Strange Things Are Happening To Me After She Aborted Our Babies And Cursed Me
She was my school time girlfriend. I don’t even want to make myself look like a good person in my confession because I have done her wrong. We started playing with ourselves when we were very young.
Her mum sells foodstuffs in our area and she and my mum were friends, so anytime my mum takes me to buy foodstuffs from her friend’s place, I will see her and sneak into their house with her. Our children games became s*xual in nature and I started fingering her anytime we entered the house.
She liked it so much that she was always waiting for the time I will come over. Then we started doing it and she got pregnant. I can’t remember how old I was but I was around 15 years or so and we are the same age.
Our parents found out about the whole issue and they took her somewhere to get rid of the pregnancy. After that, we were stopped from seeing each other but we still found ways of meeting.
There is this school park around our area and we were meeting there to have s*x many times in the midnight. After her pregnancy we started using condoms to protect us.
Even before I was 18, I could walk into a pharmacy and buy condoms and the pharmacist didn’t say anything because I looked older than my age. But even with that, there were times we did raw because she was in her safe period and I enjoy raw a lot.
But she got pregnant again and I was so scared about the news that I accused her of not calculating the thing well. It was around that time that we run away from home and left where we were. She got a friend who introduced her to a doctor and they did an abortion for her.
The friend paid for it and I started paying her small small until I finished paying. Around this time I was 19 and I started doing any job for money. She was also working at a chop bar and at least we were getting what to eat for the day.
Around that time I got some work at a photocopy store. The owner does printing, photocopies and passport pictures and since the place was new I was able to get the job.
He was working with me and teaching me and after some time he was leaving the place for me because I learnt the job fast. Then this lady came to print her admission letter to University and we spent a long time talking about education.
I run away from home around the time I finished SHS and I have never looked back. I liked that girl from the first day she came to print her letters and she started coming over to do photocopy and all that.
I proposed to her and she accepted. All this while, my girl was with me and she didn’t know. When the University girl was going to school, she told me about it and sneaked me into her house the midnight before her departure and we had s*x.
When she left to school, the vibe died. I tried to be calling her because she will always say the school is stressful or she was busy with lectures so I stopped calling and I don’t hear from her anymore. Then my girl got pregnant again and this time she said she wanted to have the child, but I wasn’t ready.
I was still hustling and the pay I was getting from the photocopy work was not enough so I spoke to her and it wasn’t easy but she agreed to do a third abortion. So we went to the doctor who did the second one and he did it for her.
Around that time I wasn’t loving her anymore but I didn’t know how to end the relationship because of the number of abortions she has done for me and how much she loves me. She run away from home because of me and I thought about all of this so I couldn’t leave her.
I met another girl in the area I work and we started dating. My main girl found out about it because one of her friends saw me and the new girl many times and I couldn’t deny it when my girl asked me. I told her I don’t love her anymore and she started crying.
We live in a rented wooden structure and I have paid for another year. The way the whole issue was, I couldn’t sack her because it will be too wicked of me to do that. So I found a single room around where I work and rented the place for myself. One time when she left for her work at the chopbar, I packed all my things and left her.
Then like a few days later, when I closed from work, I came to meet her sitting infront of my door. That’s the new place I was renting. She stripped and rolled on the floor cursing me that I will never find happiness in this world and I will suffer until I die.
Many people came to gather and some women lifted her up and took her away. The next day, I tried to call her so that I apologise to her for all the pain I have caused her but her line was off. She has blocked me everywhere on social media.
I tried using a friend’s phone to call her and it looks like she has changed her number. She has also left Facebook and Tiktok. Like she suddenly doesn’t have any picture on social media and I used my friend’s phone to check her profile.
I have gone back to where we used to stay and they informed me she has left the place. No one knows where she has gone to. The last place to go to is her house. That’s not even in Accra. We run from Bantama to stay in Accra and if I go back and she is not there, her family will kill me.
Now I cannot sleep. Her curses are scaring me because I know she said it out of a lot of pain and sometimes these curses work if the person who said it means it.
