I’m a 59-year-old senior accountant who plans to retire next year. I’m having a problem. I’ve been married to a devoted woman for the past 32 years. I consider myself fortunate. I didn’t have anything to my name when I met my wife, but she stuck with me, and we started a life together. We have three grown children. Our first two children are married and have children of their own. I was promoted at work and transferred to the Central Region nine years ago. My wife was opposed to the idea. She’s grown accustomed to my presence over the years. I wanted her to accompany me, but she had responsibilities at home. At the time, our children were quite old. The oldest was in his early twenties, and the youngest was fifteen. But she had to stay behind due to the youngest and the need to inventory the stores in front of our house. We also have taxis and Ubers working for us, so my wife had to stay in Accra to manage everything.
To begin work, the company provided me with a two-bedroom apartment in the Central Region. My wife was doing well the first year and came over on weekends. It was, however, stressful for her. It was not simple. I joined a church in my new neighbourhood and met this lovely woman there. She was a single mother of one girl in her 30s. I want to point out that we were both vulnerable. She required funds to care for her child. I needed someone to cook and do housework for me. I began inviting her to my house, and she was helpful with chores. She does the laundry before I ask and irons and cooks well, just like my wife. She would come to my house in the mornings and do things for me, and I would pay her before she left.
My first daughter married and had a child, and my wife became preoccupied with caring for the child. Coming to Central Region on weekends was also too much for her, and she stopped coming ultimately, but we tried to call her every day. That’s when the lady I met came to live with me. I didn’t keep anything from her. I told her I was married with adult children, was here due to a job transfer, and would most likely be here until I retired. My first daughter married and had a child, and my wife became preoccupied with caring for the child. Coming to Central Region on weekends was also too much for her, and she stopped coming ultimately, but we tried to call her every day. That’s when the lady I met came to live with me. I didn’t keep anything from her. I told her I was married with adult children, was here due to a job transfer, and would most likely be here until I retired.
I met my wife when I was 17 and have never felt lonely. Allowing this woman and her daughter to stay with me was a risky move on my part. My wife could have appeared anywhere at any time. But I knew she’d never come this far without telling me. She knows I am frequently away from home due to work obligations. My second wife’ became pregnant three years into my stay in the Central Region and gave birth to a son. She had another boy within the next two years. Then I became serious about family planning. I went to have my vasectomy. I did not inform my wife at home. It wouldn’t make a difference. I was already old, and she had passed her menopause, so no children. I intend to marry her and bring her home with me. I’m retiring next year, and my wife has no idea I have a family here.
To keep things hidden from my wife, I preferred to return home at least once a month. I also did not miss my first daughter’s and son’s weddings. I lack the courage to tell her about my other family in the Central Region, and every time I return home, I feel heavy and as if I have betrayed my wife. We’ve been together for a long time. I don’t want to let down my adult children. I’ve updated my will to include my two young children, who will inherit some of my businesses and one house. But the majority of my belongings belong to my wife and grown children. The second wife’ said she didn’t mind if I married her or not. I continue to look after her and the children and provide adequate housing. In Accra, I have a nearly finished three-bedroom house. I’ve bequeathed it to my children with her, and I’d like them to come and live there when I retire. My employer provided my current location in the Central Region, and I will lose it when I retire.
I want to make the best possible decision, so I don’t cause any problems after I’m gone. Is it a good idea to introduce my children’s two mothers? I don’t want to cause pain to my first wife. She had gone to great lengths for me, even when I did not deserve it. My children hold high regard for me. I don’t want them to know I’m sharing my bed with another woman. I have not married the other woman, but she is my second wife. She has been with me for seven years and adores me. Can I solve this without causing conflict?
Source: Anonymous Confessions
