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My Advice To Young Girls: Avoid Sugar Daddies At All Cost



young girls

This story is a bit hard to narrate. I don’t recognise myself anymore. In the space of about 5 years, I have become everything I vowed never to become. In 2017, I gained admission into a prestigious University (I prefer not to mention the name); in 2018, I lost both of my parents in a car accident.

They were returning from a funeral and they both lost their lives. The news was so devastating to me that for that sem, I failed two of my papers. My four siblings were shared amongst my uncles and aunties they will call me at school and cry on the phone that they were hungry, or my auntie discriminates amongst them, or an uncle hit them with a chair.

It was always one issue after the other. As the firstborn, I couldn’t even concentrate on school because I felt responsible for my younger siblings and I wanted to take them away from some of my aunties.

Our lastborn has autism and he was staying with one of my father’s sisters. It was the same place I was also staying during the vacation. My brother was always neglected and he would cry and cry without anyone attending to him. It made me miss my mother so much because she studied the condition from the moment she gave birth to him and she knew how well to handle him. When I came to stay with them and I was leaving, my brother didn’t want to let me go. He clung to me so tightly and I couldn’t hold back my tears. I begged my auntie to try and give him a little bit more attention and she said I was a very ungrateful girl for suggesting that. We were orphans and we should be grateful that we had a roof to sleep under.

When I returned to school, I started finding ways to make money to free my siblings in the future. Not all of our aunties and uncles were treating us badly. My mother’s brother was the best.

He was even calling me to ask of me at school and my sister was staying with him. The one who comes directly after me. I didn’t want to create problems for my aunties and uncles. I don’t think they’re bad people per se, but I know how difficult it is to raise your own kids and add that of your late sibling’s child as well.

I started selling clothes on campus to sustain myself because apart from my mother’s brother who was sending me some money for my upkeep at school, I wasn’t receiving it from anywhere else.

In the midst of that hardship, a friend of mine introduced me to a lecturer. What she told me was that the man was very wealthy and apart from him lecturing, he owns a huge farm and has many workers. She told me he could place me on a scholarship because I was struggling to pay my fees. I also had some outstanding resits.

I went to his office one time with my friend and I must admit he was really a good-looking man and all that. But I honestly did not think that his intentions were s*xual. I have previously tried to apply for scholarships but because I failed two papers, my GPA reduced and I didn’t make the cut off so I gave up on that. I thought this lecturer was capable of helping me get a scholarship if I narrated my story to him.

He spoke to me in a professional way when my friend was in the office with me and he told me he runs a scholarship programme for needy students like me. He gave me a different time to come and see him in his office. I went to him again on the day he gave me it.

This time, my friend had a lecture and she couldn’t escort me. When I went, the conversation was totally different. He started telling me about the number of students he pays their fees and the need to understand that life is a give and take.

He said I have something he wants and he has something I want. He gave me his personal contact and told me to call him anytime. Then he got up from his desk and started making advances toward me. He tried to lift my skirt but I had had enough and I got up and left the office. When I got to my room, my roommates were not around and I cried bitterly.

I wasn’t done paying my school fees. I also had to buy some handouts for my courses and pay for a resit. In addition to that, I wasn’t having enough money to sustain myself for the rest of that month even though I was eating once a day. I fought the urge to call the lecturer for three whole weeks.

But when I used all the money I was using to sell clothes to buy some food and the handouts I needed, I realised that I had come to the end of the rope. I felt like I was hanging. I called him with tears in my eyes on Saturday and he wasn’t in the school but he drove to the entrance and picked me up.

To clarify, he wasn’t my lecturer, he was teaching a different course. That day, he took me to an apartment beyond Kasoa and had his way with me. That place was his secret apartment. He only brought his students there.

After that one encounter, he sent a huge sum of money into my bank account. I paid all my expenses within that week and paid the debts I owed my friends. I even sent something to my siblings and I still had some money left with me. The following weekend, the cycle continued.

But this time, I boarded a vehicle from campus and met him halfway. This happened almost every week until I recently told him I was done. I have created separate mutual funds for all my siblings and myself. The returns we are getting are enough to sustain us monthly.

I also rekindled my clothes business. I have rented a shop and I have an employee who sells for me. After I completed University a year ago, I rented a two-bedroom for my siblings and me and we now stay there. I pay their school fees as well. I did all of this with the weekly amounts I was receiving from my sugar daddy. It hasn’t come easily.

