This whole marriage thing is quite difficult. I wish I had taken my time because I cannot stay married to this husband of mine, even if we have only been married for 14 months and I am pregnant. We dated for three months until he was sent to Nigeria for job reasons. He was scheduled to remain there for a year, and he assured me he wanted to marry me. He handed me a promise ring to verify it, and then went on to publicly notify my parents of his plans so that they would not accept any guy until he returns in a year.
Every day, we talked to ourselves. In that case, I’d say he gave it his all. His job was tough, yet he found time every day before bed to contact me on video. We’ll be conversing and he’ll fall asleep and leave me.
I appreciated his efforts to make the relationship work, which made me fall even more in love with him. He was transferring money on a regular basis and even to my parents. He’ll call and request to speak with my parents. My mother used to taunt me that if I let such a nice man slip through my fingers, she would be furious and we would both laugh about it. When he returned after a year, he stated that he saw no reason why we should not marry. He was approaching 40 years old and had spent his entire life studying and working, so he was eager to marry.
I was also 30 years old and had a diploma. I wasn’t doing much better, but I was assisting my mother’s sister at her boutique, and she gave me something tiny every week. To be honest, marriage has always terrified me. My parents are still together, but the way they used to argue terrified us as youngsters.
My older sister divorced her husband when he was found with another woman. “nsem Pii”. So when my partner proposed, I was a little apprehensive, but he was treating me so nicely, and my parents pushed me to accept him as soon as possible, so we married. We dated for roughly a year and four months in all. But it was a distant relationship for a year. I never stayed with him while we were dating, and we only had s*x once while we were dating.
We did it after he returned from Nigeria, and he was OK with it. It took me a few weeks after our wedding to notice his major disorganisation. I have two brothers, and I know how messy men can be at times. But, in comparison to my husband, even my brothers are incredibly neat.
My hubby is far too filthy. Aaaba! He bathes and clothes nicely before leaving the house, so you won’t suspect anything. But when he comes home, you can see his true colours. He will not bathe until I push him to do so. This is how it is every weekend when he does not go to work. I used to lure him with sx to bring him into the bathroom with me, but it no longer works because he prefers sx on the bed.
He could go a week without showering while he was on leave in May. When he gets up, he’ll be in front of the television from morning until evening. He’ll eat, and the dishes will end up all over the floor. I’ll return home from work in the evening to grab the plates and wash them.
He is also one of those guys that acquire body odour after going a day without bathing, and that perspiration will be the first thing you smell when you enter the room because he enjoys AC and has closed all the windows. He may go two weeks wearing the same boxers. I’m not joking. I got him 12 pairs of boxers, but he still likes his old ones. He like two in particular, and when he chooses one, he may wear it for weeks.
He sleeps in the same boxers and wakes up in the same boxers. Even if he bathes, he will just lift it and shake it vigorously as if clearing dust from the inside, and then he will wear it in this manner. I threw away one of the old boxers one day, and he didn’t eat my food for several days as a result… as the leader of the home, I have offended him…hmm.
My husband is so dirty that when it comes to house chores, I am completely overwhelmed. He won’t do anything, and if he wants to drink water, he can call you to come to get it for him when he can just walk to the fridge and grab one.
Surprisingly, he is a highly industrious person at work. He makes no remark about it. He’ll get up early and go, but he’s a different guy at home. When I wasn’t pregnant, I could endure his body odour, but once I was, it was intolerable. It made my sickness worse, so I sat him down and talked to him about his personal cleanliness one time. He became enraged with me.
He said that at 38 years old, I was treating him like his mother and elder sisters, who were always hovering over him and instructing him what to do. I had to remain silent in order for things to calm down. When I had the opportunity, I spoke with one of his sisters, who informed me that my husband was so sluggish that she went to his apartment weekly to wash his plates and clothing for him. He is the youngest of six children and the only boy, so that may be a role. I used to visit him while we were dating, and the home was always clean. He was acting strangely because he wanted to impress me at the moment.
Despite his lack of cleanliness, I absolutely like this guy. He is incredibly ambitious and has a way of motivating you to perform better. He now intends to enrol me in college once we have our child. The only issue is that he becomes defensive if you point out something he does to him. He sometimes urinates all over the toilet seat. When you complain, he becomes enraged and complains the rest of the day.
He believes that my role as a wife is to keep the house in order. I don’t disagree, but does that imply he should intentionally make the area dirty so I can clean it? Our tiny washing machine was damaged; he promised to replace it, but he has yet to do so. My fingers hurt a lot while I’m washing his clothing since he may wear one shirt until he’s happy before changing. I’m exhausted from complaining about the boxers.
My brothers used to replace theirs every 2 to 3 days, despite my advice to do so every day. I wish my spouse would change his boxers as my brothers do. The scent alone is terrible. He also loves me to suck his thing when we are intimate. Meanwhile, the area is densely forested and stinks. Thankfully, he no longer makes such requests now that I’m pregnant.
When we first married, he would come home from work and ask for it. I used to get him to bathe by bathing myself, and it worked for a while, but one day he was too sluggish to accompany me to the bath, and I had to fulfil my wifely responsibilities and suck him. The odour did not leave my nose when I finished.
It was the first time I told him, and it was also the first time we had a serious disagreement in our marriage. He remarked no man’s thing smells like lavender, and I offended him by informing him of the terrible odour. He claims that shaving causes him to itch there, thus he hasn’t shaven in years and will not do so in the future.
My spouse was apparently missing when God shared the personal hygiene grace because huh… I understand that marriage is not flawless, and that everyone has a burden to bear. I recognise that I, too, have shortcomings, and I strive to be a decent wife for him. But how can I talk to him such that he will at least listen to me? If I tell his mother to talk to him, he would be furious with me for disclosing such a sensitive thing.
It’s too early in our marriage for things like this to bother me, and I’m now wondering how I’ll cope with his body odour for the many years ahead of us. If I hadn’t seen any of these indicators when we were dating, I would not have hurried into marriage. When we met or I visited him, he was always nice and fresh, with no odour. I considered speaking with a godly man that my husband really admires. He presided over our wedding. But he’ll be upset with me, which I don’t want to happen. Could you please assist me?
