I went above and beyond for others, and they demonstrated to me that being kind and selfless is a complete waste of time. When I met him, he was in financial difficulty. He couldn’t afford a three-square meal, and to make matters worse, he was caring for his daughter. We became friends, and I respected him for being such a good father to his daughter. When things got tough for him, his mother abandoned him. We don’t hear stories like this very often. Fathers are the most likely to forsake their children. They came to rent a room where I was staying. I never saw myself marrying someone like him. At 40, I had given up on marriage and was living my life as a single woman. The more we talked, the more I liked him. But it was his daughter who brought us together. She adored me and could spend the entire day in my room until her father came looking for her. I liked her right away, and she made me feel like a mother. My friend told me that her company needed a security guard. The salary they were offering was higher than what he was getting at the time, so I encouraged him to go, and he got the job with the help of a friend.
His daughter was with me while he worked the night shift. I was practically her mother. I got her ready for school and drove her there myself. She was five years old at the time. He proposed to me at the end of that year. He said I was a better mother to his daughter than her biological mother. He promised me that even though I was six years older than him, we could make this work. I accepted him because the marriage was convenient for both of us. After we married, he moved out of his single room and into my chamber and hall self-contained. I adored him and performed all of my wifely duties. My salary was more than double his, so I was paying for his daughter’s tuition and utilities. I used to give him daily money because his pay would be late. I cooked with my own money. This was never an issue for me. I adored him and my daughter, and they were members of my family.
We attempted to have children. I miscarried three times in the span of five years. I thought I was pregnant again when I was 45 because I stopped having menstrual periods. When I went to the hospital, I was told I had reached menopause. I was heartbroken. I wanted to have my own children, but fate had other plans. I had to learn to accept it. My husband was supportive, and I didn’t feel childless because her daughter was so close to me and loved me so much. My husband then developed a bad attitude. He was always upset with me. ..you’re always frustrating me in some way. The real issue began when my husband told me that his mother misses him and her granddaughter and that they were going to spend a few weeks with her. It was during the summer vacation. I concurred. Then it became a habit. They were staying at his mother’s house on weekends. I had been single for many years before meeting him, and I was so used to being independent that I may have sensed something was wrong with his behaviour, but I refused to accept it.
I stopped seeing his daughter around 2019. He returned from his mother’s house alone. When I inquired about her, he became agitated and stated that she would be staying with my mother-in-law from now on. I’ll call her on the phone I bought her, and she won’t answer. I later discovered she had blocked me. In the meantime, I had done nothing wrong to her. My husband began sleeping out for a week, sometimes two weeks, without telling me why. When I ask him where he’s been, he gets defensive and yells at me, saying I talk too much. This pattern continued, and my husband did not sleep at home during the lockdown in 2020. His mother died at the end of 2019, and we all went to the funeral. My husband and daughter were supposed to return home after she died. However, my husband has stated that they will remain in their family home. It made no sense to me because it was so far from his workplace and the girl’s school. I said I’d join them, and the response was a firm no.
Short story. During the lockdown, I discovered that my husband had met the mother of his daughter and that they had rekindled their love. He was actually going to see his baby mama the entire time he said he was going to see his mother. My mother-in-law always thought I was too old for her son and was never nice to me, so calling her was difficult. My husband’s baby mama had given birth to a son for him and was now pregnant again. I called my husband’s 15-year-old daughter, and she told me everything. She also told me that I was a good mother to her, but now that she has found her biological mother, she doesn’t want to see me and her mother advised her to stay away from me. My husband couldn’t possibly divorce me. He, on the other hand, packed his belongings and moved in with the mother of his children, so I did what he wanted and divorced him.
My therapist advised me to journal and write about my experience in order to relieve some of the pain. But it hasn’t helped, which is why I’m sharing it here. Every day, I wake up feeling lonely and useless. My brother is the only person I see on occasion. He is the only remaining member of my family. Even so, I don’t want his wife to start complaining about my frequent visits, so I’ve reduced my visits. What makes some people so evil? Why did he propose to me and marry me knowing he would abandon me at the slightest provocation? He duped me and made me fall for him only for him to betray me. Now that I’m 50, I feel like I’ve squandered my life. There is no husband, no child. My old age will be lonely and sad. If this is my reward for having a good heart, I’ve accepted it. I wish them all the best.
