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My pregnant wife died in her sleep after ignoring her for days



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I am a 30-year-old man and I am going crazy right now. I am writing out of anger. My wife just died and I am so annoyed at what she did to me.

We got married 10 months ago. Before that, we dated for 8 years. Before marriage, I had the same basic salary as my wife, which was very small. Fortunately, my wife earned about four times more than her salary as allowances from work, so it helped a lot. My wife was the only child and her family who are well to do so they don’t pressure us on anything but rather give us. I, on the other hand, have a large family of parents, older and younger siblings, and adopted children to support. In all honesty, I relied mostly on my wife for support and sustenance, and I expected things to continue like that after marriage until I find a better job.

Just a month after marriage, my wife complained of severe abdominal pain. I just thought she was simply trying to dodge housework since most women become reluctant after they get the ring, so I told her to stop being lazy. We went to the hospital at her insistence after some days, and we found out she was pregnant. I was very sad because I wanted to wait for a year or two to have children and use that time to support my elder brother, save some money to travel outside, and have some other family issues. I remember I didn’t talk to my wife for close to three weeks when we found out about the pregnancy. I was upset at her. But that was just the beginning of my issues.

Right from the day we found out about the pregnancy, things changed. Wifey started getting lazy. She can vomit from morning to evening. I would return from work and meet her in the toilet or in bed. When I ask for my dinner, she will tell me she couldn’t even stand, so she didn’t cook. I got so annoyed that I always fight with her or stopped talking to her for days. At night she won’t sleep and will be tossing and turning or vomiting, so I can’t sleep either. She stopped using feminine hygiene products because she said the smell made her vomit. Sometimes she won’t even bathe because when she stands she will fall, and she couldn’t walk to the bathroom without support.

I have seen lots of pregnant women but my wife was too much. She just did not want to do anything. She can’t sit, she can’t stand, she can’t walk, she can’t sleep and can’t even lie down. Worse of all she totally stopped cooking because everything made her vomit, even water. She wasn’t eating so she didn’t want me to eat as well. When I talk, she will just start crying. Even when I bring food home too the smell would makes her vomit. I was frustrated. The worst is that she couldn’t go to work anymore so she wasn’t making the allowances I was expecting her to bring to supplement our income and my family was pressuring me with their needs that I had to sort out.

I thought after the first trimester things would improve but no. It got worse that she had to be hospitalised. Thankfully her mother sort out that bills. When she was discharged I was expecting her to go to work because the vomiting was better but she started to complain of severe waist pain, high blood pressure and swelling all over and then she said she couldn’t walk anymore. By this time cooking and washing and other house chores and even sex was out of the picture. All she does all day is stay in bed crying or vomiting. She said I smelled too. I spoke to my mom about it and she told me my wife is just being lazy and too weak. I kept telling wifey to get up, women have 3 and 4 children. She needed to make herself strong but she won’t listen and just cry. I told her to use my mom as an example but she won’t listen. I always see pregnant women even running and going about life like normal. Wifey just wanted to be lazy. My mom was never like that when pregnant. The economic situation at home was also getting worse.

Sometimes she will go stay with her mother for a few days and return stronger and brighter. When she returns, we even get to have sex and she cooks, but then she decides to get lazy on me again. I really suffered a lot. No food, no sex, no washing and no financial contribution to the house. She was practically useless. The room was dirty, all my clothes were dirty, the bathroom smelled, the kitchen was empty, and what hurt the most is no dinner. I don’t talk to her for days, and all she does is cry.

Yesterday I returned home and saw her lying in bed crying. As usual, no food. I ignored her, as I have been doing for days, and went to look for kenkey to eat outside. I ate my food and watched TV. I returned to bed at midnight. She was crying louder and calling me, the same me that she said I smelled bad, but I just slept. When I woke up this morning, I went to bath and prepared for work. She was finally asleep. I returned from work today to find her still lying the same way. I have had enough. If she won’t bathe, at least she should change the clothes she has been wearing for three days straight, and she has also peed on the mattress. I was so annoyed. I called her but she wouldn’t wake up. I hit her, but she won’t wake up. I called some neighbors and we took her to the hospital. The doctor said she died about 12 hours ago.

