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What do you do when your parents want you to marry only from their tribe?

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My parents are from the same tribe and they said I cannot marry for any other tribe. Meanwhile the good men I get are all from other tribes. My father has sacked two good men away with how he treats them and speaks to them just because they are from another tribe.

My big sis married from our tribe so she didn’t get any problems with my parents and now it looks like I am the bad child. The annoying thing too is that my sister’s husband has been beating her and my parents just want to treat the issue as a family issue. My sis wants to divorce him but she is scared of our parents.

They are so controlling. They have decided for us all this while and still want to choose the tribe we marry from. Now I have dated this guy for two years and I have hidden it from them. He wants us to start buying things for marriage because he said he wants to marry me next year. I have told him about how my parents are but he said he still wants to meet them and talk to them.

I am scared they will reject him and create problems that will lead to another break up. Please what should I do?

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How my husband sex trafficked me for 13 years

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When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party. "It's going to be fun." She said. "Sure. "I would love to." I didn't have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone's attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

I learned that life was unfair at an early age, and in the worst way conceivable. My stepfather used to sexually assault me, and when I eventually had the bravery to denounce him, he received only three months of treatment as punishment and was allowed to live with me again.

My mother brought him back for financial reasons, but she kept us apart. They slept below, while we slept above. Nevertheless, I was traumatised and lived in terror. As if I hadn’t gone through enough pain, I met a man who I believed loved me and who sex trafficked me.

When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party.

“It’s going to be fun.” She said.

“Sure. “I would love to.”

I didn’t have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone’s attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

“Hello, Greg. I invite you to meet my buddy Wendy. “Wendy, this is Greg.” She spoke to the guy.

Greg turned to me, smiled, and extended his hand before saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

At that point, my knees were weak. My heart began beating, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Can I get your number?” He asked.

“Sure,” I responded and handed it to him.

I didn’t expect him to call, but later that night he did, and we spoke for hours. That was the start of a relationship that led to my being sex trafficked.

Greg understood how to make me feel appreciated, which is all I wanted. We became amorous quickly, and I fell pregnant soon after. I had been under my mother’s care since I was 17 years old when I had my child. Greg demanded that I leave my mother’s house so that we could make our relationship work.

“How am I going to do that?” I asked.

“I’ve got a plan. You may relocate to a shelter, where they will consider you emancipated from your parents, and then you will be eligible for welfare checks, and we will be able to get an apartment and live happily ever after.” He explained.

At the time, it seemed like a fairy tale, and I was all in. I ran away from home, and Greg took me and my kid to a shelter. However, life at the shelter was not as easy as Greg made it appear.

It took long for me to receive my first welfare check, and I was running out of baby goods. So I contacted Greg and told him I needed money to take care of our child.

“Don’t worry, I have a job for us to do.” He said.

I assumed he meant cleaning people’s homes because that’s what he told me he did for money. So I picked up my kid and went to see him.

“What are we going to do?” I asked Greg.

“Well, you’re going to walk up this street, wait on that corner for a man to pick you up and you’ll have sex with that man in his car and he’ll pay you.” He explained without emotion.

I was perplexed and apprehensive, but he kept bringing up my daughter and insisting that if I loved her, I would do it. I felt like I had no option. My knees and hands shook as I proceeded to where he had instructed me to stand. As soon as I arrived, a car stopped in front of me, and the driver requested me to get in. That’s how my spouse started sex trafficking me.

“I know a place we can go in the woods.” He said.

I did not say anything. When we arrived in the woods, we both exited and walked to a private location where he began removing his clothing. I took off mine, we had sex, and he gave me the money before driving me back to where he had picked me up.

When I came out, I went to Greg, who was still standing in the same location and handed him all of the money.

“I love you.” I knew I had made the proper decision in choosing you as my wife. He said.

We went to purchase diapers and formula for the baby and had a little extra. However, a week later, we were out of diapers again.

That time, he encouraged me to take on two or three customers so that I might earn enough money to leave the shelter.

“Do you want your daughter to live in a shelter for the rest of her life?” He asked.

From there, he started one of the greatest prostitution networks in the region. It comprised four to ten females from various states. He sexually trafficked me for 13 years while I was still married to him. It varied from once a week to every other day, depending on how much money he received from the other females. I worked as a street girl, and escort, and made house calls. Not to add that I have two more children with him.

