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I’m leaving my boyfriend because he’s not sad about the death of my mother

Published

2 years ago

August 8, 2022

Majesty

We were friends for over a year before he finally gathered the courage to propose to me. He called me strong; “Too strong is not easy to talk to you about things of love. It’s like your heart and being aren’t carved for love. You rather hit the street and hustle than sit and listen to a man talk to you about love.” It was funny the way he said it. I told him, “No matter who we are or who we appear to be, there’s a place for love. No one, especially woman can escape the need for love.” So he proposed but I wasn’t that into him so I told him to give me some time. He had been a friend and I knew how good he was as a friend. I hadn’t had the time to look at him through the lens of love. As in, “Look at him, he’s so lovely. How I wish he was in my bed. Look at his eyes, I want my kids to have those things.” Never did I do that so when I asked for time, it was for me to think about him along those lines.

My mom fell sick along the line and I told him I was going home to visit her. He said, “Take me home with you. I want to see your mother. Does she look like you? I want to thank her for giving birth to a beautiful lady like you.” I said, “Awww.” Of course, I didn’t say it out loud. The strength in me wouldn’t allow me to be a woman in his presence. A day later, he was with me in a trotro to the bus station. Hours later, we were in a taxi going home to see my mother. He sat next to me, skin to skin, breath to breath. We’ve never been that close so it got me wondering; “Hmm this guy isn’t bad after all. He cares. Look at him here with me, going to visit my sick mother.”

My mom was sick and the way I got the news, I thought she couldn’t even talk. Immediately she saw us, her eyes went straight to Philip. She said softly, “Did you come to see me with my in-law?” He smiled and I smiled along. I answered, “We came to visit you. I was coming alone but he decided to come and greet you. He’s a friend.” My mom extended her hand and he took it in. The handshake lasted longer than usual. Their hands were locked as they talked to each other.

“Gentleman, what’s your name?”

“My name is Philip.”

“Were you part of Jesus’ disciples?”

“No, I don’t think Philip was one of the disciples, or?”

“It looks like we both didn’t take our Sunday school seriously but God will forgive us.”

They burst out laughing.

“Is it true what she’s saying? That you’re a friend?”

“Yeah, we are friends. Very good friends?”

“I understand, you kids of today think you can outsmart your parents. I understand.”

It was a returning journey. The state I found her in wasn’t as dire as my senior sister made it sound. I gave her money and asked what she wanted me to do for her. She answered, “Just don’t make him a friend forever. He looks like a husband in my eyes.” I screamed, “Mom, that’s not what I’m talking about.” She responded, “That’s what I want to talk about.”

On our way back home, he laughed a lot. Something was making him happy. He was in love with my mom, it was obvious. He said, “Your mom saw me just once and realized I’m a good husband material but you’re here putting me on probation. You think that’s fair?” I told him, “It’s unfortunate you came back with me. If my mom thinks you are good husband material, then why didn’t you marry her?” We both laughed, the kind of laughter that goes deep into the heart and brings out good feelings. By the time we got back home, I had accepted his proposal.

My senior sister called me, “Mom called to tell me you went to see her with your husband.” A few hours later, my junior brother also called, “You have a husband and you haven’t introduced him to me? He has to come and pay akonta sikan immediately before I take you away from him.” I think everyone in the community got to hear from my mom that I’d visited with my husband. Later when I called my uncle he also said, “We are patiently waiting for the wedding. When is he coming home officially?”

Whenever my mom called, she asked of him. One day she called. Philip was with me. Before she could ask about him I retorted, “He’s here. No need to ask about him.” I gave the phone to Philip and the conversation lasted for several minutes. He laughed throughout. When I took the phone from him, I said, “You can’t come and win over my mother’s heart like that. It’s not fair. You two won’t talk again.” But a few weeks later, we went back to see her. She was still not well. Mom was weak and was struggling to sit but she gathered the last strength left in her and walked to the kitchen to cook something for us. We both screamed no but she didn’t listen to us.

