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I’ve impregnated two girls at the same time outside wedlock

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I know I deserve to be mocked, but please see past my folly and provide me with advice and answers. I am a happily married man. My wife and I have been married for eight years and have no children. We’ve been conducting treatments here and there, and it’s not been easy. My wife was the source of the problem, but the physicians insisted it was curable. She experienced fibroid troubles and had three miscarriages in the past. At one point, it appeared that I was the one pushing her to go to the fertility clinic for checks and that I was also forcing her to do it all the time. I was simply anxious to have my own child. These are dear pals of mine. We occasionally go to parties. Not often, but when we all come to Accra, we attempt to meet.

One of my friends has been married for ten years and has three children, but he has left his wife for another woman in Takoradi, with whom he has a kid. His wife is unaware. This man advised me to locate another lady if all I wanted was a kid and my wife didn’t have to know. Some coworkers even suggested those scientific approaches and surrogates. However, the expense alone may deter you. So I began to evaluate my Tadi friend’s offer. Especially when my wife grew grumpy and used emotional blackmail and self-pity to defend herself. Years ago, it worked. I was sick of it at this point. I found myself a lady. She attends university. I just drove around campus once and claimed to be lost and in need of instructions. I vowed to look after her. I purchased a new laptop and phone for her and placed her on a weekly allowance.

She was aware that I was married. She just didn’t know about my ambitions to impregnate her. I should have gone with someone who had no academic obligations, but those Legon girls are incredibly easy to get by. Unless you don’t have a car or enough money. So I bought her a single-room self-contained unit off of campus. It wasn’t far because it was in Madina. I’ll go there and complete the deed before returning home to my wife. As time passed, the girl began insisting that I pay her money for medications because I never used protection. I was always making excuses, but when I noticed she was making her own, I became enraged with her. Because of school, the girl read my intentions and informed me she wasn’t ready to be pregnant. I could understand her, but I didn’t abandon her. My trips to her home grew less frequent, despite the fact that I continued to care for her.

I decided that cheating was too stressful for me, so I’ll attempt to cut the lady off totally before my wife notices. Then, a few months later, this new renter arrived to take up the vacant room in our next house. That’s where I went wrong. Something began between myself and the girl. We were buddies for a brief period. I assisted her in setting up her room one Saturday, and then our conversations began. It occurred quickly, but I knacked her on two occasions before attempting to stop. One day, Wifey accused me of cheating, and I didn’t want to hurt her any more than she was hurting. This is now my issue. My wife became pregnant earlier this year. Because the pregnancy was problematic, we were advised not to engage in any type of sexual activity until she delivered birth.

I was slipping next door to the lady I mentioned before, as well as meeting the Legon girl after work. My wife has now given birth to a son. The two other females I was using to keep my desire in check until wifey was ready are also pregnant. The Uni girl’s own surprised me since I assumed she was purchasing medications but she stated she forgot some days. I’ve sat her down to persuade her that ending it will benefit both of us. She is in school, and my wife has just given birth after a long period of waiting. She agreed to everything, only to contact me days later to say she was terrified and her conscience was against it, so she notified her mother as soon as she went home for vacation, and her mother is waiting for me to come and see her and take responsibility. Fortunately, the neighbour has stolen money from me in order to remove her own.

What should I do about this young lady? She has no idea where I live or who I know. She won’t be able to track me down if I change my phone number and social media profiles. These notions keep racing through my head, yet I know they’re incorrect. I’m not going to inform my wife about this. My wife had a friend who forgave her spouse after discovering he was cheating on her. My wife was furious. She stated that if it was her, she would leave me right away. I haven’t forgotten about it. She suspects me, but she hasn’t discovered anything concrete. My kid has just arrived.

