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When My Pastor’s Wife Caught Me Cheating With Her Husband, I Was The One She Cursed
I knew he had an interest in me when he started calling me at odd hours. He could call at 10 pm talking about nothing meaningful except, “I was checking on you. I wanted to be sure you didn’t go and sleep next to your boyfriend.” When I was in the mood, I would engage him, “Pastor, you know I don’t have a boyfriend. How can I sleep by someone I don’t have?”
He would tell me to be careful about men and also wait patiently before I choose. It wasn’t always just talk. He knew my problems and helped me often. I’d completed school but no work. I’d been home for two years, applying for jobs and attending interviews that yield no result. He was praying for me, so he said but sometimes too, he’ll send me money, the highest being GHC2,000.
I remember that day very clearly and how happy it made me. It was right after church when he told me to wait for him. I was seated in church while people went to his office and came back. Later he called me in. Immediately after I got there, he handed this white envelope to me. He said, “Someone just gave it to me. I don’t know how much is inside. Take it but help me pray for the person. That’s all he needs, prayers.” I got home and opened the envelope and it had GHC2,000 and a prayer request. It was from a man who was having issues with his travelling document so he needed prayers. I took a photo of the paper and sent it to him. He said, “Every Cedi you spend on it should come with a prayer for him.”
And then his wife travelled for a two-month course in Accra. He fell on me for so many things and he kept calling me at odd hours wanting to talk all night. One late night like that he said, “Mom is not around. Why don’t you come home this Friday and cook for me?” I was a girl who had nothing going on in her life so one Friday morning, I went to his house. He gave me money and I went to the market. When I came back and was in the kitchen cooking, he was with me throughout, wanting to engage me in a conversation. I finished cooking and I served him. He told me, “Sit next to me let me tell you something.”
He started, “I’m a man of God and I know you don’t doubt my position in the Lord but that aside I’m human too. Being human means you’ll have human needs—things of the flesh would excite you just as it excites every man. I don’t want to go into details but you know what I mean. I love you and want you to be my girlfriend. No one has to know. I’ll do things for you, and get you connected to the right people so you get a job. Just say yes and your life would change.” I saw that coming so I wasn’t surprised at all. I told him to give me some time to think about it but he wouldn’t allow me. “You’re a grown-up woman. How can you think about such a small request?”
So that day, right in his living room I said yes to him. He didn’t let me go home. Even when I said I wanted to go and change into something fresh, he said no. I spent the night with him and he didn’t let me sleep all night. If he wasn’t on me, he was trying to keep me awake so he can do it again. I wasn’t a child and I wasn’t a woman who hadn’t been with a man before so everything that happened that day didn’t surprise me except for the fact that he was my pastor.
His wife was away for two months so I was with him all that while. I would go to his house on certain days and won’t go back home. Sometimes I would go there in the morning and leave in the evening. When his wife returned from training and I couldn’t go to his house, he would come for me deep in the evening, and we would go somewhere very far from home, where people can’t identify him. Or we would just be in his car in the neighbourhood until very late doing everything in his car. Soon he started going on a trip with me. For that to be possible, he gave me to one of his staff as the girlfriend of that staff member, David. He wasn’t a pastor so he had the free will to move around with a girlfriend.
Whenever we travelled, I was found in the company of that guy until the pastor will have a need for me. I would be with him during the day and spend the night with Pastor. The guy came to resent me at first. He tried his best to advise me out of the relationship but I wasn’t listening to him. One afternoon, I was with him when he started getting touchy. I warned him to stop but he wouldn’t. He started talking about his feelings for me and how he wants to marry me so we can run from the pastor. I told him, “If you don’t stop, I will have no choice but report you to Pastor. He trusts you so much so don’t let him down.”
We returned from one trip and immediately after I got home, the pastor’s wife called me. I had her number but she wasn’t someone I talked to often.
Her first question was, “What is going on between you and my husband?” My heart skipped. I started stuttering but I was smart about my answer, or so I thought. I said, “Mom I’m surprised you’re asking me this question. What can drive you to ask me such a question? What have you seen or heard?” Her voice was firm and slow. She said, “Answer my question. What is going on between you two?” I said, “There’s nothing going on between us. My boyfriend is David. David is a staff and he’s the reason I get close to Pastor. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She laughed and said, “I’m watching you. If my husband gets to know about this conversation, I will know and if I get to know, then it means what I’ve been told is true.” Because of that, I hesitated for days before telling the Pastor about it. He was stunned. He was like, “How? What has she seen? Who is feeding him information?” So I told him about David and his proposal to me that day. “David wanted me and I said no to him. I suspect he might be the one feeding her with that information.” He got pissed off and decided to fire David. I told him to calm down since that would escalate things.
