alcohol may cause skin to dry out and become dull. You may notice an improvement in the look and texture of your skin while your liver continues to operate regularly.
It’s crucial to remember that alcohol-related liver damage is typically irreversible, so get medical attention if you’re concerned about the health of your liver. It is never too late to make positive lifestyle changes that will enhance your health and well-being.
What happens once you stop drinking?
Depending on their circumstances and reasons for quitting, each person’s life after stopping alcohol may seem very different. Some people may discover that they have more energy and are more productive, but others may find it difficult to adjust to life without alcohol.
You may notice the following changes after quitting alcohol:
Improved health: Quitting alcohol can bring a variety of health benefits, including a lower chance of developing diseases including liver disease, some cancers, and heart disease. You may experience advantages in your sleep and digestion as well.
More time and money: Drinking alcohol may be costly and time-consuming, especially if you do it regularly. If you stop drinking, you may be able to devote more time and money to other hobbies and activities.
Improved relationships: Alcohol can impair your judgement and conduct, leading to disagreements with loved ones. Quitting alcohol may help you enhance your social ties and communication skills.
Increased self-esteem: Depending on your motivation for quitting drinking, you may experience a feeling of success and satisfaction in your decision. This might boost your self-esteem and happiness.
It is vital to recognise that quitting alcohol is a personal decision, and everyone’s experience will be unique. It may be difficult at times, but the potential benefits are well worth the effort.
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South African roadway fissures as a result of the Johannesburg explosion
One of Johannesburg’s busiest roadways has been extensively damaged as a result of a suspected explosion from an underground gas pipeline.
Videos show portions of the road collapsing and automobiles flipping upside down.
According to authorities, one person was murdered and several were injured.
At the moment of the detonation, some witnesses described feeling the earth shake and then hearing a huge bang.