Featured
We Got Married Only To Kill The Joy In Our Relationship
The first time I saw Sarah, I knew that she was the one for me. We were in the same class in training college. For the first year in school, I never spoke to her, even though in my mind I referred to her as my wife. She always had a faraway look in her eyes. As if there was somewhere she would rather be.
She never tried to fit in or make friends. I observed that she looked extremely uncomfortable anytime she had to talk to someone in the class. This is why I couldn’t work up the courage to approach her. I didn’t want to spook her or scare her off. I watched her from a distance for over a year.
In our second year, we found ourselves working together on a group project. She was shy during our first encounter. I knew it would take time for her to relax around me. And I am a patient man. I was in no rush to push any agenda. I took my time coaxing her out of her shell. The longer we worked on the project, the more I interacted with her. Soon I started making progress. She started talking to me on her own. Then we started holding full conversations on subjects unrelated to school. She was still shy and quiet around everyone else, but when she was with me she was comfortable. This raised suspicions among our classmates. They started spreading rumours that we were dating. I never denied it, and neither did she.
We enjoyed our friendship to the fullest. At some point, things progressed. We were still friends but we did things that were not particularly friendly. We hugged each other affectionately. We would throw our hands around each other’s waist and walk around campus. Occasionally we would kiss, and cuddle. It was when we got to our final year that we made our relationship official. God, the love we shared was intense. I never knew the human heart was capable of holding such strong emotions until Sarah came along. She made all my past love stories look like child’s play. We even lost focus on our studies and almost failed our final exams. In the end, we passed by a slim margin.
After school, we used some of our trainee allowances to rent an apartment and moved in together. Both of our families didn’t complain when we did that. Our relationship got better after we moved in. We had constant access to each other. Which only added more fuel to our love life. We burned but that was ok for us. Our passion was unquenchable. There was no shuperu position that we didn’t try. Sarah never withheld herself from me. Sometimes she even initiated things. We continued to live together during our national service. People only got to know that we were not married when we told them.
One day we were having a conversation when I said “Do you know that the only difference between us and married couple is that we are not married?” “What’s your point?” She asked. I continued, “Well what do you think about us getting married?” She looked shocked as if I’d asked a question that ought not to be asked. “Are we ready? Marriage is a big step you know,” she said. I smiled and held her hands; “I think we’ve already taken that step. We’ve been living together for years now. And it’s working. We are happier than some married couples I know. Let’s just seal the deal before God and our loved ones.” She smiled and said, “Sure. Let’s do it.”
After three years of living together, we got married. I felt like I had won the lottery. I replayed our journey in my mind and smiled. Right from the moment I met her, I knew she was mine. It took a long time but it finally happened. I was happy, and so was she. A few months into the marriage we started trying to conceive. Nothing worked and as we speak, nothing has worked in our favour. We’ve tried the obvious solution. We’ve tried the not-so-obvious ones too. Nothing. We have become frustrated, Sarah especially. She is tired of the process. When I try to touch her she tells me “I have a headache.” “I am not in the mood.” Or “I am tired.” At first, I thought it was just stress. I hoped that in time she would be the Sarah I married. However, that hasn’t happened.
She could go for three months without the desire for my touch. I don’t remember the last time she initiated anything either. I am not proud to admit this but there were times I forced myself on her. It seemed like the only way I could have my way with her. She started calling it what it’s supposed to be called; rape. She accused me of it and use it anytime she wanted me to feel bad so I stopped pushing it.
The next thing I did was to find satisfaction with another woman. It happened once and I felt bad about it. Knowing myself, I won’t do it again. I confessed my infidelity to Sarah hoping she would forgive me. But things have gotten worse between us. She tells me, “When you touch me, the memory of how you cheated comes to mind and it begins to hurt afresh.” We are together but apart. Most often I think about it and it gives me a migraine. I don’t know how to make things right. The lack of shuperu is also driving me insane. Apart from that, the need for her to conceive is also another problem we have to deal with. How can she conceive when she doesn’t want to do what will put a baby in her stomach?
I am always angry and in a bad mood because of that. I don’t recognize who I am anymore. I didn’t even know myself. It’s like I’ve lost a huge chunk of who I used to be. I feel like a primal being who is controlled by his urges. And Sarah made me this way. She gave me so much shuperu when we were dating, only for her to stop giving it after marriage.
Honestly, some days I regret getting married. I wish we had waited a little longer. Our marriage is only a year old but there is no more passion. We used to burn but now we are ice cold. How am I supposed to look into the future with joy in my heart? Is this my “For better for worse” moment? I hope not. I need her to change. I need her to forgive me totally so we can be who we used to be again. Where do I start from to achieve that?”
Source: Silent Beads
Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to soccietywatch1@gmail.com
A range of herbal remedies can help reduce panic attack symptoms. Consider the following options:
- Valerian root has long been used to treat insomnia and anxiety. It may reduce the severity of panic attacks by soothing the nervous system.