This is not a joke, I am so annoyed at her now. How can she put a such a financial burden on me now. She just refused to try and help herself throughout the pregnancy and now when she just has a week to due she does this? How do I explain to people that my wife died because she was being lazy? Did I just endure 9 months for nothing? I don’t even know what to say.


How to start a new relationship: 6 tips to make it work this year



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Starting a new relationship can be quite tricky yet exciting at the same time.

You will be excited at the prospect of someone loving you and caring for you, taking time for you.

The start of a relationship might probably be the best time of your life as you are starting a new relationship. However, as excited as you might be, it is crucial to know what to do in a new relationship and what not to do in a new relationship.

How to make it work

If you understand the dos and don’ts of new relationships, it will be easier for you to move forward and form a healthy relationship with your partner.

It would help if you respected each other’s independence and choices. Although it is alright to keep in touch, be aware of each other’s whereabouts, and communicate, continuously pinging each other can also suffocate at times.

It is just that how to start a relationship can be quite complicated and tricky and requires lots of effort. Once you get used to it and know about your partner, it is easier to form a healthy relationship.

Dos and don’ts for a new relationship can help you stop second-guessing yourself. It gives you a vague blueprint about what needs to be done, and it can enhance your bond further.

  • Have realistic expectations

For a relationship to work, it is essential to be emotionally and mentally strong. You also have to be compromising and understanding. It’s not necessary that what you want in a relationship is the same as what your partner wants. So, be realistic about situations.

You can both have different thoughts and opinions, like how often you should text in a new relationship. While one person could enjoy the attention, the other appreciates space. So, it is crucial to find a middle ground.

  • Show love and affection to your partner

You might have made a new boyfriend. And now you must be thinking about starting a new relationship with a man you’ve just developed feelings for. 

You must first remember to show love and affection to your partner to strengthen the bond between you both. You must give attention and time to your partner and make eye contact with him.

  • Don’t start talking about the future prematurely

When you start a new relationship, bombarding your partner with questions and plans for the future is not how relationships work. There is a big chance that you can put your partner off.

Every relationship requires time, and you cannot imagine your boyfriend being head over heels from day one. 

You should remember that you are new to this and just starting a relationship. It is okay to be on cloud nine. However, if the question, “How to have a good relationship?” lingers in your mind, you must know that it’s all about taking things slow, one thing at a time. 

  • Don’t mention fears prematurely

At the beginning of a relationship, you and your partner are still getting comfortable with each other. Therefore, one of the crucial new relationship dos and don’ts include not mentioning your fears prematurely. 

Allow your partner the chance to discover your fears and limitations gradually. Mentioning things at the get-go can make them feel intimidated and overwhelmed. 

You can mention your fears when they become relevant to the equation you share with them. 

  • Enjoy moments

One of the big dos and don’ts in a new relationship is enjoying the present moment. 

Don’t let your past experiences and concerns about the future take away the sheen of the exciting present you are sharing with your partner. 

The best part of a new relationship is often the excitement and fun that you can have with someone. The chemistry between you two should be your focus, not the stress and anxiety about the past and present. 

  • Communicate effectively

Entering a new relationship can seem daunting as it often involves opening up to someone and sharing your life with them. However, this can be a cakewalk if you let clear communication guide you through this process. 

Treat effective communication as one of the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship. It can make or break a relationship depending on whether you do it honestly, respectfully and openly.

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5 healthy boundaries every relationship needs this season



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Every relationship needs healthy boundaries.

Topics such as the boundaries you wish to have can save you from heartbreak down the road.

These are simple dos and donts that you expect your partner to abide by. They could be as simple as how you expect them to communicate to whether or not your relationship is exclusive.

Setting boundaries can determine the success or failure of your relationship.

