I’ve been married for four years, and my spouse lives in another country. Our marriage was not consummated after our wedding, and he returned to his job in another country. I returned to India. When he returned after 10 months, I recognised he was medically unsuitable to have sex. My spouse is sterile.
I discovered I was in a sexless marriage. It was quite disheartening to see how inept he was. I attempted to ask him about his problem and if we could talk about it, but he is not interested in talking about it. Is impotence a cause of divorce?
I’ve heard that erectile dysfunction leads to divorce. But I had no idea how to deal with my impotent spouse and sexless marriage because there was no way to communicate about it. How might I assist my hubby with his impotence? I had no idea since he had made the subject of sex completely off-limits.
Because of my husband’s impotence, I’m having an affair.
I am now in a relationship with another individual who sexually delights me. I had no choice but to become involved since I couldn’t stand my sexless marriage any longer. I understand that erectile problems and wife affairs are frequent, but I am unable to deal with the stress this is causing me.
However, I am quite concerned about this connection. Please provide a solution. How should I proceed? Is it possible to heal an impotent man?
Dear Perplexed Lady,
I absolutely understand your disappointment at not being able to finalise your marriage. But did this scenario arise after the wedding, or was it present from the start?
What you could do is as follows.
Is the husband’s medical condition irreversible?
Is your husband’s medical condition, in which he is physically unable to have sex, permanent? If you answered yes, you should consider what you desire. Can you live with this for the rest of your life?
If you can get your husband, who I know is unwilling to talk with you about this, to consult a therapist, he could open up about the problem.
Stress, trauma, or medicine that he is taking can all cause erectile dysfunction. If he consults a doctor or a sexologist, there may be some hope at the end of the tunnel.
An affair provides momentary relief.
While you have been indulging your sexual need with another individual, keep in mind that you still have a husband to return to. Living a double life causes tension and worry. Something you’re already unable to handle. If your affair continues for an extended period of time, it may cause more worry than pleasure.
To stay married or to divorce
You’ve been married for four years, and your husband lives far away. If your bodily requirements are not satisfied, this may not offer you anything in the long term. Please consult with the family elders and seek their support after making a choice.
Yes, erectile dysfunction and an unfinished marriage might be grounds for divorce, but you should consult with a lawyer about this.
Remember, this is your life. Seek answers rather than difficulties. There is no doubt that living a sexless marriage is difficult, but having an affair is not a solution.
