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The Right Man Was Right Under My Nose While I Was Out There Chasing Mr Wrong

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Kwaku has been my best friend for the past eight years since our days in the university. He was the kind of friend who woke me up at dawn to study. When I had difficulty grasping certain concepts, he patiently taught me. He gives me a listening ear regardless of what I want to talk about. Our closeness made people wonder if we were more than friends. I didn’t know if he had feelings for me and I didn’t care to know either. What I cared about was that he was my best friend.

In the course of our friendship, I met men who expressed interest in me. Whenever I told Kwaku about them, he made jokes and teased me. Once, we ran into one of the guys in town and Kwaku poked me, “Look at your husband. He is a nice man. The two of you will have beautiful children.” This was something he did most of the time. Sometimes I joined in the jokes. He knew me enough to know that I wouldn’t be offended. Actually, he knows me better than anyone does. Somewhere in the third year of our friendship, I met someone that I liked. This guy’s name is Douglas. As usual, Kwaku teased me about him but this time he said, “If you want to be with him, I’ll pray so that you two end up together.”

That made me smile. Underneath his teasing, he wanted me to be happy. It didn’t take long for Douglas to shoot his shot with me. I already liked him so I accepted his proposal and we started dating. He was handsome, and a complete gentleman. We attended the same church so everyone in my circle approved of him. One of the comments we received from friends was “You two look good together. Your children will look very beautiful.” I was happy to finally be in love and with a perfect man moreover. As our relationship progressed I noticed that something was missing. I didn’t need to think too deeply to know that it was Kwaku. He had withdrawn from me completely. The realization made me quite unhappy.

I remember reaching out to him, “Why have you withdrawn from me? Did I do something to offend you?” He said, “No we are fine. I’m just giving you space to enjoy your first relationship. I don’t want your boyfriend to get jealous because of our closeness. If you ever need me, I’m here for you.” I tried to reason with him, “Don’t do that. You and Douglas can become friends. That way he’ll know that he has nothing to worry about.” He wouldn’t budge. It felt like I had exchanged my best friend for a boyfriend. It didn’t feel good. I had no choice but to live my life without him. When my relationship was a year old, I introduced Douglas to my family, and they approved of him. He also introduced me to his family, and they loved me. On the outside, we were the perfect couple but on the inside I was unhappy.

Douglas put a lot of pressure on me to do things I wasn’t ready to do. When I resisted him he complained; “Have you noticed that this relationship revolves around you? I am always following your timelines and your values. You don’t want me to hold you, and you wouldn’t even kiss me. When will my needs start to matter?” I always felt bad when things got to that point. But I wasn’t ready to get intimate with him and I know that it all starts with one unholy touch. The day we had our first kiss, I felt like I had done something wrong. It happened in my apartment. I remember how much I cried after he left because it wasn’t something I wanted to do. After that first kiss, he wanted to do more. This became a constant fight between us. He stopped visiting me because according to him, “What’s the point of coming to see you if you won’t let me do shuperu?”

At some point, he cheated on me. It hurt but I forgave him and stayed with him. I thought we could work things out and move past our differences but he didn’t feel that way. One day out of nowhere he texted me; “I think we should take a break. I need to figure some things out.” I replied, “I think we should break up instead.” He didn’t see it coming. He tried to convince me to stay but I realized I realized that I didn’t want to be with him anymore. It took me so long to learn that as long as our values don’t align, we would always have problems.

All the while, Kwaku was in the background. He wasn’t in my life but he was not out of my life either.

After the breakup, I took some time and did a deep self-reflection. The only thing that I wanted to do was to mend my relationship with Kwaku. Without him in the picture, my life felt like a lighthouse with no light. It just didn’t make sense. It took me five months to finally reconnect with him. We fixed a date and went out to talk. That was when he told me, “The reason I kept my distance when you were dating is that I am in love with you. And it broke my heart to see how happy you were with him.” I seized the opportunity to also tell him, “I was not that happy with him. I thought about you the entire time. I missed you so much it hurt. Being with Douglas made me realize that you are the man for me.” We all lay our hearts on the table that day.

