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I’ve had two miscarriages as a result of continuous abuse by my husband, and yet my parents fully support him because of money

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Hello, Administrators and Readers. Please advise me on what to do. I’m a 23-year-old Muslim woman who is married to a 47-year-old man. My parents told me about him shortly after graduating high school and that he would be my husband. He had been coming to see us since I was a child, and I assumed he was just a friend of my parents. I wouldn’t say I liked it because I had done well in Wassce and wanted to attend university. My parents didn’t care about my disagreement because everything was already settled before they told me. He married me just a few weeks later as his second wife. He promised to let me continue my education if I was respectful and submissive. He and his first wife had no children; she died a year after we married. She had been battling an illness for many years.

My husband used to be very nice to me. I tried my hardest the first year to do everything I expected. I once saw an advertisement for a distance education programme at one of the universities and informed him about it. It was a weekend show. As promised, my husband accepted and paid for my enrollment. But after the first year of our marriage, I began to notice some minor details about him. He can become enraged for no apparent reason. He treated me less like a human and more like a slave or an animal. We can watch TV together, and he will tell me to take a bath and lie down until he comes over to have s*x with me. It was around 7 p.m. when he said that, and I had just served him food after he got home from work. I expected him to join me in a few minutes because he said I should go and wait and that he was on his way.

Because it’s the main bedroom, I took my bath inside before lying down and waiting. I could still hear the TV on, and he was watching the same movie we were. I don’t remember how long I slept, but a hard slap awakened me. I began to cry because it was so painful. That was the first of my husband’s many abusive acts against me. He warned me that night not to sleep when he told me to go and wait for him to have s*x with me. He did the same thing the next night. He watched TV while I was in the bedroom for more than three hours. I summoned my courage and told him I was very sleepy and didn’t want him to beat me.

He warned me not to do it again and said I had disrespected him. I’m currently in hiding, so I’d like to tell him about all the pain I’ve been through in his hands. He wanted s*x all the time, regardless of whether I was wet or not. Suppose I wasn’t prepared or enjoying myself. He’ll say, “I’m the woman, and it’s my duty.” Because it hurt, sex often felt like rape to me. He can wake me up at midnight and turn me over for doggy when I am not ready. If I make any noise out of pain, he will hit me and warn me not to make any noise. I was constantly calling my mother and crying. My mother made matters worse for me. She asked if I knew what she had gone through in her marriage with my father and that we were created to serve the man. In our second year of marriage, I became pregnant. My husband advised me to halt school. He stated that now that I am pregnant, I will stay at home and raise our future children.

I even suggested deferring so I could continue later. He stated that I would not continue. He slapped me and beat me with his belt that night. I was expecting it. He was unconcerned. I returned home the next day to inform my parents. My father remained silent. He told me to return to my husband’s house. My mother recently said things would improve once I started having children. Then one day, I awoke to find myself bleeding. My husband took me to the hospital, where it was discovered that I had miscarried. After that, I had a second miscarriage. My husband became even angrier. He was punishing me by having sx with me. I told a friend about it, particularly the sx, and he said I was lying. My husband appears to be too gentle for her to believe me. Then there was the time when I thought I had malaria. I was shaking. I had just returned from the drugstore, where I had purchased malaria medication. I was in the bedroom when he got home.

I had not come to see him. He was calling for me, and when he entered the room, he asked why I was lying down. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and showed him the medication. He remained silent. He just walked away from me and went downstairs. Then he summoned me to bring him food. I did my best and then went back to bed. He woke me up in the night and began spreading my legs. I told him I wasn’t feeling well and that he should check my temperature. He didn’t mind me and was trying to get in. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t feeling well. He didn’t care that I hadn’t eaten and was shivering with a fever. I began resisting and attempting to stop him. That night, he beat me so severely that our neighbours came to bang on our door. It’s a new neighbourhood, and the next house is not directly across the street from ours. Before the next place, there is bare land.

An elderly couple in their 60s lived next door. They escorted me to their side to spend the night. My husband didn’t even try to stop me. Perhaps he realised how much he had hurt me. This couple drove me to the hospital the following day. It turned out that I wasn’t suffering from malaria but was pregnant again, with symptoms that were distinct from my previous pregnancies. My mother always ridiculed me for being weak and disgracing the family. It became a Domestic violence case, and I went to live with my parents. My father stated that he is still my husband and has provided financial assistance to my family for many years, so I should return. Suicide crossed my mind several times, but I reached out to an SHS classmate friend in the end. He’s also Muslim, so he’ll get it. I had no idea he had visited another region. I begged him to help me while crying on the phone and telling him everything. He desired that I speak with an Imam or other respected individuals. But I was afraid my parents would accuse me of further disgracing them. If I return to my husband, he will murder me, and my parents will still blame me for my death.

