My heart is pounding as I type all this. I’m so scared and embarrassed. I will try to summarize the whole thing as much as I can. I met a guy on Facebook in 2019. I must say in all candour that I really liked this guy. Prior to that, I was going out with one guy from my school. We had not broken up but the love wasn’t as deep as it was when we met.
The Facebook guy and I decided to meet up since he had been posted to one of the health facilities in cape coast not too long ago and I was also schooling there. He didn’t know I had a boyfriend because I didn’t tell him. I fell in love with him the very first day I met him.
Now after going out with him for sometime he started being suspicious and asked for my phone. To his utmost dismay, I was going out with my boyfriend from tertiary and also entertaining other guys. As the kind man that he is, he forgave me. I promised to end things with them because I never wanted to lose him. He is the man of my dreams. I made promises but couldn’t keep them .
I never broke things with my boyfriend but managed to clear those that I was entertaining. I didn’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings. One problem I’ve realized I have is me not being able to say NO to guys that are nice and probably have a good vibe.
My boyfriend has caught me about 3/4 times more after the first incident through my chats. I have broken up with the guy from my tertiary days now but still entertaining others. I’m currently going out with one other guy. He knew about him from my chats sometime ago but I promised to end things with him which I didn’t. I have been in Kasoa for almost a year for my service. I came home just this Thursday since service had ended.
Just yesterday, I visited my boyfriend and again he realized I hadn’t broken up with that guy as promised but was going out with him and things were serious from our chats. I professed my love to this guy in my texts for so many reasons which broke my man. He feels he’s not the best and I’m in love with the other guy. Sincerely speaking, he’s the one I’ve truly loved.
In fact more than I’ve ever loved anyone in any of my relationships. What he saw in my texts suggested that I loved the other guy more than him but that’s not true. This is the only place I can be sincere since no one will know who I am. I only sent those texts because I was trying to be grateful for all he’s done but not because I’m in love with him. I honestly don’t love him so you can say I’m sort of playing him or deceiving him.
My boyfriend has lost trust completely in me and feels he can’t trust me no more. All he said was I’m still young and exploring and that when I finally realize everything and decide to stick with one man, that’ll help. I asked for his decision after all that had happened and he said he hasn’t made one. His doors are always opened to me and likes me but can’t put all his hope in me. I broke down in tears. I haven’t been able to sleep all night. I’ve been thinking about all of this. I really want to stop all these stupid acts. I want to be with him only because he’s the man I love. I know he might doubt this because of what he saw in my texts with the other guy but they were just words with no meaning. Honestly he’s really the man of my dreams, the man I saw a future with and the man I ever prayed for.
He might travel soon and feels insecure because all those were happening right under his nose how much more when he leaves? I don’t want to lose him. I really love him. I don’t know how to prove to him that I’m going to change or make amends since I’ve promised countless times. I don’t want him to give up on me. I want another chance even though he’s given me more chances than I ever deserve. He suggested I conceive for him as surety before he leaves but I’m scared of my dad.
He’ll disown me for getting pregnant without being married so I told him it can’t happen because of my dad. I want to rescind my decision and conceive for him as he suggested earlier just to prove that I’ll wait for him and not do anything stupid behind him or in his absence. I’ve promised myself not to go back to my foolish ways. It’s not going to be automatic but I’ve got my mind psyched to stick with him.
He has proven beyond reasonable doubts his love for me and maturity and the least I could do is to be loyal. I have been dating boys all this while but this is a man. He’s not just matured with regards to age but mentally he is. I used to have doubts that a man like him wasn’t married nor in a relationship because we’ve never even spoken about his ex but after so many observations I’m convinced that he’s real.
My mum doesn’t know about this incident because I’ve not told her what happened yesterday. She’ll be disappointed and this will break her because she knows I love him, I’m still with him but doesn’t know I’m entertaining others now and also she loves and respects him so much. I already have her blessings on going out with him and even marriage should it happen. I don’t know what to do. My foolishness has cost me a lot already but I can’t lose him too.
Now , y’all should help me with steps to come out of this nonsense that is to stop entertaining other guys, stick to my boo only and say NO to other guys especially those who have been in my situation before because this is me wanting to make a conscious effort to be with him only and not lose him. Please y’all should help me.
You can bash me because I deserve every bit of it but please don’t say anything against him because he’s done nothing wrong but to love a crazy girl. Sorry for the long write up and pardon me for errors be it grammatical or typo. I’ll be reading comments.Kindly notify me when you post too.
Kindly send your confessions and relationship issues to our email: societywatch1@gmail.com