- Chamomile: This plant has relaxing properties and has been long used to relieve anxiety and insomnia. Chamomile tea or supplements may help alleviate panic attack symptoms.
- Lavender: Lavender has long been used to relieve anxiety and tension because of its relaxing scent. Inhaling lavender essential oil or taking a lavender supplement may help relieve panic attack symptoms.
- Kava kava: For centuries, the Pacific Islands have used this plant to relieve anxiety and tension. It may reduce the severity of panic attacks by soothing the nervous system.
It should be noted that these herbs should not be used in place of professional medical care. If you’re having panic attacks, it’s critical that you obtain the right diagnosis and treatment from a doctor.
What causes panic attacks?
Starting a new career or migrating to a new location, as well as important life events such as getting married or having a kid, can be stressful.
Anxiety or depression in the family: If you have a family history of anxiety or depression, you may be more prone to panic attacks.
Excessive coffee or alcohol consumption, as well as sudden withdrawal or reintroduction, can cause panic attacks.
Medical disorders such as heart disease or hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) can also induce panic episodes.
It is crucial to understand that panic episodes can develop for no apparent reason. If you’re having panic attacks and aren’t sure what’s causing them, meeting with a mental health professional for further assessment and therapy may be beneficial.
How can you naturally treat a panic attack?
Deep breathing can help with physical panic attack symptoms like a racing heart and shortness of breath. Take a big breath in with your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale softly through your mouth.
To comfort oneself, employ positive self-talk such as “I can handle this,” “I am safe,” or “This will pass.”
Concentrate on the present: Panic episodes are frequently accompanied by rapid thoughts about the future or the past. Focus on your surroundings and physical sensations in your body to bring your attention back to the present moment.
Relaxation practises such as progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation, and yoga may all help you relax and quiet your mind and body.
Seek assistance: Speaking with a trusted friend or family member, as well as consulting a mental health professional, can help you manage panic attacks.
It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. They will pass, and the more practice you have at dealing with them, the better you will become.
How can you permanently stop panic episodes without medication?
Seek expert assistance: A mental health professional can assist you in determining the reasons for your panic attacks and developing a treatment plan to manage them. Treatment may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or other forms of therapy, as well as relaxation methods or lifestyle adjustments.
Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness meditation are all relaxation techniques that can help you relax and manage stress and anxiety.
Regular exercise can help you reduce stress and enhance your overall well-being. On most days of the week, aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity activity, such as brisk walking or cycling.
Eat a nutritious diet: Eating a diet high in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains while avoiding processed and sugary foods will improve your physical and mental health.
Get adequate sleep: Sleep is essential for physical and mental health. Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night.
Recognise and avoid circumstances or activities that may provoke panic attacks, such as coffee or alcohol usage, or specific sorts of environments.
It is critical to understand that panic episodes are a normal stress response and are not dangerous. You may learn to manage panic episodes and minimise their frequency and intensity with training and the correct tactics.
Following the cessation of alcohol drinking, a range of health problems may occur, some of which may be temporary and others of which may be permanent. Here are just a few examples:
- When a heavy drinker quickly stops drinking, they may experience withdrawal symptoms such as tremors, anxiety, and insomnia. In severe cases, alcohol withdrawal can be lethal, necessitating medical attention.
- Some elements, such as vitamin B1, can be inhibited by alcohol, and long-term heavy drinking can lead to deficiencies. These shortfalls can cause a number of health problems, including fatigue, muscle weakness, and nerve damage.
- Alcohol use can contribute to the development of mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, and abstaining from alcohol may assist in facilitating these conditions. However, refraining from alcohol may induce or aggravate mental health difficulties in other settings, particularly in persons with a history of mental illness.
- Alcohol use can cause considerable liver damage, such as fatty liver disease, alcoholic hepatitis, and cirrhosis. Abstinence from alcohol can help heal some of the damage, but in extreme situations, the damage may be irreversible.
It’s important to remember that everyone is unique, and the precise health issues that may occur after stopping alcohol may differ depending on the individual’s drinking history, general health, and other variables. It’s always a good idea to consult with a doctor or other healthcare expert about the potential health hazards of abstaining from alcohol and to seek medical attention if necessary.
What happens to your body physiologically after you quit drinking?
When a person stops drinking alcohol, their body adjusts to the lack of alcohol. This can cause a variety of physical symptoms, some of which are temporary while others are long-term. Here are some of the things that might happen in a person’s body after they quit drinking:
- Better sleep: Alcohol can interrupt sleep patterns and contribute to poor sleep quality. When a person stops drinking, their sleep may improve because their body no longer has to metabolise the alcohol.
- Alcohol contains a lot of calories, and excessive drinking can contribute to weight gain. Quitting drinking may result in weight loss since the body no longer absorbs the extra calories from alcohol.
- Improved digestion: Alcohol can irritate the lining of the digestive tract, contributing to problems like acid reflux. Quitting alcohol may improve digestion and reduce the number of digestive diseases.
- Better skin health: Alcohol dehydrates the skin, which can contribute to issues such as acne breakouts. Quitting alcohol may improve skin health and reduce skin diseases.