Close to an hour later, food was ready. While we were eating, she sat next to Philip asking him If I’d been cooking for him. If I’d been treating him well. If I’d proven myself to be wife material. To date, I don’t know what my mother saw in Philip that made her like him that way. Anytime we talked, she mentioned his name. Whenever she talked to my brother and sister, she mentioned Philip and how cool Philip looks.

Our relationship was two years old when we started talking about marriage. Philip was ready and I was ready too but my mom wasn’t ready. She was always sick. We couldn’t possibly take a step when the woman who will accept everything was suffering.

One evening, my senior sister called me. She had been living with my mom for over a month, taking care of her. She said, “Mom’s situation is critical. As we speak, she can’t even talk. She can’t maintain a gaze. She’s slipping.” I asked her, “So what are the doctors saying?” She responded, “Nothing new. They are doing their best.” I told her, “I will come around tomorrow morning. I hope she’ll get better by then.’

I woke up in the morning to see four missed calls from my sister’s line. I spent the night with Philip so I put my phone on silence. I called back and she didn’t pick up. I kept calling but all my calls went unanswered. I told Philip, “I’m calling my sister and she’s not picking up. It feels like something is wrong.” He asked, “Something like what?” “I don’t know but last night we talked before I slept. She told me mom’s situation was critical, only to wake up to see her calls again. What was she going to tell me.”

I got up, dressed up and started going. I was at the station when my sister called to tell me, “Mom couldn’t make it. She died at dawn. She’s at the morgue as speak.”

I’ve known pain but the pain that flushed through my heart at that moment was like no other pain I’d ever experienced. I broke down in the car. The guy sitting next to me kept looking at me but couldn’t ask what was wrong with me. I kept crying until I got to the hospital. Philip called and I told him what had happened. He screamed, “Ohh! How can mom do this to us?” That statement brought more tears into my eyes. It was like the world was ending for me. Mom was only fifty-nine so how could she die?”

The whole week things were hectic for me. I expected Philip to call often but he didn’t. I was the only one calling. I remember I even complained and he said, “You’re busy mourning your mom and I don’t want to interfere.” I told him, “That’s the more reason why you should be here with me. You shouldn’t leave me alone at this moment. She’s not only my mother. She was your good friend too.” Nothing changed. I was the only one going up and down with my siblings, planning the one-week rite of my mother. I saw Philip four days after my mom had died. I went to his house to tell him about the one-week rite arrangement. This guy saw me and didn’t see how miserable I looked. He was trying to have shuperu with me.

“Philip, seriously? It looks like the moment we are in is lost on you. My mom died. Your friend died. You haven’t shown any form of sadness or care towards me. You don’t even call. I came to see you and you want to ignore what I’m going through and have shuperu with me? Are you out of your mind?” I stormed out of his house with tears in my eyes. I was expecting him to call or even send a message apologizing for his weird behaviour but he never did. He called and talked as if everything was normal. A day before the one-week rite he called to tell me he couldn’t come because of work-related issues. I’ve forgotten what he said but it sounded like he was supposed to go to work or something.

I nodded my head and told him to take care of himself. After the one-week rite, I was expecting him to call and ask me how everything went. He didn’t. My senior sister was asking about him. My brother asked about him, even my uncle. The way my mom spoke about him, they expected him to be closer in a moment like this but this guy never did. I was home when he visited. He started talking about how busy life had been and how sorry he was for not being able to make it to the one week and all. I was sad, angry and disappointed in him so his apology got me livid. I spoke my mind; “I’m surprised the way you’ve acted since my mom died. You have no human feeling in you if that’s how you behave towards your friends who have lost a dear one. I’m shocked and I don’t think I will ever forget that.”

The fight continued on Whatsapp. He said, “The dead are dead, it doesn’t mean life should stop for the living. You’re taking things too far.”

I shook my head in disbelief after reading the text message. I said to myself, “When this is all over, I will count my friends again and I don’t think this guy would be one of them.

Mom is still in the morgue. The sadness hadn’t left me but Philip is making my situation worse. The last time I was there in his house he attempted shuperu again. I pushed him away and left his premises. I told myself I would never step into his house again. He’s not even trying, at least he should fake sadness and pretend he’s with me in these hard times but he doesn’t care. He goes to play football and posts happy pictures of the parties he attended. I see them on his status and feel like I’m all alone in these hard times. I’m waiting until the funeral is over to break up with him, that’s if he hadn’t already broken up with me.