The man is a pervert, he can make demands on me and place huge amounts on them. He would tell me to allow him to spit in my mouth for ghc1K. Then he would spank me with a cane for 2k. Other times he would choke me with his thing for 3k and on and on.

If I played the game well, I could leave with 15K every week. I learnt that apart from his farm and lecturing, he was on the board of big institutions and he was enjoying a lot of allowances so giving out such amounts was peanut to him.

I want to be free of him now because I have established myself. I plan on buying a second shop next to my current shop to start selling shoes. I have budgeted for that and everything. I have also bought a plot of land and I am starting a building project soon. Now he said none of his girls ever leaves him. I told him I was done with University now and I wanted my freedom.

He said any girl who leaves him after his investments in her will meet her untimely death. This has really scared me, my friend, who introduced us told me she sleeps with a friend of my lecturer. These old men are in this society.

Not a cult per se, but a friendship society and you’ll have to have s*x with them until they don’t want you anymore or else they will find a way to end your life because you know too much about them. My friend claims these men have ways and means of finding you if you ever try to run. I feel so trapped although I look happy on the outside. I want to advise all girls to never succumb to the pressure of sleeping with sugar daddies for money. It doesn’t end well.

Source: Anonymous Confessions


How to start a new relationship: 6 tips to make it work this year



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Starting a new relationship can be quite tricky yet exciting at the same time.

You will be excited at the prospect of someone loving you and caring for you, taking time for you.

The start of a relationship might probably be the best time of your life as you are starting a new relationship. However, as excited as you might be, it is crucial to know what to do in a new relationship and what not to do in a new relationship.

How to make it work

If you understand the dos and don’ts of new relationships, it will be easier for you to move forward and form a healthy relationship with your partner.

It would help if you respected each other’s independence and choices. Although it is alright to keep in touch, be aware of each other’s whereabouts, and communicate, continuously pinging each other can also suffocate at times.

It is just that how to start a relationship can be quite complicated and tricky and requires lots of effort. Once you get used to it and know about your partner, it is easier to form a healthy relationship.

Dos and don’ts for a new relationship can help you stop second-guessing yourself. It gives you a vague blueprint about what needs to be done, and it can enhance your bond further.

  • Have realistic expectations

For a relationship to work, it is essential to be emotionally and mentally strong. You also have to be compromising and understanding. It’s not necessary that what you want in a relationship is the same as what your partner wants. So, be realistic about situations.

You can both have different thoughts and opinions, like how often you should text in a new relationship. While one person could enjoy the attention, the other appreciates space. So, it is crucial to find a middle ground.

  • Show love and affection to your partner

You might have made a new boyfriend. And now you must be thinking about starting a new relationship with a man you’ve just developed feelings for. 

You must first remember to show love and affection to your partner to strengthen the bond between you both. You must give attention and time to your partner and make eye contact with him.

  • Don’t start talking about the future prematurely

When you start a new relationship, bombarding your partner with questions and plans for the future is not how relationships work. There is a big chance that you can put your partner off.

Every relationship requires time, and you cannot imagine your boyfriend being head over heels from day one. 

You should remember that you are new to this and just starting a relationship. It is okay to be on cloud nine. However, if the question, “How to have a good relationship?” lingers in your mind, you must know that it’s all about taking things slow, one thing at a time. 

  • Don’t mention fears prematurely

At the beginning of a relationship, you and your partner are still getting comfortable with each other. Therefore, one of the crucial new relationship dos and don’ts include not mentioning your fears prematurely. 

Allow your partner the chance to discover your fears and limitations gradually. Mentioning things at the get-go can make them feel intimidated and overwhelmed. 

You can mention your fears when they become relevant to the equation you share with them. 

  • Enjoy moments

One of the big dos and don’ts in a new relationship is enjoying the present moment. 

Don’t let your past experiences and concerns about the future take away the sheen of the exciting present you are sharing with your partner. 

The best part of a new relationship is often the excitement and fun that you can have with someone. The chemistry between you two should be your focus, not the stress and anxiety about the past and present. 

  • Communicate effectively

Entering a new relationship can seem daunting as it often involves opening up to someone and sharing your life with them. However, this can be a cakewalk if you let clear communication guide you through this process. 

Treat effective communication as one of the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship. It can make or break a relationship depending on whether you do it honestly, respectfully and openly.

