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My wife has denied me sex for 5 years. Is there a way to save my marriage?

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This is a delicate subject that is tough to discuss. But I’ve gotten desperate, and the two counselors we’ve met haven’t done anything to assist. My wife was a rape victim. I was quite tolerant of her when she told me after we started dating. My father-in-law’s close friend molested her when she was 12 years old. The man is currently being held in Nsawam jail. He’s been there for all of these years.

My wife’s family made the error of not consulting a psychologist for her after she had such a horrible occurrence in her youth. She became a very shy girl who kept mostly to herself. She even admitted to me that she had acquired a fear of males and that she couldn’t go anywhere alone. She would not go until she is accompanied.

I was the first male she had ever dated. Even with that, it was far from easy. She was warm and chatty with me one minute then nasty and withdrawn the next. She refused to speak to me or any other man. It took me a long time to get her to open up to me. Nothing occurred the first time we attempted to have s*x.

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She couldn’t get wet, and she couldn’t communicate with me. I believed she wasn’t interested in me at first, but she told me about her upbringing and I pledged to assist her. That’s when we went to visit our first therapist. I was paying for it, and the reality is that things improved after a few months, and we were able to have s*x despite the difficulties.

We didn’t have sx too much during our relationship period because of how sensitive the matter was. It is tough to cure psychological difficulties. The counselling was effective, although there were several setbacks. To cut a long tale short, we married. During our honeymoon, she refused to have any sort of penetrative sx. She made the decision the minute we arrived at our hotel after the ceremony, and I didn’t want to start the wedding night with an argument, so I focused on other things. We went out a lot and had a lot of fun at night, despite the fact that she wouldn’t let me use my joystick.

We performed some oral work, which was a lot of fun. When she was OK, I would m*sturbate to relieve the strain. After the honeymoon, I took my time with her and waited for her to warm up to me, but she still didn’t want us to do the actual thing, even if we were doing it while courting. She had been seeing a psychologist all along, but there had been no progress.

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I contacted yet another therapist. Her sessions were more expensive, but I accepted them since I wanted my wife to improve and open up to me. Within the first year of therapy, she began to allow us to have s*x again, even becoming wet and initiating the lovemaking was a problem. She became pregnant as a result of this and gave birth to a daughter. My wife relapsed after delivery. She stopped sleeping next to me on the bed because it was so unpleasant.

She was appalled by the sight of me, and no matter what I tried, it didn’t work. The counselling sessions continued for about two years after that, and the results were the same. As a result, I stopped paying for it, and she stopped attending. I went two years without having s*x with my wife or anybody else after our baby was born. She wouldn’t let me hug, cuddle, or even kiss her.

I recall one day when I was in such a good mood that I was able to persuade her. Even though she ordered me to stop, I began removing her clothes. Then she screamed that I was raping her, and I came to a halt. She stopped sleeping in our bedroom after that and moved her belongings into the spare room. I had pledged to be patient with her, but I couldn’t. It had gotten to the point where we couldn’t even sit down and converse as husband and wife without arguing. I began to spend more time outside.

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She doesn’t mind if I arrive home late. After work, I began driving around, meeting young females and having sx with them. Being denied sx by my own wife for over three years had an impact on me. But every time I sleep with these young females, I feel guilty and swear I’ll never do it again.

When I get home and try to begin something with my wife, she will fight with me about it. I’m not sure whether there are any rape victims listed on the page. Can rape eliminate your sexual impulses to the point that you can go years without having s*x and be fine? Our kid will turn five in December. My wife and I haven’t done it since she was born. I’d like to have another child. We considered having at least three children, and she agreed.

I questioned her about having another kid. She stated that she has no desire for sx, so if I can agree and pay for artificial insemination, she will be fine with it. I have the ability to do artificial insemination. But why should we put ourselves through that when we can have sx, have fun, and produce babies? I am currently on the point of divorcing her. My tolerance has now run out, but I’d like to know if there’s one more option to rescue my marriage.

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To rekindle my wife’s affection for me. We don’t bathe together as much as we used to. We even don’t sleep in the same bed. I still love her, but I don’t think any married man can go years without sleeping with a woman he married. It’s quite difficult. I haven’t cheated on her in over five months. I dislike doing it and do not wish to do it again. However, this implies I haven’t had any sex. I’ve told her how badly she’s torturing me, and all I want is for her to let me make love to her. I discussed the situation with her parents. They only told me to be patient with her and to comprehend what she went through as a youngster. But I gave it my all.

