We met at a church prayer camp and then dated for one and a half years before getting married. My wife is a church Bible reader and translator. I worked as an usher. When I explained my intentions to her, she told me to give her a week to consider my proposal to date her and that she would respond the following Sunday. The next Sunday, after service, I was invited into one of the pastors’ offices and subjected to what I can only describe as an interrogation. I was 33 years old, and my wife was 32.
I had seen a nice woman at church who I was interested in, so I didn’t understand everything they were asking me. I had the impression that I was being screened for something. My wife was nowhere to be found. These pastors were forcing me to quote scriptures, asking me how many souls I had won for Christ, and if I was a consistent thither.
It was question after question. But it was eventually over, and they told me she would accept my proposal. I asked her why she had to inform the church’s pastors when it wasn’t even a marriage proposal when we started dating and became very free. Dating is about determining whether or not we are compatible. The pastors, she claimed, were her fathers. Meanwhile, I’ve observed how she communicates with her father and these pastors. That was a major red flag, but I chose to ignore it. Then there were the prayer meetings, which she attended almost every evening.
We fought about it all the way until we got married. She began to stare at me strangely. As if I were the antichrist. I should have called off my plans to marry her around that time. But everyone thought I was overreacting and complaining excessively. Everyone else saw her as a God-fearing, submissive, and hardworking woman, and I was fortunate that she agreed to marry me.
So we tied the knot. Then the real problems began. I’m not one of those men who expect their wives to treat them as if they’re beneath them. I believe in respect for one another. I’ve tried to show her respect and love, but she always prioritises her spiritual fathers over our marriage. My wife had just given birth to our son and was leaving the baby to attend church in the evening. A baby under the age of three months who required breastmilk.
That’s when I started getting irritated. I began to prevent her from leaving the house. I even changed our main door keys, and she had to tell me where she was going before I let her go. Then she began praying at midnight and invoking curses on me and my entire family. I stopped going to church with my wife when our son turned one year old. They had brainwashed her, and I didn’t want the child to become like his mother.
After we joined a more progressive Charismatic church, I filed for divorce. Divorce, according to my wife and her spiritual fathers, is a demonic thing, and God despises divorce. They have hurled insults at me and threatened to curse me if I proceed with the divorce. My son is very young, and his mother is fighting for custody, and she has a better chance of winning than I do. I don’t want her to be in charge of my son’s upbringing. She will pollute him, turn him against me, and ruin my relationship with my son.
A friend has advised me to stay in the marriage for a few more years and put up with my wife’s attitude because I will lose a lot if I divorce her now. I require your assistance. Some of our marriages and wives are being destroyed by over-religiosity. I need advice on what to do. If I divorce her, she will undoubtedly inherit a large portion of my hard-earned property, but I am more concerned about her raising my innocent son. So, what should I do now?
