I’ve known him since I was a kid. We were neighbours, so we were always together. I was a little tomboyish in my childhood, so I was always playing with the boys, and I was the only girl in their company. We were all around the same age and would gather at someone’s house to play football or video games. That’s when some of the guys started touching and pressing on me. We were in our early twenties at the time. The boys are around seven, and they’ve all slept with me. I’m not sure what was wrong with me at the time, but I couldn’t say no to them, and I was afraid they wouldn’t want me to be their friend anymore, so whenever they called, I went.
Sometimes three or four of them would take turns on me. When I was about 19, they began to ignore me when we started growing. They will leave if I approach them. They’ll get together somewhere and not call me. They started having girlfriends and ignoring me. It was excruciatingly painful for me. I was in love with one of them for many years and gave him all the signs, but he never said anything to show he loved me. I was accepted to UCC, and my family was also leaving the neighbourhood, so I decided to tell him how I felt and see if he felt the same way. But he just laughed and said that my v*gina is a highway and that all the local boys have passed through it, so he can’t date someone like me. It was so painful to hear him say it and then laugh and walk away.
When I started college, I decided that guys were not worth it. I dedicated myself entirely to studying and spent most of my time in the library. We also moved out of our family home and into our own home. I went to counselling because of what the guy said and what I had done in the past. I had dreams about having s*x with various men, which bothered me. I overcame my past trauma with the help of God and my therapist. I graduated from UCC with honours as a first-year student. Then, last year, one of my cousins, with whom I used to live in our family home, hosted an outdooring for his child, and we all went. It was the first time I’d been back in about five years. As fate would have it, I ran into the same guys I grew up with staring at me.
When we were about to leave, the guy I used to like, the same one who said those hurtful things to me, approached me and begged me to unblock him. He stated that I had grown wonderful and that he liked me. I informed him that I was not interested. He began stalking me on social media, leaving comments under my posts claiming that I was his girlfriend, and I blocked him. This guy went on Facebook to ask for my sister’s second phone number. That number is only known to my family members. My younger sister was unaware of what we had done in the past, and she recognised him as an old friend in the neighbourhood, so she gave him my phone number. He was begging me on the phone when he called and said he wanted us to meet.
We went somewhere to talk, and he apologised, said he had changed, and liked me. He stated that he is earnest about me and many other things. I continue to like him. I told him I’d consider it. I’m wondering if I should give him a chance. Except for the seven guys and him in particular, I haven’t had feelings for any other guy. How will I ever be in a relationship if I reject him now and don’t feel attraction to any guy? I require your assistance. Thank you very much. It made me cry for days.