I don’t want him to arrive and see a damaged house after we’ve waited so long for him. I’m wondering if I can go see the girl’s mother and explain things to her. I will promise them that I will take care of the child when it is born and that he or she would not go hungry, but they must avoid my wife. She is not required to know. Looking at the timing of the pregnancies, it appears like they all decided to become pregnant to punish me for my conduct. The Uni girl is now roughly four months pregnant. Abortion is not late, but it is risky. I’m at a loss for what to do. My Tadi buddy wants to accompany me to the location and claim the kid as his so that my wife does not know it is mine. I doubt the female will cooperate. It’s also not a good idea in my opinion. I’m basically in a state of confusion right now. I require assistance.

Source: Anonymous Confessions

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How to start a new relationship: 6 tips to make it work this year

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Starting a new relationship can be quite tricky yet exciting at the same time.

You will be excited at the prospect of someone loving you and caring for you, taking time for you.

The start of a relationship might probably be the best time of your life as you are starting a new relationship. However, as excited as you might be, it is crucial to know what to do in a new relationship and what not to do in a new relationship.

How to make it work

If you understand the dos and don’ts of new relationships, it will be easier for you to move forward and form a healthy relationship with your partner.

It would help if you respected each other’s independence and choices. Although it is alright to keep in touch, be aware of each other’s whereabouts, and communicate, continuously pinging each other can also suffocate at times.

It is just that how to start a relationship can be quite complicated and tricky and requires lots of effort. Once you get used to it and know about your partner, it is easier to form a healthy relationship.

Dos and don’ts for a new relationship can help you stop second-guessing yourself. It gives you a vague blueprint about what needs to be done, and it can enhance your bond further.

  • Have realistic expectations

For a relationship to work, it is essential to be emotionally and mentally strong. You also have to be compromising and understanding. It’s not necessary that what you want in a relationship is the same as what your partner wants. So, be realistic about situations.

You can both have different thoughts and opinions, like how often you should text in a new relationship. While one person could enjoy the attention, the other appreciates space. So, it is crucial to find a middle ground.

  • Show love and affection to your partner

You might have made a new boyfriend. And now you must be thinking about starting a new relationship with a man you’ve just developed feelings for. 

You must first remember to show love and affection to your partner to strengthen the bond between you both. You must give attention and time to your partner and make eye contact with him.

  • Don’t start talking about the future prematurely

When you start a new relationship, bombarding your partner with questions and plans for the future is not how relationships work. There is a big chance that you can put your partner off.

Every relationship requires time, and you cannot imagine your boyfriend being head over heels from day one. 

You should remember that you are new to this and just starting a relationship. It is okay to be on cloud nine. However, if the question, “How to have a good relationship?” lingers in your mind, you must know that it’s all about taking things slow, one thing at a time. 

  • Don’t mention fears prematurely

At the beginning of a relationship, you and your partner are still getting comfortable with each other. Therefore, one of the crucial new relationship dos and don’ts include not mentioning your fears prematurely. 

Allow your partner the chance to discover your fears and limitations gradually. Mentioning things at the get-go can make them feel intimidated and overwhelmed. 

You can mention your fears when they become relevant to the equation you share with them. 

  • Enjoy moments

One of the big dos and don’ts in a new relationship is enjoying the present moment. 

Don’t let your past experiences and concerns about the future take away the sheen of the exciting present you are sharing with your partner. 

The best part of a new relationship is often the excitement and fun that you can have with someone. The chemistry between you two should be your focus, not the stress and anxiety about the past and present. 

  • Communicate effectively

Entering a new relationship can seem daunting as it often involves opening up to someone and sharing your life with them. However, this can be a cakewalk if you let clear communication guide you through this process. 

Treat effective communication as one of the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship. It can make or break a relationship depending on whether you do it honestly, respectfully and openly.

Source:pulse.com

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5 healthy boundaries every relationship needs this season

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Every relationship needs healthy boundaries.

Topics such as the boundaries you wish to have can save you from heartbreak down the road.

These are simple dos and donts that you expect your partner to abide by. They could be as simple as how you expect them to communicate to whether or not your relationship is exclusive.

Setting boundaries can determine the success or failure of your relationship.

