Relationship
People judge me for being HIV+ until they find out how I got it
I’m HIV+, well I used to hide it when I was in Ghana four years ago because of the stigma and illiteracy. Recently, I saw the newspaper headlines on social media about the number of HIV cases recorded within six months and I was shocked. The level of carelessness and mere disregard for our well-being as young people always baffles me.
But then not all the positive cases came as a result of carelessness or a reckless attitude. In my case, I was a victim, a naive victim who trusted my husband for years and never saw any signs that will make me doubt him. The day I realised what had happened and the harm that had been caused, I nearly attempted suicide.
I left a short note to my family to blame my husband for my death. But after writing down whatever it is I wrote, I couldn’t bring myself to hanging myself in the room. I thought about my mother and my family who loved me so much and I just broke down in pain.
The years that will follow would be a roller coaster ride that will strengthen me in becoming the HIV advocate that I am today. I got married in 2016, I was 28 years of age and we had been in a relationship for two years. I was working hard to keep my catering start-up running and he was a public servant. We were happy, we were in love. We trusted each other as every married couple should.
When we were going to get married, we did a lot of medical checks. We even did that on our own to find out if we were compatible. We knew our genotypes, but we checked them again to be very sure. I got pregnant in the year 2017 and it was through the pregnancy that the doctor found out I was HIV+.
Apparently, the hospital did tests that I didn’t know of and the doctor claimed I was showing certain symptoms that weren’t just hormonal so she did all the tests necessary. When she told me, I was so sure it was a mistake that I asked for another test to be done and it came out positive again.
I went to another hospital to check and it was the same. I told my husband about my test and after acting innocent and telling me it must have been a mistake, he turned it on me and told me to open up to him if I had cheated on him.
He was gaslighting the whole situation, turning it all on me. I have never cheated on him and he knew it. I encouraged him to go and check his status. He looked at me blankly like he wanted to say something like he already knew.
Then he told me to forgive him. He said he found out just a few weeks ago and I was already pregnant so it wasn’t as if he could do anything about it. He told me he cheated just once, it was with a girl he met at a tour about six months ago.
He travelled to Dubai for a few days with a travel and tour company. It wasn’t his first time. It was something he did almost yearly even before he met me. This was for a few days, so I couldn’t object to it because if I did, it will become a fight and I didn’t want that. So my husband went to Dubai, met a girl and had unprotected sex with her.
I was distraught. I didn’t know who to turn to. He couldn’t bare to see me in the pain I was in so he left home and went somewhere I don’t know. He switched his phone off and his own family couldn’t reach him after I told them the cause of our separation.
I lost my pregnancy a few weeks after that and this plunged me further into depression until I got to the point where I wanted to end my life so that I wouldn’t feel the pain anymore.
Thankfully, my family came to my aid. My cousins and siblings helped me out of the pain. I went through a lot of counselling and I was educated that this is not a death sentence. I started taking ARVs and then I had an opportunity to go to the US through one NGO I started working with.
My advocacy started in the US. I was tired of being silent about my status. When I tell people I’m HIV+, they judge me, especially the African community in the US. But when I narrate my story to them, they feel pity for me. I don’t need pity, I want to educate everyone I encounter that HIV is real.
Being married or being in a committed relationship doesn’t guarantee that you will stay negative. How well do you trust your spouse? I’m officially divorced now. My husband has tried to reach out to ask for my forgiveness. But this is the issue with Africans.
We hurt people in irreparable ways and we expect that the people will forgive us just because we show remorse. That’s just not it. My ex-husband is on the top of the list of my regrets in life. I don’t know what forgiveness is. I have moved on.
Now my family home in Ghana, I want y’all to take responsibility for your health. Life is too precious. The numbers on the frontpage of that newspaper is incredibly devastating. Education should increase, advocacy should increase.
Condoms, Prep and other protective sexual methods should be loud everywhere. Come on folks, enough of the politics, these are issues we need to talk about more. I will be visiting Ghana soon and I hope to add my voice to this call. Stay blessed y’all.
Source: Anonymous Confessions
Relationship
I slept with 300 people in a year – detractors call me ‘disgusting,’ but I feel powerful
An Australian lady who claims to have had sex with over 300 individuals in one year described the experience as “empowering.”
Annie Knight, 26, said on “The Kyle and Jackie O Show” that she even slept with five individuals in a single day during the wild, fun-filled year.
“I felt empowered afterwards,” the adoring Australian said. “Sex makes me happy. Its purpose is to make you feel wonderful.”
Knight had sex with both men and women, and she told the radio show that she met many of her sex partners using dating apps. She does, however, have a list of “regulars” on the fast dial for when she feels like getting down and dirty.
“The messier the sex, the better,” she said.
Knight, called “Australia’s most sexually active woman,” went on to state that nothing is off limits when it comes to experimenting in the bedroom, stating, “I’m down to try anything.”
However, not everyone is thrilled by Knight’s open love of sex, with one detractor calling her “disgusting.”
Knight, who maintains an OnlyFans account, was also sacked from her marketing position when her superiors discovered her lewd online behaviour.
The sex fanatic told “The Kyle and Jackie O Show” that her website has plenty of kinky stuff since she performs “pretty much everything” on video.
Knight recently made news after speaking out about being fired from a separate site.
“The last thing I wanted to do was to get fired if someone found my OnlyFans,” she said on “SBS Insight” a few weeks ago.
“There was a list of three reasons why I was fired basically,” Knight explained, adding that she was “very upset and very angry” at her employer’s decision to fire her.