Do you think I’m right to end it because of what he’s doing? Is it even normal, his behaviour? He lacks total empathy and it scares me. I fear for my future with him.

Source: Silent Beads

Featured

Things to think about before breaking a Guinness World Record

Published

4 months ago

January 10, 2024

Majesty

Breaking a Guinness World Record is a difficult but rewarding endeavour that demands thorough organisation and execution. Aspiring record-breakers may improve their chances of success and create a memorable experience for themselves and others who witness their amazing exploits by taking into account the criteria described above. Remember that breaking a record is about motivating others to push their boundaries and strive for greatness as well as attaining a personal milestone.

The desire to pursue or break records captivated many people in 2023, with some reaching viral fame while others went disregarded.

However, attempting such exploits needs considerable preparation outside of the spotlight.

Before going on a record-breaking adventure, consider the following factors:

Table of Contents

Think About Your Health

The pursuit of a record sometimes necessitates considerable physical and mental effort. Before embarking on such endeavours, it is critical to analyse your existing health situation. Consider the toll it may have on your body, since inconsistent sleep patterns and hard exercise regimens may hurt your health.

Take into account the available resources

Record-breaking attempts have financial ramifications. Determine if you have the means or funding to support your endeavour. Consider the price of a decent automobile, gasoline, maintenance, and other necessary expenses for certain records, such as a drive-a-thon.

Think about what you’ll get out of it

Recognise the motivation behind your ambition to set or break a record. Common motives include recognition, personal fulfilment, and promotional chances for your company. If the prospective rewards coincide with your objectives, it may be a worthwhile endeavour. However, if the endeavour does not provide real rewards, you should reassess your commitment.

Take a look at the rules and regulations

Each record category frequently comes with a set of regulations and guidelines established by organisations such as Guinness World Records. Learn about these rules and restrictions. Check that you can follow the regulations, as failing to do so may result in disqualification. Wasting time and effort on a project that does not fit the requirements yields an unsatisfactory result.

Prepare for a Positive or Negative Outcome

Understand that not every attempt to break a record will result in immediate success or fame. Prepare for the consequences, whether success, failure, or a lack of attention. Consider how the experience, whether you win or lose, may help you with personal development, skill development, or other elements of your life.

Setting off on a voyage to establish or break a record is admirable, but it takes careful planning and deliberation.

You may make an informed selection and boost your chances of a successful and enjoyable record-breaking event by carefully assessing these elements.

Conclusion

Breaking a Guinness World Record is a difficult but rewarding endeavour that demands thorough organisation and execution. Aspiring record-breakers may improve their chances of success and create a memorable experience for themselves and others who witness their amazing exploits by taking into account the criteria described above. Remember that breaking a record is about motivating others to push their boundaries and strive for greatness as well as attaining a personal milestone.

Featured

Consumers of pepper soup enjoy longer lives

Published

5 months ago

December 12, 2023

Majesty

Food containing 3% chilli powder, on the other hand, reduced the longevity of male cohorts by 9%. According to a study of diet and mortality data from four big, multinational studies, ingestion of chilli peppers may lower the relative risk of cardiovascular disease mortality by 26%, according to a previous research by the American Heart Association (2020). Chilli pepper usage was related with a 25% reduction in all-cause mortality and a 23% reduction in cancer mortality when compared to persons who never or only seldom ingested chilli pepper.

Consumers of pepper soup should rejoice. A recent study by Semaniuk et al.(2022) found that eating chilli peppers regularly, whether in soup or other forms, increases life span.

Chilli pepper fruits do contain phenolic compounds that are structurally similar to those that have anti-ageing activities.

Chilli powder given to diet at doses of 0.04%-0.12% significantly increased the median longevity of fruit fly cohorts of both genders by 9% to 13%.

Food containing 3% chilli powder, on the other hand, reduced the longevity of male cohorts by 9%.

According to a study of diet and mortality data from four big, multinational studies, ingestion of chilli peppers may lower the relative risk of cardiovascular disease mortality by 26%, according to previous research by the American Heart Association (2020).