Even as you enjoy the butterflies that materialize in your stomach at the sight of your new partner, consider talking about the following:

  • Communication style

This is very important information to give your partner. Tell them whether you like them to call or text, how often you need to hear from them, which pet names you like and which you don’t, etc. This will ensure that nobody gets offended when their communication preferences aren’t met.

In the same vein, talk about if and how you will address your relationship on social media. Some people are comfortable bearing it all online while others would like to keep it off social media.

  • What to do during conflict

Disagreements are inevitable and so, you need to know whether your partner needs time alone when they’re angry or they prefer to hash out your disagreement there and then. Communicate this clearly, preferably before you have your first fight, so that you know what is expected of you.

  • The type of commitment you want

To avoid any misunderstandings, clearly state what you expect as far as your relationship is concerned. Will you be exclusive or would you like an open relationship?

As you talk about commitment remember that you can’t change your partner. Even if you’ve clicked and you want different things from the relationship, it won’t end well. Be strong enough to let go if your expectations as far as commitment is concerned.

  • Intimacy

It’s very important to set sexual boundaries. Tell your partner what you like and don’t like in the bedroom, how often you’re comfortable having sex, what level of intimacy you like on a first date or in public and when you’re alone, etc. Do you mind holding hands while you’re out and about? Are you a chronic hugger?

A partner who won’t respect these boundaries or tries to coerce you to break them even when you try to remain adamant risks becoming abusive. This is a relationship red flag and you need to run.

  • Personal space

Tell your partner when you need personal space and what you require from them during this time. Do you need a few minutes alone when you wake up in the morning or do you like some quiet time when you come in from work?

Here’s just one of the examples on boundaries you should set early on in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel your partner is crossing your boundaries and making you uncomfortable. And remember, some boundaries can be negotiated such that you’re both happy and on the same page.

Source:pulse.com

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4 best tips to avoid getting pregnant during s*x

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There are many ways to avoid pregnancy if you are having active sex.

Sperm can live inside your uterus for up to 5 days after having sex, and pregnancy can only occur if there is sperm in your uterus or fallopian tubes when you ovulate.

You have many tools to prevent pregnancy. Birth control options are plentiful, but some work better than others. The key is to make sure you’re using them the right way.

Here’s what you can do:

  • You’re on birth control

Hormonal birth control methods such as the pill, patch, ring, implant, shot, or IUD significantly decrease your chances of getting pregnant, but they don’t eliminate your chances.

These experts say methods work in various ways. For example, IUDs block sperm from reaching the egg, while the pill, ring, and patch prevent ovulation.

  • You’re on your period

While it’s not impossible to get pregnant while on your period, your chances are pretty slim. 

Your lowest chance of getting pregnant while on your period is during the first day of bleeding. But the chances increase with each passing day as you get closer to your ovulation window. If your typical menstrual cycle is close to the average 28- to 30-day cycle, then the likelihood of getting pregnant while on your period is low. But if your cycle is shorter, your chances of getting pregnant while on your period go up.

  • You use the ‘pull-out’ method

The pull-out method may be the world’s oldest form of birth control.

The pull-out method, also known as withdrawal, involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation.

While some studies have found that withdrawal can be as high as 96% effective with perfect use, it isn’t easy to maintain perfect use with this method. 

  • You use a condom

When using a condom to avoid pregnancy (or sexually transmitted infections, for that matter), it’s vital to use it correctly. Correct usage means the condom is rolled onto the penis (or inserted into the vagina in the case of internal or female condoms) before there’s any contact between genitals and skin. 

According to research, the chance of getting pregnant with male condoms is about 18%, and with female condoms, it’s 21%. With perfect condom use every single time, those odds decrease to 2%.

Some nursing parents use the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM) or “breastfeeding method” to prevent pregnancy after giving birth. LAM as a form of birth control relies on the temporary pause in ovulation that often accompanies breastfeeding in the first several months postpartum.

While breastfeeding, the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for getting your period each month, is suppressed experts say, hence, preventing pregnancy.

Source:pulse.com

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