As a married guy without affection from the lady I love, I am hurting. Divorce is the only answer I see right now. I’ve done everything I possibly could for her. I can’t make her open her legs for me. I feel fortunate to have a daughter from our marriage. The notion of my wife being a lesbian has entered my mind countless times, but she hasn’t shown any evidence of it. She simply does not enjoy sx, whether with a guy or a woman. We were arguing one day when she told me that her feelings had died. She has no desire for sx for anyone, and I’m not the issue.

My people help me. I’m at a loss for what to do. I’m not sure what else will make her change after 7 years of marriage and numerous years of counselling with two different therapists. I apologise for the lengthy post, but I’m anxious for answers.

Source: Anonymous Confessions

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How my husband sex trafficked me for 13 years

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When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party. "It's going to be fun." She said. "Sure. "I would love to." I didn't have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone's attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

I learned that life was unfair at an early age, and in the worst way conceivable. My stepfather used to sexually assault me, and when I eventually had the bravery to denounce him, he received only three months of treatment as punishment and was allowed to live with me again.

My mother brought him back for financial reasons, but she kept us apart. They slept below, while we slept above. Nevertheless, I was traumatised and lived in terror. As if I hadn’t gone through enough pain, I met a man who I believed loved me and who sex trafficked me.

When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party.

“It’s going to be fun.” She said.

“Sure. “I would love to.”

I didn’t have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone’s attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

“Hello, Greg. I invite you to meet my buddy Wendy. “Wendy, this is Greg.” She spoke to the guy.

Greg turned to me, smiled, and extended his hand before saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

At that point, my knees were weak. My heart began beating, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Can I get your number?” He asked.

“Sure,” I responded and handed it to him.

I didn’t expect him to call, but later that night he did, and we spoke for hours. That was the start of a relationship that led to my being sex trafficked.

Greg understood how to make me feel appreciated, which is all I wanted. We became amorous quickly, and I fell pregnant soon after. I had been under my mother’s care since I was 17 years old when I had my child. Greg demanded that I leave my mother’s house so that we could make our relationship work.

“How am I going to do that?” I asked.

“I’ve got a plan. You may relocate to a shelter, where they will consider you emancipated from your parents, and then you will be eligible for welfare checks, and we will be able to get an apartment and live happily ever after.” He explained.

At the time, it seemed like a fairy tale, and I was all in. I ran away from home, and Greg took me and my kid to a shelter. However, life at the shelter was not as easy as Greg made it appear.

It took long for me to receive my first welfare check, and I was running out of baby goods. So I contacted Greg and told him I needed money to take care of our child.

“Don’t worry, I have a job for us to do.” He said.

I assumed he meant cleaning people’s homes because that’s what he told me he did for money. So I picked up my kid and went to see him.

“What are we going to do?” I asked Greg.

“Well, you’re going to walk up this street, wait on that corner for a man to pick you up and you’ll have sex with that man in his car and he’ll pay you.” He explained without emotion.

I was perplexed and apprehensive, but he kept bringing up my daughter and insisting that if I loved her, I would do it. I felt like I had no option. My knees and hands shook as I proceeded to where he had instructed me to stand. As soon as I arrived, a car stopped in front of me, and the driver requested me to get in. That’s how my spouse started sex trafficking me.

“I know a place we can go in the woods.” He said.

I did not say anything. When we arrived in the woods, we both exited and walked to a private location where he began removing his clothing. I took off mine, we had sex, and he gave me the money before driving me back to where he had picked me up.

When I came out, I went to Greg, who was still standing in the same location and handed him all of the money.

“I love you.” I knew I had made the proper decision in choosing you as my wife. He said.

We went to purchase diapers and formula for the baby and had a little extra. However, a week later, we were out of diapers again.

That time, he encouraged me to take on two or three customers so that I might earn enough money to leave the shelter.

“Do you want your daughter to live in a shelter for the rest of her life?” He asked.

From there, he started one of the greatest prostitution networks in the region. It comprised four to ten females from various states. He sexually trafficked me for 13 years while I was still married to him. It varied from once a week to every other day, depending on how much money he received from the other females. I worked as a street girl, and escort, and made house calls. Not to add that I have two more children with him.

People continually questioned me why I stayed with him for so long, but no matter what I told them, they couldn’t comprehend what I was going through. Greg hooked us to drugs and physically abused us if we attempted to escape. He would also send the other girls to find any girl who had gone and beat her until she returned. I felt bonded to the other females since we weren’t permitted to have outside contact. So, anytime I managed to flee, I felt horrible and returned because I didn’t want them to suffer.