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5 healthy boundaries every relationship needs this season



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Every relationship needs healthy boundaries.

Topics such as the boundaries you wish to have can save you from heartbreak down the road.

These are simple dos and donts that you expect your partner to abide by. They could be as simple as how you expect them to communicate to whether or not your relationship is exclusive.

Setting boundaries can determine the success or failure of your relationship.

Even as you enjoy the butterflies that materialize in your stomach at the sight of your new partner, consider talking about the following:

  • Communication style

This is very important information to give your partner. Tell them whether you like them to call or text, how often you need to hear from them, which pet names you like and which you don’t, etc. This will ensure that nobody gets offended when their communication preferences aren’t met.

In the same vein, talk about if and how you will address your relationship on social media. Some people are comfortable bearing it all online while others would like to keep it off social media.

  • What to do during conflict

Disagreements are inevitable and so, you need to know whether your partner needs time alone when they’re angry or they prefer to hash out your disagreement there and then. Communicate this clearly, preferably before you have your first fight, so that you know what is expected of you.

  • The type of commitment you want

To avoid any misunderstandings, clearly state what you expect as far as your relationship is concerned. Will you be exclusive or would you like an open relationship?

As you talk about commitment remember that you can’t change your partner. Even if you’ve clicked and you want different things from the relationship, it won’t end well. Be strong enough to let go if your expectations as far as commitment is concerned.

  • Intimacy

It’s very important to set sexual boundaries. Tell your partner what you like and don’t like in the bedroom, how often you’re comfortable having sex, what level of intimacy you like on a first date or in public and when you’re alone, etc. Do you mind holding hands while you’re out and about? Are you a chronic hugger?

A partner who won’t respect these boundaries or tries to coerce you to break them even when you try to remain adamant risks becoming abusive. This is a relationship red flag and you need to run.

  • Personal space

Tell your partner when you need personal space and what you require from them during this time. Do you need a few minutes alone when you wake up in the morning or do you like some quiet time when you come in from work?

Here’s just one of the examples on boundaries you should set early on in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel your partner is crossing your boundaries and making you uncomfortable. And remember, some boundaries can be negotiated such that you’re both happy and on the same page.

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4 best tips to avoid getting pregnant during s*x



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There are many ways to avoid pregnancy if you are having active sex.

Sperm can live inside your uterus for up to 5 days after having sex, and pregnancy can only occur if there is sperm in your uterus or fallopian tubes when you ovulate.

You have many tools to prevent pregnancy. Birth control options are plentiful, but some work better than others. The key is to make sure you’re using them the right way.

Here’s what you can do:

  • You’re on birth control

Hormonal birth control methods such as the pill, patch, ring, implant, shot, or IUD significantly decrease your chances of getting pregnant, but they don’t eliminate your chances.

These experts say methods work in various ways. For example, IUDs block sperm from reaching the egg, while the pill, ring, and patch prevent ovulation.

  • You’re on your period

While it’s not impossible to get pregnant while on your period, your chances are pretty slim. 

Your lowest chance of getting pregnant while on your period is during the first day of bleeding. But the chances increase with each passing day as you get closer to your ovulation window. If your typical menstrual cycle is close to the average 28- to 30-day cycle, then the likelihood of getting pregnant while on your period is low. But if your cycle is shorter, your chances of getting pregnant while on your period go up.

  • You use the ‘pull-out’ method

The pull-out method may be the world’s oldest form of birth control.

The pull-out method, also known as withdrawal, involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation.

While some studies have found that withdrawal can be as high as 96% effective with perfect use, it isn’t easy to maintain perfect use with this method. 

  • You use a condom

When using a condom to avoid pregnancy (or sexually transmitted infections, for that matter), it’s vital to use it correctly. Correct usage means the condom is rolled onto the penis (or inserted into the vagina in the case of internal or female condoms) before there’s any contact between genitals and skin. 

According to research, the chance of getting pregnant with male condoms is about 18%, and with female condoms, it’s 21%. With perfect condom use every single time, those odds decrease to 2%.

Some nursing parents use the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM) or “breastfeeding method” to prevent pregnancy after giving birth. LAM as a form of birth control relies on the temporary pause in ovulation that often accompanies breastfeeding in the first several months postpartum.

While breastfeeding, the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for getting your period each month, is suppressed experts say, hence, preventing pregnancy.

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