From there, every move we made became very calculative. He wouldn’t call me on the phone or text me. He would rather send me an email and I will respond. If we have to travel to a place, I will travel first to that place and get a hotel room far from where he would lodge. He would then come to me immediately after he lands at the place. That was safe so we held on to that arrangement for months without any complaint or leakage from his camp. One Sunday, his wife got the chance to preach in church and that day I couldn’t sit still. Every word that came from her mouth was targeted at me. She would look through the congregation and find me so she could deliver tailor-made messages to me. The quotation of the day had nothing to do with women chasing married men but madam found a way to make the preaching all about women chasing married men. She rained curses and the women in the church shouted in praises of her.
After church that day, I sent him a mail, “I think your wife still suspects something. Today, everything she said in the church was about us. She looked at my face while delivering her message.” He brushed me off and said, “That’s just your mind lying to you. She preached exactly the message we rehearsed at home.” I knew he was lying but I let it slide.
We travelled to Koforidua on a weekend program. He calls it visitation. As usual, I travelled to Koforidua a day before he came. After the service that evening, he came to spend the night with me at the hotel I booked. Early morning around 7 am, we heard a knock on the hotel door. “Who is it,” I asked. The person won’t talk but kept knocking. Just when I was about to get up and go and see who is at the door, Pastor held me by the hand and said, “Don’t move. You have to hear a voice before you move or you’re expecting someone?” I kept asking who is it but the person didn’t answer. I called the front desk to verify who was knocking on the door but no one answered the phone. I told him, “It could be the front desk lady or someone who is missing their way.’
I opened the door small just to look at who was on the door, then the person pushed the door wide open. It was Pastor’s wife at the door. She said, “Your mails also come to your laptop, maybe you forgot. So it’s true?” I was in a morning coat but Pastor was half-naked. Before he could open his mouth, a slap landed. I was in front of the drawer trying to get something to wear. She didn’t get to me until I finished dressing and was about to leave. She said, “I knew it from day one that you’re the one destroying the anointing on my husband but let me tell you this, you’ll never marry. You’ll go through every disappointment a girl like you deserve because the bible said touch not my anointed. You didn’t just touch it, you went ahead to eat his anointing. You’ll suffer in life, believe me. No man will find you a wife worthy.”
I rushed out of the room and left them there. From all indications, she didn’t come there to create a scene. She loved her husband so much she’ll protect his name from the mud. The program was supposed to end on Sunday but I left that very morning to my house and from there, it became very difficult to reach Pastor. I wanted to know if he was ok. I wanted to know everything that transpired afterwards. His phones were off. I couldn’t send him a mail because it was a bad idea. For two months I couldn’t reach his number and I couldn’t go to church too.
When I wasn’t hearing from him, I started talking to friends in the church and they all said he was good. “He was in church today, he’s doing very well but why have you stopped coming to church?” I couldn’t answer their questions honestly, but I was happy to know that he was fine. He never called again. I got a job months later, a job that took me out of town. Obviously, he changed his numbers because his number never went through after that incident. I’m fine. My job is keeping me busy. I have a boyfriend who is very serious about me but my problem is the curses his wife rained on me that day. I can forget everything but I can’t forget that one. Even though I’m happy and everything is going well, I’m scared things would fall off and I will begin to suffer at some point.
I think about it and because of that, the future doesn’t excite me. Is there anything I have to do to ensure the curses don’t work on me? I haven’t been able to tell anyone this story so I’m not getting any advice from anyone. It’s the reason I’m sharing it here, hoping someone will tell me one thing I can do to escape her curses and live a happy life.
Source: Silent Beads
A range of herbal remedies can help reduce panic attack symptoms. Consider the following options:
- Valerian root has long been used to treat insomnia and anxiety. It may reduce the severity of panic attacks by soothing the nervous system.
- Chamomile: This plant has relaxing properties and has been long used to relieve anxiety and insomnia. Chamomile tea or supplements may help alleviate panic attack symptoms.
- Lavender: Lavender has long been used to relieve anxiety and tension because of its relaxing scent. Inhaling lavender essential oil or taking a lavender supplement may help relieve panic attack symptoms.
