Dating can be a lot of fun. With social media and apps making it possible to meet someone with the press of a button, getting a date is often easier than summoning the guts to ask someone out in person.
Dating success can set the path for future happy and healthy partnerships.
The tricky aspect is that we all (including me) bring our best selves on dates. Especially on first dates. We arrive happy and pleasant, and any red signals are frequently pushed under the rug.
Nobody is flawless, and we all have imperfections, but keeping an eye out for these ten qualities might spare you a lot of sorrow if your relationship isn’t as great as it appears.
They’re always on their phone (or are sneaky with it)
Even in the most romantic of scenarios, your date may need to be on their phone at some point. They may need to interrupt a beautiful meal to take an important business call, or they may need to break a movie night to chat with their grandmother.
But imagine you’re holding hands and viewing a gorgeous sunset with your spouse when you turn to them…They’re also on TikTok.
They try and play mind games and make you jealous
If you feel like you’re playing mental chess with the person you’re dating, they’re probably not the one.
We see a lot of it: she takes four hours to respond to a text, and you take five. He posts a narrative about having a good time at the club, and you upload a steamy thirst trap to show him what he’s missing.
However, genuine and healthy relationships almost never involve gaming.
They pin all their self-worth and happiness on your relationship
It could feel great at first. They are continually telling you that your presence in their lives is the finest thing that has ever happened to them. They see you as the centre of their universe. One text message from you brightens their day.
But then you forget to send that text message, and everything falls apart.
They try and isolate you from your friends and family
Honeymoon periods are popular. Early on, you may find yourself wanting to spend every second with your date.
However, be wary of anyone who attempts to prevent you from spending time with your family and friends. This might be an indication of controlling behaviour, which could lead to you being isolated from everyone except your spouse and being in an abusive and poisonous relationship.
They’re flirty with other people
When it comes to romantic limits, everyone has their own set of rules.
Someone who is extremely tactile, feely, and flirtatious with other people, on the other hand, is often a red sign if it makes you uncomfortable.
I’d want to tell you differently, but after witnessing my own ex snuggling up and making eyes at a lady at a bar with the excuse of “That’s just who I am, I flirt with everyone,” only to discover a year of infidelity, I’d suggest avoiding highly flirty people.
They’re disrespectful towards other people
When they’re with you, they could be a real darling. However, they are disrespectful to the waitress. Or even to their mother. They also kick kittens.
Hopefully, no kitten-kicking occurs, but seeing how a person treats people around them might provide insight into their actual nature.
Consider how your date treats others (including animals), and avoid those who are rude or nasty.
They try and force you to be intimate
There’s a lot of debate these days about whether it’s appropriate to be intimate, especially in the early stages of dating.
There is, however, no correct response.
Whatever the reason, if someone attempts to compel you to do something you’re not comfortable with, or before you’re comfortable with it, avoid it.
They don’t brush their teeth
Okay, this one may seem obvious, but overall hygiene is essential.
We don’t all go to the dentist as often as we should (I haven’t in over a year), but someone who neglects basic hygiene and sanitation, such as cleaning their teeth or washing, is typically a no-go.
You must be able to take care of yourself in order to be in a successful relationship.
They call all their exes ‘crazy’
If you see a pattern where every ex your date mentions is labelled as ‘crazy,’ it’s generally a hint that they’re the one who’s insane. Or that their previous behaviour was enough to drive these people to act in desperate ways.
My ex’s exes were all ‘crazy’. They searched his phone for his whereabouts, smelt his pillows, and looked beneath the bed for hair strands. They were insane.
They can’t accept blame or apologize
Everyone makes errors.
There will undoubtedly be moments when mistakes are made, especially in partnerships. It might range from tee-totaling your partner’s automobile to washing all of their white garments with a bright pink towel.
What counts most of the time is not the error itself, but how the blame and apologies are handled.
A person who is unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions is a major red flag, especially if they try to shift the blame on you. Avoid dating someone who cannot admit and apologise for their faults.