That day we talked about our plans for the future and the love brewing between us. We gave ourselves three years to settle down. When we made those plans I wasn’t sure that they will come to pass. I was afraid that I would mess things up with my bad temper. However, Kwaku believed in us. We had conversations about everything including our finances, children, relationship with family, and intimacy. Kwaku’s values are even stricter than mine so I was the one who initiated our first kiss. Nothing had ever felt so right as that moment. I am happy at the slow and mutual pace we have taken things.

It’s been three years since we started planning our life together. And it has been the most peaceful and happiest years of my life. Our wedding is two months away and I can’t wait to finally call my best friend my husband. I may not be marrying my first love but I am marrying the love of my life. I am happy that at the end of the day, I didn’t compromise my values and my beliefs just to make Douglas happy. I have come to learn that relationships don’t need to be stressful and dramatic. Things are effortless when you are with the right person.

Source: Silent Beads

Relationship

Woman confesses that her spouse always defecates in bed as he’s ready to ‘cum’

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"I've been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed. "We've tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it's too sweet and he can't contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex. "But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse."

A Ghanaian lady who is married to a “loving and responsible husband” is looking for help dealing with what she describes as “disgusting” sexual encounters with her spouse.

The married woman with two children has said that her husband always defecates in bed when he is at his height of ecstasy during sex.

Revealing her traumatic situation to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3, she stated that she is considering quitting her eleven-month marriage because she cannot bear it any longer.

“I’ve been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed.

“We’ve tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it’s too sweet and he can’t contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex.

“But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because, despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse,” she narrated.

According to her, the situation is impacting her mental health because all attempts to settle her issue have failed.

“I’m going through a lot because it makes me puke; mentally, I’m breaking down. I’m not sure whether to quit the marriage because we currently have two children. I tried every possible solution to the problem, but nothing worked,” she said.

She is presently seeking assistance to deal with the circumstance, as the problem is harming her mental health.

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I prefer to masturbate than have sex with my husband – Lady shares ordeal

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She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend. "Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand," she said Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

A Ghanaian woman has expressed her sexual discontent with her spouse.

The lady, whose identity has been kept hidden, told Confessions on TV3 that her spouse never stays in bed for more than two minutes.

She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend.

“Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand,” she said to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

Meanwhile, Life Coach Ebenezer Quaye, a guest on the show, encouraged lovers to share feedback to each other after participating in physical intimacy with their loved ones.

This, he argued, will inspire spouses to work on their sexual deficiencies.

“If you are having sex and do not receive feedback from your wife, there is a problem.” Wives should also provide feedback to their spouses. “It’s so nice and encouraging,” he commented.

He also gave some strategies for improving sexual shortcomings between lovers.

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How my husband sex trafficked me for 13 years

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When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party. "It's going to be fun." She said. "Sure. "I would love to." I didn't have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone's attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

I learned that life was unfair at an early age, and in the worst way conceivable. My stepfather used to sexually assault me, and when I eventually had the bravery to denounce him, he received only three months of treatment as punishment and was allowed to live with me again.

My mother brought him back for financial reasons, but she kept us apart. They slept below, while we slept above. Nevertheless, I was traumatised and lived in terror. As if I hadn’t gone through enough pain, I met a man who I believed loved me and who sex trafficked me.

When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party.

“It’s going to be fun.” She said.

“Sure. “I would love to.”

I didn’t have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone’s attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

“Hello, Greg. I invite you to meet my buddy Wendy. “Wendy, this is Greg.” She spoke to the guy.

Greg turned to me, smiled, and extended his hand before saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

At that point, my knees were weak. My heart began beating, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Can I get your number?” He asked.

“Sure,” I responded and handed it to him.