People continually questioned me why I stayed with him for so long, but no matter what I told them, they couldn’t comprehend what I was going through. Greg hooked us to drugs and physically abused us if we attempted to escape. He would also send the other girls to find any girl who had gone and beat her until she returned. I felt bonded to the other females since we weren’t permitted to have outside contact. So, anytime I managed to flee, I felt horrible and returned because I didn’t want them to suffer.

After 13 years, I was finally free of Greg. I had recently given birth and was in the kitchen making supper for us when I noticed police cruisers outside our house. The cops swooped in, arrested Greg, and detained me for interrogation.

However, I refused to talk to them because I was afraid Greg would beat me if he found out. Because I did not comply, they accused me of sex trafficking and sentenced me to 23 months in prison. Greg was also charged with sex trafficking and was sentenced to ten years in jail.

My children were removed while I was in prison, and because the judge in the custody case felt I was a sex trafficker, she promised that I would not be granted custody of my children. When I got out, I returned to school and earned an associate’s degree. In addition, I returned to the same judge who heard my custody case to request custody of my kid. I went with my attorneys, counsellors, and even the police officers who detained me to explain my situation to the court.

She returned my child to me, and I returned home to live with my mother, who sadly died later. Today, I feel comfortable and satisfied, which is a wonderful place to be. I’ve realised that there are individuals eager to help those who have faced the same hardships that I have, and if you’re going through anything similar, you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence.

This narrative is based on the Unfiltered Stories YouTube video.

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My parents don’t want me to marry her because she’s a mother of three

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She comes to our house and my parents treat her like royalty, but after she leaves, they gather around me and say, "Don't get it twisted. We will not let you marry a problem." My opinion of her has not altered, but I believe my parents are not being fair to her. Aside from that, they're making it impossible for me to let go of her.

My girlfriend has three children. She’s still stunning for a woman with three children. I adore her. We’ve been together for a year. My folks adored her when I brought her home. They freely conveyed their love and acceptance to her, making her feel welcome.

After she left, my parents began to inquire about her, and I told them everything, including the fact that she has three children. “No, you will not marry her,” my mother yelled. “If you want to take care of children, your brother and sister are still in school,” my father added. We may leave them there for you to continue.” She calls my folks, who are quite polite to her.

She comes to our house and my parents treat her like royalty, but after she leaves, they gather around me and say, “Don’t get it twisted. We will not let you marry a problem.” My opinion of her has not altered, but I believe my parents are not being fair to her. Aside from that, they’re making it impossible for me to let go of her.

What justification do I offer her for not wanting her? What should I say to persuade her that it’s not me but my parents?
She even gives my parents gifts, which they embrace enthusiastically and praise her for, but once she’s out of the picture, they laugh at me and urge me to forget it.

I’m at a loss for words in this circumstance. My girlfriend wants us to start planning our wedding. She is aware that everything is in place. When I tell her to give me some time, she blames me. What should I do to have this problem resolved?

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Reconsider settling down with her if she shows these 4 red flags 

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If she is rude to older folks, her peers, or even strangers. If her own parents haven't earned her respect, it begs the issue of what you could do to gain hers. If she treats everyone else with respect except you, it's just a matter of time until she includes you. She never makes concessions; it's either do it her way or don't do it at all. If she refuses to compromise and insists on doing things her way, it indicates an unhealthy interaction. Both members in a partnership should have a say and be prepared to make concessions. A relationship isn't about having a master; it's about working together.

Women aren’t perfect. Some of these are also red signs, and settling with someone who possesses these characteristics can be damaging to your happiness and mental health.

If you want to settle down with a lady who possesses these characteristics, you should think again.

When she is furious, instead of expressing herself, she tosses items at you and even slaps you.

You are fully aware that if you were the one doing this, you would be in big trouble, but she does it to you and expects you to accept it. Don’t put up with it and leave before you become a victim.

If she is rude to older folks, her peers, or even strangers. If her own parents haven’t earned her respect, it begs the issue of what you could do to gain hers.

If she treats everyone else with respect except you, it’s just a matter of time until she includes you.

She never makes concessions; it’s either do it her way or don’t do it at all. If she refuses to compromise and insists on doing things her way, it indicates an unhealthy interaction.

Both members in a partnership should have a say and be prepared to make concessions. A relationship isn’t about having a master; it’s about working together.

It’s a red flag if she continuously blames others for her misfortunes and refuses to accept responsibility for her actions.

Partnerships thrive on shared accountability and responsibility. A person who is constantly the victim will not contribute to personal or social progress.

If you observe these warning signals, it’s critical to have open talks and, if necessary, seek professional help, but if all efforts fail, it’s time to gracefully go.

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