My husband and I began dating at a young age. He has been the only man in my life, and our love began while we were both in SHS. The friendship was so tight that even four years at different institutions couldn’t break it. He was coming from Legon all the way to KNUST on weekends to see me because of me. We didn’t do it every weekend, but we planned it. We did not rush anything. We’ve taken our time getting to know each other. We chose to marry after eight years of being together. Our parents are quite familiar with each other and with us, so we didn’t confront any resistance when we informed them of our intentions. Unfortunately, a big impediment arrived in the form of genetics. I’ve always known I’m autistic. I used to experience joint pains as a child.
When I was taken to the hospital, the doctor explained that I had sickle cell disease. I learned and read more about genotypes after that. My guy is really athletic and enthusiastic. When I asked him about his genotype years ago, he said he didn’t know. I figured he was AA based on his appearance. He is incredibly fit and rarely gets sick. We have just learned that he is also AS. Our families abruptly began to oppose the marriage. One of my relatives has sickle cell disease, and it has been difficult for her and her parents. My parents are using that as an example to break the bond I have with my boyfriend. It got so bad that our parents arranged a family meeting at his house to talk about it. We both indicated our desire to continue marrying and adopting children rather than have a biological children over there.
We’ve come too far to call it quits on our eight-year relationship over something we can’t change. Our decision was not well received by the families. They claimed that the only way out was to end the relationship and any marriage arrangements. We did everything we could to reach out to our families individually. They refused to budge. Our love is so powerful that not even our parents can break us apart. We had made arrangements, so when we realised that our parents would not listen to reason, we resorted to the last option: we would run away from home. We have a mutual buddy who was eager to assist us. He was living in another region in a two-bedroom house. I was living with my parents, but my boyfriend had acquired an apartment. When I go on vacation, I try to pack as few clothes as possible. I barely took anything. I concentrated on the necessities. Although I was not working at the time, he is interested in photography and filmmaking.
We went to our friend’s house one day and settled there. We waited until the next day to notify our relatives that we would not be separated. My father was so enraged that he stated he has washed his hands of anything related to me. My mother was concerned, and she would phone and ask me to come home. Meanwhile, I’m 25 years old and mature enough to make my own decisions. His parents were behaving similarly, but he disregarded them. We held our own little ceremony with three friends a few weeks after we arrived.
We intend to marry by ordinance before the end of the year. We now identify as a married couple. We want to wait a bit longer to see how we will adopt children because we are still young. Now my husband is recommending that I undergo a medical surgery that will permanently prevent me from giving birth, allowing us to have s*x as many times as we want without the risk of having a sickle cell child.
This strategy does not set well with me. Nobody can predict the future. What if my mind changes or something happens that makes me want to have another child? For the time being, I’ve gotten a job as a salesperson here, which is great. My husband is receiving wedding gigs, and many of them are in Kumasi and Accra, so he goes and comes, and there is money in it. Is it appropriate to perform this permanent treatment now that we are married, even though it is not with our parents’ consent? Could you please give me some advice? My husband has no malicious intent. He has demonstrated that he loves me with all of his heart and that he means well.