I didn’t expect him to call, but later that night he did, and we spoke for hours. That was the start of a relationship that led to my being sex trafficked.

Greg understood how to make me feel appreciated, which is all I wanted. We became amorous quickly, and I fell pregnant soon after. I had been under my mother’s care since I was 17 years old when I had my child. Greg demanded that I leave my mother’s house so that we could make our relationship work.

“How am I going to do that?” I asked.

“I’ve got a plan. You may relocate to a shelter, where they will consider you emancipated from your parents, and then you will be eligible for welfare checks, and we will be able to get an apartment and live happily ever after.” He explained.

At the time, it seemed like a fairy tale, and I was all in. I ran away from home, and Greg took me and my kid to a shelter. However, life at the shelter was not as easy as Greg made it appear.

It took long for me to receive my first welfare check, and I was running out of baby goods. So I contacted Greg and told him I needed money to take care of our child.

“Don’t worry, I have a job for us to do.” He said.

I assumed he meant cleaning people’s homes because that’s what he told me he did for money. So I picked up my kid and went to see him.

“What are we going to do?” I asked Greg.

“Well, you’re going to walk up this street, wait on that corner for a man to pick you up and you’ll have sex with that man in his car and he’ll pay you.” He explained without emotion.

I was perplexed and apprehensive, but he kept bringing up my daughter and insisting that if I loved her, I would do it. I felt like I had no option. My knees and hands shook as I proceeded to where he had instructed me to stand. As soon as I arrived, a car stopped in front of me, and the driver requested me to get in. That’s how my spouse started sex trafficking me.

“I know a place we can go in the woods.” He said.

I did not say anything. When we arrived in the woods, we both exited and walked to a private location where he began removing his clothing. I took off mine, we had sex, and he gave me the money before driving me back to where he had picked me up.

When I came out, I went to Greg, who was still standing in the same location and handed him all of the money.

“I love you.” I knew I had made the proper decision in choosing you as my wife. He said.

We went to purchase diapers and formula for the baby and had a little extra. However, a week later, we were out of diapers again.

That time, he encouraged me to take on two or three customers so that I might earn enough money to leave the shelter.

“Do you want your daughter to live in a shelter for the rest of her life?” He asked.

From there, he started one of the greatest prostitution networks in the region. It comprised four to ten females from various states. He sexually trafficked me for 13 years while I was still married to him. It varied from once a week to every other day, depending on how much money he received from the other females. I worked as a street girl, and escort, and made house calls. Not to add that I have two more children with him.

People continually questioned me why I stayed with him for so long, but no matter what I told them, they couldn’t comprehend what I was going through. Greg hooked us to drugs and physically abused us if we attempted to escape. He would also send the other girls to find any girl who had gone and beat her until she returned. I felt bonded to the other females since we weren’t permitted to have outside contact. So, anytime I managed to flee, I felt horrible and returned because I didn’t want them to suffer.

After 13 years, I was finally free of Greg. I had recently given birth and was in the kitchen making supper for us when I noticed police cruisers outside our house. The cops swooped in, arrested Greg, and detained me for interrogation.

However, I refused to talk to them because I was afraid Greg would beat me if he found out. Because I did not comply, they accused me of sex trafficking and sentenced me to 23 months in prison. Greg was also charged with sex trafficking and was sentenced to ten years in jail.

My children were removed while I was in prison, and because the judge in the custody case felt I was a sex trafficker, she promised that I would not be granted custody of my children. When I got out, I returned to school and earned an associate’s degree. In addition, I returned to the same judge who heard my custody case to request custody of my kid. I went with my attorneys, counsellors, and even the police officers who detained me to explain my situation to the court.

She returned my child to me, and I returned home to live with my mother, who sadly died later. Today, I feel comfortable and satisfied, which is a wonderful place to be. I’ve realised that there are individuals eager to help those who have faced the same hardships that I have, and if you’re going through anything similar, you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence.

This narrative is based on the Unfiltered Stories YouTube video.

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