I begged him to come over and spend some time with him. I could tell I would bother him, but he agreed because I was crying hard. I left without waiting for the first prayers. It was only one bag containing a few clothes, my toothbrush, and buta. To cut a long story short, he met me at the station at his end, and we took another car to his house. I’ve been here for three days. Except for one midnight call, I haven’t turned on my phone since I arrived. I left a note on my father’s favourite chair, informing them that I was fine and that they should not look for me. My friend is a true Muslim gentleman who has never touched me. He sleeps on the floor and has shared his bed with me. I can see how this bothers him because he is the quiet type.

In this situation, what should I do? I’m pregnant, and surprisingly, I haven’t lost this one after my husband beat me and the stress that followed. I can’t return to the abuse. He can murder me at any time. I turned on my phone at midnight to find a slew of messages. My husband has come to my house to promise my parents that he will never beat me again. It’s also possible that my father is lying to force me to come home. My siblings are all younger than me and don’t understand much of anything, especially the younger ones. The person who comes after me is only 11 years old. I don’t have any friends. It’s just this one of my friends.

Meanwhile, I am pregnant, and it is inappropriate for me to remain in this single room with him. When I start showing, people will think he has impregnated me. What should I do, please?

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Woman confesses that her spouse always defecates in bed as he’s ready to ‘cum’

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"I've been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed. "We've tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it's too sweet and he can't contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex. "But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse."

A Ghanaian lady who is married to a “loving and responsible husband” is looking for help dealing with what she describes as “disgusting” sexual encounters with her spouse.

The married woman with two children has said that her husband always defecates in bed when he is at his height of ecstasy during sex.

Revealing her traumatic situation to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3, she stated that she is considering quitting her eleven-month marriage because she cannot bear it any longer.

“I’ve been married for eleven months now. My spouse has had this problem since we started dating till now. The problem is that whenever my husband and I have sex and he is ready to cum and it is at its climax, he eases himself into the bed.

“We’ve tried to get him to stop, but he always complains it’s too sweet and he can’t contain himself. As a result, we decided that he would always relax himself before we started having sex.

“But he will continue to do it while cuming. I refused to give him sex while we were dating because it was horrible. I married him because, despite it, he is a responsible, nice, and caring spouse,” she narrated.

According to her, the situation is impacting her mental health because all attempts to settle her issue have failed.

“I’m going through a lot because it makes me puke; mentally, I’m breaking down. I’m not sure whether to quit the marriage because we currently have two children. I tried every possible solution to the problem, but nothing worked,” she said.

She is presently seeking assistance to deal with the circumstance, as the problem is harming her mental health.

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I prefer to masturbate than have sex with my husband – Lady shares ordeal

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She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend. "Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand," she said Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

A Ghanaian woman has expressed her sexual discontent with her spouse.

The lady, whose identity has been kept hidden, told Confessions on TV3 that her spouse never stays in bed for more than two minutes.

She stated that she has always felt sexually unfulfilled after intercourse, therefore she chooses to masturbate to satisfy herself rather than having sex with her boyfriend.

“Within two minutes, he had come. As a result, I avoid him and prefer to masturbate to satisfy my sexual cravings since, as soon as we start having sex, he has come and the item will stand,” she said to Ms. Nancy on Confessions on TV3.

Meanwhile, Life Coach Ebenezer Quaye, a guest on the show, encouraged lovers to share feedback to each other after participating in physical intimacy with their loved ones.

This, he argued, will inspire spouses to work on their sexual deficiencies.

“If you are having sex and do not receive feedback from your wife, there is a problem.” Wives should also provide feedback to their spouses. “It’s so nice and encouraging,” he commented.

He also gave some strategies for improving sexual shortcomings between lovers.

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How my husband sex trafficked me for 13 years

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When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party. "It's going to be fun." She said. "Sure. "I would love to." I didn't have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone's attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

I learned that life was unfair at an early age, and in the worst way conceivable. My stepfather used to sexually assault me, and when I eventually had the bravery to denounce him, he received only three months of treatment as punishment and was allowed to live with me again.

My mother brought him back for financial reasons, but she kept us apart. They slept below, while we slept above. Nevertheless, I was traumatised and lived in terror. As if I hadn’t gone through enough pain, I met a man who I believed loved me and who sex trafficked me.

When I was about 14 years old, one of my neighbours came over and invited me to a pool party.

“It’s going to be fun.” She said.

“Sure. “I would love to.”