After 13 years, I was finally free of Greg. I had recently given birth and was in the kitchen making supper for us when I noticed police cruisers outside our house. The cops swooped in, arrested Greg, and detained me for interrogation.

However, I refused to talk to them because I was afraid Greg would beat me if he found out. Because I did not comply, they accused me of sex trafficking and sentenced me to 23 months in prison. Greg was also charged with sex trafficking and was sentenced to ten years in jail.

My children were removed while I was in prison, and because the judge in the custody case felt I was a sex trafficker, she promised that I would not be granted custody of my children. When I got out, I returned to school and earned an associate’s degree. In addition, I returned to the same judge who heard my custody case to request custody of my kid. I went with my attorneys, counsellors, and even the police officers who detained me to explain my situation to the court.

She returned my child to me, and I returned home to live with my mother, who sadly died later. Today, I feel comfortable and satisfied, which is a wonderful place to be. I’ve realised that there are individuals eager to help those who have faced the same hardships that I have, and if you’re going through anything similar, you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence.

This narrative is based on the Unfiltered Stories YouTube video.

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My parents don’t want me to marry her because she’s a mother of three

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She comes to our house and my parents treat her like royalty, but after she leaves, they gather around me and say, "Don't get it twisted. We will not let you marry a problem." My opinion of her has not altered, but I believe my parents are not being fair to her. Aside from that, they're making it impossible for me to let go of her.

My girlfriend has three children. She’s still stunning for a woman with three children. I adore her. We’ve been together for a year. My folks adored her when I brought her home. They freely conveyed their love and acceptance to her, making her feel welcome.

After she left, my parents began to inquire about her, and I told them everything, including the fact that she has three children. “No, you will not marry her,” my mother yelled. “If you want to take care of children, your brother and sister are still in school,” my father added. We may leave them there for you to continue.” She calls my folks, who are quite polite to her.

She comes to our house and my parents treat her like royalty, but after she leaves, they gather around me and say, “Don’t get it twisted. We will not let you marry a problem.” My opinion of her has not altered, but I believe my parents are not being fair to her. Aside from that, they’re making it impossible for me to let go of her.

What justification do I offer her for not wanting her? What should I say to persuade her that it’s not me but my parents?
She even gives my parents gifts, which they embrace enthusiastically and praise her for, but once she’s out of the picture, they laugh at me and urge me to forget it.

I’m at a loss for words in this circumstance. My girlfriend wants us to start planning our wedding. She is aware that everything is in place. When I tell her to give me some time, she blames me. What should I do to have this problem resolved?

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Reconsider settling down with her if she shows these 4 red flags 

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If she is rude to older folks, her peers, or even strangers. If her own parents haven't earned her respect, it begs the issue of what you could do to gain hers. If she treats everyone else with respect except you, it's just a matter of time until she includes you. She never makes concessions; it's either do it her way or don't do it at all. If she refuses to compromise and insists on doing things her way, it indicates an unhealthy interaction. Both members in a partnership should have a say and be prepared to make concessions. A relationship isn't about having a master; it's about working together.

Women aren’t perfect. Some of these are also red signs, and settling with someone who possesses these characteristics can be damaging to your happiness and mental health.

If you want to settle down with a lady who possesses these characteristics, you should think again.

When she is furious, instead of expressing herself, she tosses items at you and even slaps you.

You are fully aware that if you were the one doing this, you would be in big trouble, but she does it to you and expects you to accept it. Don’t put up with it and leave before you become a victim.

If she is rude to older folks, her peers, or even strangers. If her own parents haven’t earned her respect, it begs the issue of what you could do to gain hers.

If she treats everyone else with respect except you, it’s just a matter of time until she includes you.

She never makes concessions; it’s either do it her way or don’t do it at all. If she refuses to compromise and insists on doing things her way, it indicates an unhealthy interaction.

Both members in a partnership should have a say and be prepared to make concessions. A relationship isn’t about having a master; it’s about working together.

It’s a red flag if she continuously blames others for her misfortunes and refuses to accept responsibility for her actions.

Partnerships thrive on shared accountability and responsibility. A person who is constantly the victim will not contribute to personal or social progress.

If you observe these warning signals, it’s critical to have open talks and, if necessary, seek professional help, but if all efforts fail, it’s time to gracefully go.

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