- Kava kava: For centuries, the Pacific Islands have used this plant to relieve anxiety and tension. It may reduce the severity of panic attacks by soothing the nervous system.
It should be noted that these herbs should not be used in place of professional medical care. If you’re having panic attacks, it’s critical that you obtain the right diagnosis and treatment from a doctor.
What causes panic attacks?
Starting a new career or migrating to a new location, as well as important life events such as getting married or having a kid, can be stressful.
Anxiety or depression in the family: If you have a family history of anxiety or depression, you may be more prone to panic attacks.
Excessive coffee or alcohol consumption, as well as sudden withdrawal or reintroduction, can cause panic attacks.
Medical disorders such as heart disease or hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) can also induce panic episodes.
It is crucial to understand that panic episodes can develop for no apparent reason. If you’re having panic attacks and aren’t sure what’s causing them, meeting with a mental health professional for further assessment and therapy may be beneficial.
How can you naturally treat a panic attack?
Deep breathing can help with physical panic attack symptoms like a racing heart and shortness of breath. Take a big breath in with your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale softly through your mouth.
To comfort oneself, employ positive self-talk such as “I can handle this,” “I am safe,” or “This will pass.”
Concentrate on the present: Panic episodes are frequently accompanied by rapid thoughts about the future or the past. Focus on your surroundings and physical sensations in your body to bring your attention back to the present moment.
Relaxation practises such as progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation, and yoga may all help you relax and quiet your mind and body.
Seek assistance: Speaking with a trusted friend or family member, as well as consulting a mental health professional, can help you manage panic attacks.
It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. They will pass, and the more practice you have at dealing with them, the better you will become.
How can you permanently stop panic episodes without medication?
Seek expert assistance: A mental health professional can assist you in determining the reasons for your panic attacks and developing a treatment plan to manage them. Treatment may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or other forms of therapy, as well as relaxation methods or lifestyle adjustments.
Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation are all relaxation techniques that can help you relax and manage stress and anxiety.
Regular exercise can help you reduce stress and enhance your overall well-being. On most days of the week, aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity, such as brisk walking or cycling.
Eat a nutritious diet: Eating a diet high in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains while avoiding processed and sugary foods will improve your physical and mental health.
Get adequate sleep: Sleep is essential for physical and mental health. Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night.
Recognise and avoid circumstances or activities that may provoke panic attacks, such as coffee or alcohol usage, or specific sorts of environments.
It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. You may learn to manage panic episodes and minimise their frequency and intensity with training and the correct tactics.
Following the cessation of alcohol drinking, a range of health problems may occur, some of which may be temporary and others of which may be permanent. Here are just a few examples:
- When a heavy drinker quickly stops drinking, they may experience withdrawal symptoms such as tremors, anxiety, and insomnia. In severe cases, alcohol withdrawal can be lethal, necessitating medical attention.
- Some elements, such as vitamin B1, can be inhibited by alcohol, and long-term heavy drinking can lead to deficiencies. These shortfalls can cause a number of health problems, including fatigue, muscle weakness, and nerve damage.
- Alcohol use can contribute to the development of mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, and abstaining from alcohol may assist in facilitating these conditions. However, refraining from alcohol may induce or aggravate mental health difficulties in other settings, particularly in persons with a history of mental illness.
- Alcohol use can cause considerable liver damage, such as fatty liver disease, alcoholic hepatitis, and cirrhosis. Abstinence from alcohol can help heal some of the damage, but in extreme situations, the damage may be irreversible.
It’s important to remember that everyone is unique, and the precise health issues that may occur after stopping alcohol may differ depending on the individual’s drinking history, general health, and other variables. It’s always a good idea to consult with a doctor or other healthcare expert about the potential health hazards of abstaining from alcohol and to seek medical attention if necessary.
What happens to your body physiologically after you quit drinking?
When a person stops drinking alcohol, their body adjusts to the lack of alcohol. This can cause a variety of physical symptoms, some of which are temporary while others are long-term. Here are some of the things that might happen in a person’s body after they quit drinking:
- Better sleep: Alcohol can interrupt sleep patterns and contribute to poor sleep quality. When a person stops drinking, their sleep may improve because their body no longer has to metabolise the alcohol.
- Alcohol contains a lot of calories, and excessive drinking can contribute to weight gain. Quitting drinking may result in weight loss since the body no longer absorbs the extra calories from alcohol.