Even as you enjoy the butterflies that materialize in your stomach at the sight of your new partner, consider talking about the following:

  • Communication style

This is very important information to give your partner. Tell them whether you like them to call or text, how often you need to hear from them, which pet names you like and which you don’t, etc. This will ensure that nobody gets offended when their communication preferences aren’t met.

In the same vein, talk about if and how you will address your relationship on social media. Some people are comfortable bearing it all online while others would like to keep it off social media.

  • What to do during conflict

Disagreements are inevitable and so, you need to know whether your partner needs time alone when they’re angry or they prefer to hash out your disagreement there and then. Communicate this clearly, preferably before you have your first fight, so that you know what is expected of you.

  • The type of commitment you want

To avoid any misunderstandings, clearly state what you expect as far as your relationship is concerned. Will you be exclusive or would you like an open relationship?

As you talk about commitment remember that you can’t change your partner. Even if you’ve clicked and you want different things from the relationship, it won’t end well. Be strong enough to let go if your expectations as far as commitment is concerned.

  • Intimacy

It’s very important to set sexual boundaries. Tell your partner what you like and don’t like in the bedroom, how often you’re comfortable having sex, what level of intimacy you like on a first date or in public and when you’re alone, etc. Do you mind holding hands while you’re out and about? Are you a chronic hugger?

A partner who won’t respect these boundaries or tries to coerce you to break them even when you try to remain adamant risks becoming abusive. This is a relationship red flag and you need to run.

  • Personal space

Tell your partner when you need personal space and what you require from them during this time. Do you need a few minutes alone when you wake up in the morning or do you like some quiet time when you come in from work?

Here’s just one of the examples on boundaries you should set early on in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel your partner is crossing your boundaries and making you uncomfortable. And remember, some boundaries can be negotiated such that you’re both happy and on the same page.

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4 best tips to avoid getting pregnant during s*x



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There are many ways to avoid pregnancy if you are having active sex.

Sperm can live inside your uterus for up to 5 days after having sex, and pregnancy can only occur if there is sperm in your uterus or fallopian tubes when you ovulate.

You have many tools to prevent pregnancy. Birth control options are plentiful, but some work better than others. The key is to make sure you’re using them the right way.

Here’s what you can do:

  • You’re on birth control

Hormonal birth control methods such as the pill, patch, ring, implant, shot, or IUD significantly decrease your chances of getting pregnant, but they don’t eliminate your chances.

These experts say methods work in various ways. For example, IUDs block sperm from reaching the egg, while the pill, ring, and patch prevent ovulation.

  • You’re on your period

While it’s not impossible to get pregnant while on your period, your chances are pretty slim. 

Your lowest chance of getting pregnant while on your period is during the first day of bleeding. But the chances increase with each passing day as you get closer to your ovulation window. If your typical menstrual cycle is close to the average 28- to 30-day cycle, then the likelihood of getting pregnant while on your period is low. But if your cycle is shorter, your chances of getting pregnant while on your period go up.

  • You use the ‘pull-out’ method

The pull-out method may be the world’s oldest form of birth control.

The pull-out method, also known as withdrawal, involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation.

While some studies have found that withdrawal can be as high as 96% effective with perfect use, it isn’t easy to maintain perfect use with this method. 

  • You use a condom

When using a condom to avoid pregnancy (or sexually transmitted infections, for that matter), it’s vital to use it correctly. Correct usage means the condom is rolled onto the penis (or inserted into the vagina in the case of internal or female condoms) before there’s any contact between genitals and skin. 

According to research, the chance of getting pregnant with male condoms is about 18%, and with female condoms, it’s 21%. With perfect condom use every single time, those odds decrease to 2%.

Some nursing parents use the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM) or “breastfeeding method” to prevent pregnancy after giving birth. LAM as a form of birth control relies on the temporary pause in ovulation that often accompanies breastfeeding in the first several months postpartum.

While breastfeeding, the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for getting your period each month, is suppressed experts say, hence, preventing pregnancy.

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