“They said I falsely advised that I had a side business, didn’t ask for permission from the company to run the side business and that I had online pornographic images of myself and crude language that was against company rules,” she went on to say.
Relationship
Some unusual qualities men want in a woman
When it comes to women, what does a man want? To a significant extent, the solution is and will continue to be a mystery.
But it hasn’t prevented scientists from trying to solve the mystery of human attraction.
On the one hand, each man has his own tastes. Qualities and features that are desirable to one guy may not be appealing to another.
However, research has discovered that many men have one trait: they prefer to believe their initial impressions. And those early moments have a significant influence on their level of attraction to certain women.
Of course, some women are born with the ability to make a terrific first impression with little to no effort, while others must work a little more.
Here are five characteristics that men find particularly appealing in women, according to a study.
Natural-looking makeup, including eye makeup and lipstick
Some males remark that they prefer women who do not wear makeup because they appear more natural. However, according to a Zoosk poll, 139 of 1,200 women who applied eye makeup in their profile photo were more likely to receive responses from males. Men were also more likely to desire to meet a lady if her profile photo included lipstick.
Women who wear “darker” cosmetics, on the other hand, were less likely to be asked out. Even if men claim they prefer women who appear “natural,” this implies you may wear “natural” cosmetics and still attract guys.
Also, fellas, it’s quite OK to remark that your girl looks great with winged eyeliner and red lipstick.
The ideal waist-to-hip ratio
This choice is based on health and fertility rather than appearance.
“Evidence also shows that waist-to-hip ratio is a strong indicator of a woman’s oestrogen levels, risk of obesity, and susceptibility to major diseases such as diabetes, ovarian cancer, and heart disease,” according to the study.
Dressing in red clothes
The colour red represents passion. It’s no surprise that males find it appealing. In a research conducted by psychologists at the University of Rochester, men were given images of various women with framed borders of either red or white and were asked how attractive they thought the ladies were.
They were then given an identical photo with the ladies dressed in either red or blue and asked how much they would spend on a date with that woman. Women who were framed in red or wore red were more likely to be considered seductive and beautiful, and males were more likely to want to spend money on a date.
A kind attitude
A pleasant demeanour always goes a long way. Researchers from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology discovered that a woman’s responsiveness to men’s needs and desires boosted her attraction to males.
A higher-pitched voice
According to studies, women prefer males with deeper voices. For males, the reverse is usually true, since some feel “[higher] voices signal reproductive fitness, femininity, and smaller body size.”
Relationship
I introduced her to fraud but she scammed me and married my Canadian-based friend
I used to do fraud. Someone introduced it to my buddy, who then introduced it to me. The game has different stages. We were at the bottom of the game’s ladder, so we didn’t make much money, but the risk involved was excellent. Aside from the danger, you must labour every day in order to earn GHC500 every week.
We slept very little because our clients were all over the world, and because of the time difference, we had to stay awake in order to communicate with them. I had a major hit one day. I received GHC7,000 from a bargain and immediately purchased an iPhone for my girlfriend, Cynthia. She was aware that I was involved in fraud, yet she was uninterested. She became interested in the business when I gave her the iPhone and told her how I obtained it.
So when I had a customer who claimed to be a girl, Cynthia was the one who spoke to them. She was the one who set up the video calls. We were still struggling. We halted operations since the money was not flowing as promised.
Life was difficult for two jobless lovers. I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t help myself, so we relied on the generosity of friends who were succeeding in the game.
Ernest, a buddy of mine from Canada, came over one day, and we were all hanging around. Cynthia later informed me, “Your friend likes me.” He was licking his lips and staring at me in some way. Let’s go get some money from him. Tell him I’m not your girlfriend. Allow him to take me so we may obtain money from him.”
Ernest was formerly a player in the game. He went outdoors after getting money. I warned Cynthia Ernest that she might catch the hint, but she was so enthusiastic about collecting money that we gave it a shot. “Don’t let him sleep with you,” was the lone caution. Never.”
She brought me GHC 500 a week later. “He gave me 1,000 GHC.” “That’s your cut,” she explained.
Ernest was hiding the affair because he was afraid I would be upset if I found out he was seeing my sister. He was even concealing it from the team, but we were aware of what was going on.
He was here for a month, and we earned a lot of money.
He was still sending money after he left. Cynthia gave me my portion. I got a job and advised her not to see Ernest anymore. She didn’t give up. It escalated into a brawl, in which I threatened to let the cat out of the bag. “If you try it, you’ll go to jail,” she said. You know I’m familiar with all of your previous transactions. How much money can you offer me to get me to quit seeing Ernest?”
Cynthia is currently in Canada with Ernest, where they are having the time of their life. I tear up when I see their images. When I see these videos on Instagram, I want to kick them in the video.
Ernest finally understands reality. Cynthia, I believe, informed him in a way that she wouldn’t be held responsible, saying something like, “He gave me to you so we could get money from you, but I fell for you because you’re a good person.” That sort of thing.
I must confess, they had the final laugh. Cynthia informed me the last time I spoke with her, “If you stop being bitter, I will send you something small every month.” You don’t have to hate me since I don’t hate you.”
I bowed my head and kicked the bitterness out of my heart because money is money.
That girl is the only honest scammer there is. She maintained her promise. She occasionally sends me money. She’s gradually rebuilding the bridge between me and my old friend Ernest. She duped me, but I can’t really complain. I still have feelings for her but in a different manner. I adore her as someone who looks after me.