We dated for eight years. We were both financially insecure, and he was constantly promising us what our future would be like. When I turned 30 last year, I was sick of him and his empty promises. I eventually left the relationship and started another the next day. So much happened during those eight years of dating that I feel compelled to explain. Let’s call him Kofi. He’s four years older than me, and we grew up in the same neighbourhood. He stated that he has always liked me, even as a child, but has never approached me. My mother and I eventually moved out of the neighbourhood and rented somewhere else. I ran into him again at a program when I was 21. I couldn’t place him, but he did. A year later, we started dating. He always pretended that I was out of his league, and he worked extra hard to keep me with him. I’ll say it straight because I don’t hate him and I’m not ungrateful.
Following SHS, I attended a fashion design school. My mother was a single mother who couldn’t afford the tuition. Kofi took out loans for me to pay my fees, and he handled all other expenses. Everything, including my sewing kit and weekly money. He didn’t have a specific job at the time. He worked on everything that needed to be done. He could assist masons in the construction of a house or a road. That sort of thing. Anything requiring human labour. Kofi dropped out of SHS after his father died and his mother was unable to care for all seven of them. He saw me through fashion school, and I graduated. Following that, he obtained a container for me, and I began working. He was even the one who suggested I set up a Facebook and Instagram page for my business. So I did, and I’ve gotten a lot of online customers as a result. He also rented a single-room self-contained apartment for my mother and me. That’s where I stayed with her until she became ill and died.
Because I am my mother’s only child, it is customary for me to purchase her coffin and the dress she will wear. I’d already spent a lot of the little money I had to pay for hospital bills. As usual, Kofi stepped in and provided the funds. He wasn’t doing a better job, so I asked where he got the money, and he told me not to worry because what matters is that my mother is buried peacefully. Kofi bought me a refrigerator and a television. But I don’t want it to appear that he bought everything just for me. He was staying in a kiosk with two of his friends, and there was no room for those items. We thought we’d be here forever at the time, so he bought those things for both of us. He was also spending a significant amount of time at my end. He had a key and could go watch TV while I was at work. The only thing on the other side were his clothes. He was mostly staying with me.
I became pregnant for the first time. I wasn’t prepared for it at all. Keeping the child was not an option for me. He was overjoyed when I told him. We didn’t have enough money to care for a child, so I didn’t see how this was good news. But he was overjoyed. I began to persuade him that we should terminate this pregnancy because it was unplanned and we didn’t have the financial means to care for a child. He was still hoping that God would make a way for us, so I should hold on to it. I didn’t pay attention to him. I spoke with a friend, and she drove me to a place that does it, where I went without his knowledge. Following that, I informed him that I had terminated the pregnancy and that it was the best thing I could have done. He became so enraged with me that he stopped coming to my house or calling me for weeks.
I never contacted him. I waited for him to calm down and call. I was there one weekend when he showed up, and we patched things up. I became pregnant once more. I didn’t tell him about this one because of what happened the first time. I told my friend that I preferred to end it quietly and without his knowledge. When I brought up marriage in our conversations, he’d tell me that we needed more time to save money and that he couldn’t afford the items on the list my family would give him. Meanwhile, he has purchased a refrigerator, an electric cooker, a television, rented a house for me, and many other items. This marriage thing became a source of contention between us. At the same time, another man was pursuing me. He came to my shop after seeing my pictures on Instagram. I liked him, so I accepted him after a while and ended my relationship with Kofi on the same day. When I told Kofi I was leaving him, he cried like a baby and begged me not to. But I had already made up my mind.
I didn’t want him to come to the place he rented for me, so I moved elsewhere. My friend assisted me in packing. But I was at this new location when Kofi knocked on the door. When I opened, he demanded that I return everything he had invested in me. His eyes were bright red, and he was behaving strangely. He said he was coming for his refrigerator, TV, and microwave, and that I should also produce the baby I had aborted. He barged into my room, and I followed him inside. We were insulting ourselves as he disconnected the TV. I wanted to hurt him, so I told him I had an abortion without his knowledge, and that’s when he began telling me to have his children for him. He was acting as if he wanted to force himself on me, so I began yelling and people began to gather.
They wouldn’t let him take anything from my room. I noticed tears in his eyes as he was being dragged away. The most vexing aspect is that my relationship with the new guy lasted only a month. He got what he wanted and then just disappeared. I no longer adore Kofi. He has no plans to marry and being with him was stressful. We were always broke, and I’m sick of it. He has been bombarding me with social media messages urging me to return to him or produce the babies and everything he has spent on me. Because of him, I’m looking for a new place to live and rent because he can come to wherever I am at any time. Please, Admin, advise me on what to do about him. I don’t want to see him again. He stated that he wishes to have children with me, so I should become pregnant and replace the children I had aborted. Something I’d rather not do.
Source: Anonymous Confessions