I am really afraid and I just want to beg her that I will come back to her and have a child with her. This time, no abortion. I hope she can even see this story and know that I am not joking. I have a feeling she has created a new Facebook account so that I cannot find her and I’m just hoping that she sees this and reaches out.
I don’t know if the curse has started working already but I am not happy and I’m always borrowing money from friends. I’m just a young guy of 23 years and I want her to forgive me.
Source: Anonymous Confessions
How to start a new relationship: 6 tips to make it work this year
Starting a new relationship can be quite tricky yet exciting at the same time.
You will be excited at the prospect of someone loving you and caring for you, taking time for you.
The start of a relationship might probably be the best time of your life as you are starting a new relationship. However, as excited as you might be, it is crucial to know what to do in a new relationship and what not to do in a new relationship.
How to make it work
If you understand the dos and don’ts of new relationships, it will be easier for you to move forward and form a healthy relationship with your partner.
It would help if you respected each other’s independence and choices. Although it is alright to keep in touch, be aware of each other’s whereabouts, and communicate, continuously pinging each other can also suffocate at times.
It is just that how to start a relationship can be quite complicated and tricky and requires lots of effort. Once you get used to it and know about your partner, it is easier to form a healthy relationship.
Dos and don’ts for a new relationship can help you stop second-guessing yourself. It gives you a vague blueprint about what needs to be done, and it can enhance your bond further.
- Have realistic expectations
For a relationship to work, it is essential to be emotionally and mentally strong. You also have to be compromising and understanding. It’s not necessary that what you want in a relationship is the same as what your partner wants. So, be realistic about situations.
You can both have different thoughts and opinions, like how often you should text in a new relationship. While one person could enjoy the attention, the other appreciates space. So, it is crucial to find a middle ground.
- Show love and affection to your partner
You might have made a new boyfriend. And now you must be thinking about starting a new relationship with a man you’ve just developed feelings for.
You must first remember to show love and affection to your partner to strengthen the bond between you both. You must give attention and time to your partner and make eye contact with him.
- Don’t start talking about the future prematurely
When you start a new relationship, bombarding your partner with questions and plans for the future is not how relationships work. There is a big chance that you can put your partner off.
Every relationship requires time, and you cannot imagine your boyfriend being head over heels from day one.
You should remember that you are new to this and just starting a relationship. It is okay to be on cloud nine. However, if the question, “How to have a good relationship?” lingers in your mind, you must know that it’s all about taking things slow, one thing at a time.
- Don’t mention fears prematurely
At the beginning of a relationship, you and your partner are still getting comfortable with each other. Therefore, one of the crucial new relationship dos and don’ts include not mentioning your fears prematurely.
Allow your partner the chance to discover your fears and limitations gradually. Mentioning things at the get-go can make them feel intimidated and overwhelmed.
You can mention your fears when they become relevant to the equation you share with them.
- Enjoy moments
One of the big dos and don’ts in a new relationship is enjoying the present moment.
Don’t let your past experiences and concerns about the future take away the sheen of the exciting present you are sharing with your partner.
The best part of a new relationship is often the excitement and fun that you can have with someone. The chemistry between you two should be your focus, not the stress and anxiety about the past and present.
- Communicate effectively
Entering a new relationship can seem daunting as it often involves opening up to someone and sharing your life with them. However, this can be a cakewalk if you let clear communication guide you through this process.
Treat effective communication as one of the most important dos and don’ts in a new relationship. It can make or break a relationship depending on whether you do it honestly, respectfully and openly.
5 healthy boundaries every relationship needs this season
Every relationship needs healthy boundaries.
Topics such as the boundaries you wish to have can save you from heartbreak down the road.
These are simple dos and donts that you expect your partner to abide by. They could be as simple as how you expect them to communicate to whether or not your relationship is exclusive.
Setting boundaries can determine the success or failure of your relationship.