- Improved digestion: Alcohol can irritate the lining of the digestive tract, contributing to problems like acid reflux. Quitting alcohol may improve digestion and reduce the number of digestive diseases.
- Better skin health: Alcohol dehydrates the skin, which can contribute to issues such as acne breakouts. Quitting alcohol may improve skin health and reduce skin diseases.
It’s crucial to remember that everyone is unique, and the physical consequences of stopping drinking will vary based on the individual’s drinking history, general health, and other circumstances. It’s always a good idea to talk to a doctor or other healthcare professional about the potential consequences of quitting drinking, and to seek medical help if necessary.
The length of time it takes for the body to return to normal after quitting drinking is determined by a number of factors, including the individual’s drinking history, overall health, and the severity of any alcohol-related health problems. The following are some general guidelines for how long it may take for specific physiological systems to return to normal after quitting drinking:
- Alcohol withdrawal symptoms often peak within the first 24-72 hours following the last drink and can persist for several days to a week. Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal in severe circumstances, demanding medical intervention.
- Alcohol may affect the brain and nervous system in a variety of ways, and the quantity and duration of alcohol ingested influence how long it takes for these systems to recover. In other circumstances, it may take months or years for the brain to fully heal.
- Heavy drinking may gravely harm the liver, which is in charge of breaking down and metabolising alcohol. The amount of time it takes for the liver to recover depends on the degree of the lesion and the individual’s general health. The liver may be able to repair itself in certain circumstances, but in others, the damage may be irreversible.
- Alcohol can irritate the digestive system lining, contributing to illnesses such as acid reflux. Within a few days to a week, abstaining from alcohol may result in improved digestion and a reduction in digestive difficulties.
It’s crucial to remember that stopping drinking may not totally cure the body, especially if the person has been drinking heavily for a long time. Long-term alcohol addiction can cause long-term harm to several biological systems in some situations. It’s always a good idea to consult with a doctor or other healthcare expert about the potential repercussions of stopping alcohol and to seek medical attention if required.
When you stop drinking, how can you know when your liver is healing?
The liver is a powerful organ that can repair itself after alcohol injury. The amount of time it takes for the liver to recover varies on the severity of the lesion and the individual’s overall health.
The liver is a strong organ that may heal itself after alcohol damage. The length of time it takes for the liver to recover depends on the degree of the lesion and the individual’s general health.
When you stop drinking, there are a few signs that your liver is healing:
The liver creates bile, which aids in fat digestion, which improves digestion. You may notice an improvement in your digestion after you stop drinking.
Alcohol is high in empty calories, which can contribute to weight gain. When you quit drinking, your body starts burning stored fat for energy, causing you to lose weight.
Increased energy: Alcohol might make you lethargic and fatigued. You may experience a rise in energy levels while your liver repairs.
Better skin: Alcohol may cause skin to dry out and become dull. You may notice an improvement in the look and texture of your skin while your liver continues to operate regularly.
It’s crucial to remember that alcohol-related liver damage is typically irreversible, so get medical attention if you’re concerned about the health of your liver. It is never too late to make positive lifestyle changes that will enhance your health and well-being.
What happens once you stop drinking?
Depending on their circumstances and reasons for quitting, each person’s life after stopping alcohol may seem very different. Some people may discover that they have more energy and are more productive, but others may find it difficult to adjust to life without alcohol.
You may notice the following changes after quitting alcohol:
Improved health: Quitting alcohol can bring a variety of health benefits, including a lower chance of developing diseases including liver disease, some cancers, and heart disease. You may experience advantages in your sleep and digestion as well.
More time and money: Drinking alcohol may be costly and time-consuming, especially if you do it regularly. If you stop drinking, you may be able to devote more time and money to other hobbies and activities.
Improved relationships: Alcohol can impair your judgement and conduct, leading to disagreements with loved ones. Quitting alcohol may help you enhance your social ties and communication skills.
Increased self-esteem: Depending on your motivation for quitting drinking, you may experience a feeling of success and satisfaction in your decision. This might boost your self-esteem and happiness.
It is vital to recognise that quitting alcohol is a personal decision, and everyone’s experience will be unique. It may be difficult at times, but the potential benefits are well worth the effort.
One of Johannesburg’s busiest roadways has been extensively damaged as a result of a suspected explosion from an underground gas pipeline.
Videos show portions of the road collapsing and automobiles flipping upside down.
According to authorities, one person was murdered and several were injured.
At the moment of the detonation, some witnesses described feeling the earth shake and then hearing a huge bang.
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