Chilli pepper usage was related to a 25% reduction in all-cause mortality and a 23% reduction in cancer mortality when compared to persons who never or only seldom ingested chilli pepper.

This research piqued my interest in Nigerian pepper soup and Ghanaian light soups with spicy spices. For example, Jiang TA(2019) discovered that frequent consumption of spicy meals was also associated with a decreased risk of mortality from cancer, ischemic heart disease, and respiratory system disorders.

However, the real effect of spices and herbs in health maintenance, especially in preventing the development of chronic, noncommunicable illnesses, is still unknown.

Nigerian pepper soup has a rush of natural flavours and spices that excite your culinary senses and put your hunger right. It is quite adaptable since it can be created using a variety of meaty meats such as turkey, chicken, fish, and even our nutrient-dense offals.

Adegoke et al. (2015) conducted a study to assess customer perceptions of the gastronomic, social, and health characteristics of pepper soup. A systematic questionnaire was utilised to determine the reasons for eating pepper soup, the chosen type of pepper soup, the social setting for pepper soup consumption, beverage accompaniment preferred with pepper soup, and food categories preferred as accompaniment with pepper soup.

It also assessed people’s perceptions of the stated health advantages of pepper soup’s ingredients. According to the poll, respondents ate pepper soup on a weekly and occasional basis for enjoyment (68.3%) and relaxation (55.8%).

90.2, 85.9, 90.2, and 92% of respondents liked catfish, goat meat, chicken, and cow tail as the meaty components in their pepper soup, respectively.

Colour, texture, and flavour preferences were light or dark brown, thick or light, and peppery and spicy. 97% of respondents chose hot pepper soup, while 65.8% preferred warm pepper soup.

Respondents (66.3 and 79%) chose beer and wine with their pepper soup, whereas 75.9 and 90.7% selected non-alcoholic beverages as accompaniments, respectively, carbonated beverages and juices or mineral water.

The majority of respondents (60.5 8.52%) strongly disagreed that pepper soup held the majority of the health advantages associated with herbs, spices, and other pepper soup elements, showing that pepper soup may not be taken for its claimed therapeutic value.

The nutritional value of pepper soup is usually dependent on the components used in its preparation. The spices and condiments utilised have shown to be useful in medicinal treatments.

Pepper soup is a nutrient-dense, nutritious food. The soup is low in calories and fat, and it’s high in protein.

Pepper soup has a lot of vitamins and minerals, including vitamin C, iron, and potassium. Pepper soup is not only nutritious, but it is also tasty and simple to prepare. You may make the soup using chicken, goat meat, or yams. Spice the pepper soup to taste.

An article in the Tribune by Eunice Olaleye(2022) stated that a scientific evaluation by Dr Heben’s team on DrHealthBenefits.com concluded that the soup does assist in managing heart rate.

It also aids in blood pressure regulation, preventing it from becoming dangerously high or low. In other terms, it aids in blood pressure stabilisation.

Because pepper soup is an antioxidant, it also drives away free radicals that might cause cancer (Nwose EU, 2009; Agbor et al., 2019).

Pepper soup might help you recover from a cold or cough. There are various therapeutic benefits that you should be aware of.

The soup is also beneficial in chilly weather, according to the author. Hot and spicy pepper soup is crucial for keeping your body warm. It’s a win-win situation. You enjoy your pepper soup while also warming up your body.

According to youmustgethealthy.com, the elements in pepper soup are what make it healthy. Pepper soup contains unripe plantain, fresh catfish, cow skin, beef, or goat meat, which not only tastes good but also contains anti-oxidants.

Consuming pepper soup is one strategy to maintain proper vitamin intake while being hydrated. Because of the spicy nature, one tends to drink a lot of water.

Key Takeaways

According to the literature, pepper soup with local spices has several health advantages. According to a review of diet and mortality data from four major, multinational studies, intake of peppers or spicy spices may lower the relative risk of cardiovascular disease death by 26%, according to the American Heart Association(2020). Chilli pepper usage was related to a 25% reduction in all-cause mortality and a 23% reduction in cancer mortality when compared to persons who never or only seldom ingested chilli pepper.