It’s crucial to remember that everyone is unique, and the physical consequences of stopping drinking will vary based on the individual’s drinking history, general health, and other circumstances. It’s always a good idea to talk to a doctor or other healthcare professional about the potential consequences of quitting drinking, and to seek medical help if necessary.
The length of time it takes for the body to return to normal after quitting drinking is determined by a number of factors, including the individual’s drinking history, overall health, and the severity of any alcohol-related health problems. The following are some general guidelines for how long it may take for specific physiological systems to return to normal after quitting drinking:
- Alcohol withdrawal symptoms often peak within the first 24-72 hours following the last drink and can persist for several days to a week. Alcohol withdrawal can be fatal in severe circumstances, demanding medical intervention.
- Alcohol may affect the brain and nervous system in a variety of ways, and the quantity and duration of alcohol ingested influence how long it takes for these systems to recover. In other circumstances, it may take months or years for the brain to fully heal.
- Heavy drinking may gravely harm the liver, which is in charge of breaking down and metabolising alcohol. The amount of time it takes for the liver to recover depends on the degree of the lesion and the individual’s general health. The liver may be able to repair itself in certain circumstances, but in others, the damage may be irreversible.
- Alcohol can irritate the digestive system lining, contributing to illnesses such as acid reflux. Within a few days to a week, abstaining from alcohol may result in improved digestion and a reduction in digestive difficulties.
It’s crucial to remember that stopping drinking may not totally cure the body, especially if the person has been drinking heavily for a long time. Long-term alcohol addiction can cause long-term harm to several biological systems in some situations. It’s always a good idea to consult with a doctor or other healthcare expert about the potential repercussions of stopping alcohol and to seek medical attention if required.
When you stop drinking, how can you know when your liver is healing?
The liver is a powerful organ that can repair itself after alcohol injury. The amount of time it takes for the liver to recover varies on the severity of the lesion and the individual’s overall health.
The liver is a strong organ that may heal itself after alcohol damage. The length of time it takes for the liver to recover depends on the degree of the lesion and the individual’s general health.
When you stop drinking, there are a few signs that your liver is healing:
The liver creates bile, which aids in fat digestion, which improves digestion. You may notice an improvement in your digestion after you stop drinking.
Alcohol is high in empty calories, which can contribute to weight gain. When you quit drinking, your body starts burning stored fat for energy, causing you to lose weight.
Increased energy: Alcohol might make you lethargic and fatigued. You may experience a rise in energy levels while your liver repairs.
Better skin: Alcohol may cause skin to dry out and become dull. You may notice an improvement in the look and texture of your skin while your liver continues to operate regularly.
It’s crucial to remember that alcohol-related liver damage is typically irreversible, so get medical attention if you’re concerned about the health of your liver. It is never too late to make positive lifestyle changes that will enhance your health and well-being.
What happens once you stop drinking?
Depending on their circumstances and reasons for quitting, each person’s life after stopping alcohol may seem very different. Some people may discover that they have more energy and are more productive, but others may find it difficult to adjust to life without alcohol.
You may notice the following changes after quitting alcohol:
Improved health: Quitting alcohol can bring a variety of health benefits, including a lower chance of developing diseases including liver disease, some cancers, and heart disease. You may experience advantages in your sleep and digestion as well.
More time and money: Drinking alcohol may be costly and time-consuming, especially if you do it regularly. If you stop drinking, you may be able to devote more time and money to other hobbies and activities.
Improved relationships: Alcohol can impair your judgement and conduct, leading to disagreements with loved ones. Quitting alcohol may help you enhance your social ties and communication skills.
Increased self-esteem: Depending on your motivation for quitting drinking, you may experience a feeling of success and satisfaction in your decision. This might boost your self-esteem and happiness.
It is vital to recognise that quitting alcohol is a personal decision, and everyone’s experience will be unique. It may be difficult at times, but the potential benefits are well worth the effort.
One of Johannesburg’s busiest roadways has been extensively damaged as a result of a suspected explosion from an underground gas pipeline.
Videos show portions of the road collapsing and automobiles flipping upside down.
According to authorities, one person was murdered and several were injured.
At the moment of the detonation, some witnesses described feeling the earth shake and then hearing a huge bang.
Harry Maguire accepts Isaac Adongo’s apologies
Argentina’s World Cup-winning coach, Lionel Scaloni, has hinted that he may resign
9 killed, several others injured in an accident at Ho
This was avoidable – Bonaa on fatal clashes in Nkwanta
I never indicated my house was sold – Speaker of Parliament
Akufo-Addo pardons eight Chiana SHS students who insulted him
Audio: Richard Attah’s wife narrates how ‘Aki and Pawpaw’ plotted the sack of Samuel Boadu
Video: I will marry 20 wives and have 10 concubines – Osofo Ajagurajahon Gh One TV with Serwaa Amihere
Reggie Rockstone vs Bongo Ideas on Twitter… Davido sends a DM to notorious Bongo Ideas