I didn’t have many friends, so it felt good to be part of something for once. I got my bathing suit and followed the girl. Before we arrived at the place, we encountered a small gathering of teens. There was one person who stood out from the crowd. He had everyone’s attention, and everyone wanted to speak with him. My companion began heading towards them, and I followed her.

“Hello, Greg. I invite you to meet my buddy Wendy. “Wendy, this is Greg.” She spoke to the guy.

Greg turned to me, smiled, and extended his hand before saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

At that point, my knees were weak. My heart began beating, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Can I get your number?” He asked.

“Sure,” I responded and handed it to him.

I didn’t expect him to call, but later that night he did, and we spoke for hours. That was the start of a relationship that led to my being sex trafficked.

Greg understood how to make me feel appreciated, which is all I wanted. We became amorous quickly, and I fell pregnant soon after. I had been under my mother’s care since I was 17 years old when I had my child. Greg demanded that I leave my mother’s house so that we could make our relationship work.

“How am I going to do that?” I asked.

“I’ve got a plan. You may relocate to a shelter, where they will consider you emancipated from your parents, and then you will be eligible for welfare checks, and we will be able to get an apartment and live happily ever after.” He explained.

At the time, it seemed like a fairy tale, and I was all in. I ran away from home, and Greg took me and my kid to a shelter. However, life at the shelter was not as easy as Greg made it appear.

It took long for me to receive my first welfare check, and I was running out of baby goods. So I contacted Greg and told him I needed money to take care of our child.

“Don’t worry, I have a job for us to do.” He said.

I assumed he meant cleaning people’s homes because that’s what he told me he did for money. So I picked up my kid and went to see him.

“What are we going to do?” I asked Greg.

“Well, you’re going to walk up this street, wait on that corner for a man to pick you up and you’ll have sex with that man in his car and he’ll pay you.” He explained without emotion.

I was perplexed and apprehensive, but he kept bringing up my daughter and insisting that if I loved her, I would do it. I felt like I had no option. My knees and hands shook as I proceeded to where he had instructed me to stand. As soon as I arrived, a car stopped in front of me, and the driver requested me to get in. That’s how my spouse started sex trafficking me.

“I know a place we can go in the woods.” He said.

I did not say anything. When we arrived in the woods, we both exited and walked to a private location where he began removing his clothing. I took off mine, we had sex, and he gave me the money before driving me back to where he had picked me up.

When I came out, I went to Greg, who was still standing in the same location and handed him all of the money.

“I love you.” I knew I had made the proper decision in choosing you as my wife. He said.

We went to purchase diapers and formula for the baby and had a little extra. However, a week later, we were out of diapers again.

That time, he encouraged me to take on two or three customers so that I might earn enough money to leave the shelter.

“Do you want your daughter to live in a shelter for the rest of her life?” He asked.

From there, he started one of the greatest prostitution networks in the region. It comprised four to ten females from various states. He sexually trafficked me for 13 years while I was still married to him. It varied from once a week to every other day, depending on how much money he received from the other females. I worked as a street girl, and escort, and made house calls. Not to add that I have two more children with him.

People continually questioned me why I stayed with him for so long, but no matter what I told them, they couldn’t comprehend what I was going through. Greg hooked us to drugs and physically abused us if we attempted to escape. He would also send the other girls to find any girl who had gone and beat her until she returned. I felt bonded to the other females since we weren’t permitted to have outside contact. So, anytime I managed to flee, I felt horrible and returned because I didn’t want them to suffer.

After 13 years, I was finally free of Greg. I had recently given birth and was in the kitchen making supper for us when I noticed police cruisers outside our house. The cops swooped in, arrested Greg, and detained me for interrogation.

However, I refused to talk to them because I was afraid Greg would beat me if he found out. Because I did not comply, they accused me of sex trafficking and sentenced me to 23 months in prison. Greg was also charged with sex trafficking and was sentenced to ten years in jail.

My children were removed while I was in prison, and because the judge in the custody case felt I was a sex trafficker, she promised that I would not be granted custody of my children. When I got out, I returned to school and earned an associate’s degree. In addition, I returned to the same judge who heard my custody case to request custody of my kid. I went with my attorneys, counsellors, and even the police officers who detained me to explain my situation to the court.

She returned my child to me, and I returned home to live with my mother, who sadly died later. Today, I feel comfortable and satisfied, which is a wonderful place to be. I’ve realised that there are individuals eager to help those who have faced the same hardships that I have, and if you’re going through anything similar, you don’t have to suffer alone or in silence.

This narrative is based on the Unfiltered Stories YouTube video.

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