Even as you enjoy the butterflies that materialize in your stomach at the sight of your new partner, consider talking about the following:
- Communication style
This is very important information to give your partner. Tell them whether you like them to call or text, how often you need to hear from them, which pet names you like and which you don’t, etc. This will ensure that nobody gets offended when their communication preferences aren’t met.
In the same vein, talk about if and how you will address your relationship on social media. Some people are comfortable bearing it all online while others would like to keep it off social media.
- What to do during conflict
Disagreements are inevitable and so, you need to know whether your partner needs time alone when they’re angry or they prefer to hash out your disagreement there and then. Communicate this clearly, preferably before you have your first fight, so that you know what is expected of you.
- The type of commitment you want
To avoid any misunderstandings, clearly state what you expect as far as your relationship is concerned. Will you be exclusive or would you like an open relationship?
As you talk about commitment remember that you can’t change your partner. Even if you’ve clicked and you want different things from the relationship, it won’t end well. Be strong enough to let go if your expectations as far as commitment is concerned.
It’s very important to set sexual boundaries. Tell your partner what you like and don’t like in the bedroom, how often you’re comfortable having sex, what level of intimacy you like on a first date or in public and when you’re alone, etc. Do you mind holding hands while you’re out and about? Are you a chronic hugger?
A partner who won’t respect these boundaries or tries to coerce you to break them even when you try to remain adamant risks becoming abusive. This is a relationship red flag and you need to run.
- Personal space
Tell your partner when you need personal space and what you require from them during this time. Do you need a few minutes alone when you wake up in the morning or do you like some quiet time when you come in from work?
Here’s just one of the examples on boundaries you should set early on in your relationship. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel your partner is crossing your boundaries and making you uncomfortable. And remember, some boundaries can be negotiated such that you’re both happy and on the same page.
4 best tips to avoid getting pregnant during s*x
There are many ways to avoid pregnancy if you are having active sex.
Sperm can live inside your uterus for up to 5 days after having sex, and pregnancy can only occur if there is sperm in your uterus or fallopian tubes when you ovulate.
You have many tools to prevent pregnancy. Birth control options are plentiful, but some work better than others. The key is to make sure you’re using them the right way.
Here’s what you can do:
- You’re on birth control
Hormonal birth control methods such as the pill, patch, ring, implant, shot, or IUD significantly decrease your chances of getting pregnant, but they don’t eliminate your chances.
These experts say methods work in various ways. For example, IUDs block sperm from reaching the egg, while the pill, ring, and patch prevent ovulation.
- You’re on your period
While it’s not impossible to get pregnant while on your period, your chances are pretty slim.
Your lowest chance of getting pregnant while on your period is during the first day of bleeding. But the chances increase with each passing day as you get closer to your ovulation window. If your typical menstrual cycle is close to the average 28- to 30-day cycle, then the likelihood of getting pregnant while on your period is low. But if your cycle is shorter, your chances of getting pregnant while on your period go up.
- You use the ‘pull-out’ method
The pull-out method may be the world’s oldest form of birth control.
The pull-out method, also known as withdrawal, involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculation.
While some studies have found that withdrawal can be as high as 96% effective with perfect use, it isn’t easy to maintain perfect use with this method.
- You use a condom
When using a condom to avoid pregnancy (or sexually transmitted infections, for that matter), it’s vital to use it correctly. Correct usage means the condom is rolled onto the penis (or inserted into the vagina in the case of internal or female condoms) before there’s any contact between genitals and skin.
According to research, the chance of getting pregnant with male condoms is about 18%, and with female condoms, it’s 21%. With perfect condom use every single time, those odds decrease to 2%.
Some nursing parents use the lactational amenorrhea method (LAM) or “breastfeeding method” to prevent pregnancy after giving birth. LAM as a form of birth control relies on the temporary pause in ovulation that often accompanies breastfeeding in the first several months postpartum.
While breastfeeding, the hormone estrogen, which is responsible for getting your period each month, is suppressed experts say, hence, preventing pregnancy.
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