With this knowledge, fans of spicy spices may include them in their diets in any way to improve their health.

NB: Prof. Nyarkotey follows stringent source requirements and bases his articles on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutes, and medical societies. My posts are for educational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice for treatment. My goal is to educate the public about scientific evidence-based Naturopathic Therapies.

The author is a Naturopathic Healthcare Professor, a Medical Journalist, and a scientific writer. Professor40naturopathy@gmail.com is the email address.

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Accra College of Education: History, Programs and Location

Published

5 months ago

December 12, 2023

Majesty

Accra College of Education is a leader in teacher education, educating the next generation of educators who will play a critical role in shaping the minds of Ghana's children. With a commitment to quality, a long history, and a devotion to comprehensive education, the institution continues to have a significant effect on the Accra and beyond education sectors.

Accra College of Education is a notable teacher education college in Ghana, located in the Eastern or Greater Accra zone. Following the Colleges of Education Act of 2012 (Act 847), the college was upgraded to tertiary status, allowing it to issue degrees in Basic Education. The university recently welcomed 321 new students into its academic community, demonstrating the institution’s ongoing involvement in creating the next generation of educators.

The college’s dedication to practical, scientific-based education is seen in projects such as “Experiment Share,” which attempts to improve science instruction through engaging and exciting live experiments.

Table of Contents

History and Background

Accra College of Education’s long history and commitment to educational quality have positioned it as a significant role in Ghana’s teacher training and growth. The institution’s programmes and activities, as well as its cutting-edge Teaching and Learning Resource Centre, highlight its continual efforts to improve teacher education quality and foster creative, practice-based learning.

The college’s willingness to adapt to the changing demands of the education sector, emphasis on practical teaching techniques, and excellent leadership under Dr. Samuel Awinkene Atintono, Principal, highlight its importance in the field of teacher education in Ghana.

Accra College of Education continues to play an important role in defining the country’s educational future by providing prospective teachers with the information, skills, and practical experience required to flourish in their careers.

Academic Programs

Accra College of Education is well-known for its wide range of academic programmes for prospective educators. The institution provides a Bachelor of Education (B.Ed.) programme that is aimed to provide students with the information, skills, and pedagogical strategies necessary for effective teaching. The programme frequently includes specialisations in many fields, allowing students to focus on their individual areas of interest.

Furthermore, the institution may offer diploma programmes in education, which would provide an alternate avenue for students seeking a more condensed teacher training programme.

Faculty and Staff

The quality of any educational institution’s faculty and staff is directly related to its success. Accra College of Education is proud of its staff of passionate educators and professionals who are not only specialists in their disciplines but also dedicated to building a supportive learning environment. The faculty frequently engages in research and intellectual endeavours that help to develop education in Ghana.

Campus Facilities

Accra College of Education provides a welcoming learning environment with cutting-edge technology to improve the entire student experience. These may include well-equipped classrooms, scientific and computer laboratories, a library with pertinent materials, and recreational areas where students may relax.

Campus Life

The institution emphasises a comprehensive approach to education, recognising that the college experience goes beyond the classroom. Accra College of Education has a bustling campus life that includes a variety of extracurricular activities, organisations, and events. These programmes allow kids to gain leadership skills, create long-lasting friendships, and participate in community service.

Partnerships and Collaborations

Accra College of Education frequently forms alliances and collaborations with other educational institutions, both nationally and worldwide, in order to keep informed of educational breakthroughs and global best practices. These collaborations may enable student exchange programmes, collaborative research projects, and faculty development opportunities.

Contributions to Education

Accra College of Education has made important contributions to Ghana’s education landscape by generating a cadre of trained and competent teachers who go on to serve in a variety of positions within the education sector. The college’s effect extends beyond its campus, impacting the quality of education in schools and communities across the country.

Conclusion

Accra College of Education is a leader in teacher education, educating the next generation of educators who will play a critical role in shaping the minds of Ghana’s children. With a commitment to quality, a long history, and a devotion to comprehensive education, the institution continues to have a significant effect on Accra and beyond education sectors.